Extremus
by GinTsuki
Summary: A galaxy in conflict. War on the horizon. Tragedies at every turn. Rey and Kylo Ren are stubbornly on their own paths - one still trying to influence the other. Who will bend first, and what will it take? Continuation of The Last Jedi. Dark themes, multiple character deaths and slow burning Reylo.
1. Dantooine

**.**

 **Chapter One**

* * *

Wheat fields stretched for acres on Dantooine, curving over picturesque hills like the pelt of a sleeping animal. Light breezes played with the endless swatches of yellow and an unfathomable blue sky yawned overhead. No memory nor dream could ever do such a landscape justice. Rey was enraptured. She stood at the top of a slope, drinking in the emotions tumbling through her heart. This felt like the first time her eyes caught the green forests of Takodana, or the first time her face caught the rain on Ahch-to. How could someone get used to such diversity of life? Would she always be this sentimental? It took most of her will to rip her eyes away from the colors of the world to check on her companion down below.

Poe was chopping wood outside a weathered farmhouse, his dark hair in stark against the white paint of the barn. Two teenage boys watched him with interest, falling for the trap of his charisma. They laughed as he missed every other strike with the hatchet. Rey couldn't tell if he was purposefully being inept for humor, or if he really did have no aim. Their laughter carried on the wind.

In the distance, the sound of a scythe-bike hummed over the breeze. Rey could barely make out the flash of metal mowing brown lines through the wheat. Poe took a shining to Moya, who piloted the bike. She was a child, who had more confidence and precision than a thirteen year old had right to have driving something that was more blade than vehicle.

Rey's smile faded.

They were on Dantooine to recruit more members for the Resistance, but they were attracting _children_ , not soldiers. Rey didn't understand the glory of a battlefield, or the desire to fight when you didn't have to. Her mind was geared to scavenge, eat, and survive another day. When she shared her mentality with Poe, he said there was more than glory in war. There was camaraderie, the feeling of being alive, the focus of having an objective.

They were very different people.

She didn't know much about Poe Dameron other then what BB-8 had told her back on Jakku. He was definitely made of different stuff than the men Rey was used to. Everyone on Jakku kept to themselves, only interacting to fulfill basic needs. Poe _mingled_. Rey caught herself listening to the pilot's stories and wayward thoughts whenever he spoke them aloud. He talked _constantly_ and distractions were plentiful enough, so Rey actively looked for other people to pawn him off to in order to get some semblance of peace and quiet.

On their first night they had been taken in by a husband of one of the Resistance fighters that died at D'Qar. The met at a public house, where Rey had wowed a crowd with her rapidly growing Force abilities. Poe scored them some drinks, and with his silver tongue, secured their lodgings. Rey could only follow Poe along, feeling a little bit like BB-8.

The family was pleasant enough, but Rey was finding the hero worship difficult to manage. She didn't feel like someone special. The more she read the Jedi texts, the more she realized how little she knew about her abilities. Kylo Ren was right - she needed a teacher; but the only one available was _him_ , and _he_ was Supreme Leader of the First Order. A coward who could not turn from his path of destruction.

It was up to Rey to teach herself.

She took a deep breath to settle herself. Rey needed a clear mind for meditation - one not filled with the thought of betrayal, regret or _need_.

She had wandered to the hill at the edge of the farm to practice some techniques she learned only in theory. The texts said that nature provided the best focus point for manipulating the Force. She knew this, for she had felt it on Ahch-To during her brief lessons with Master Skywalker. As soon as they arrived on Dantooine a familiar force inside her began to sing again. The wind between her fingers, the smell of earth underfoot, the burn of the twin yellow suns through the clouds, the sound of splintering wood; all of it made her heart thrum with power. It was a struggle to fine tune the Force around and inside her. There was so much. She easily lost herself in it. Her breath was shallow, full of adrenaline, as she reached out with her mind.

A great coldness washed over her, shocking senses as it rolled over every inch of her being. She pushed through, summoning the heat of her skin like a point to pierce the ice. Her will was strong, though her lack of knowledge made her careful. She searched out the coldness, feeling it as more of an _absence_. Was this the space between people? The space between rapture and despair? Rey didn't know, but she felt the mirth of the youths on the farm, the charm of Poe's smile, the memory of Finn's arms around her - all of it shielded her. She felt light. With one staggered breath she felt like she had touched all the stars in the quadrant with every cell in her body. It was beautiful. For a moment she felt content with her progress, but like on Ahch-to, her neonate heart lured her to tread elsewhere. To seek the unknown.

With her eyes closed, Rey swallowed a nervous lump in her throat and shifted her stance. She was still in the cold place, but she could feel the suns on her fingertips. She took courage in the solid earth beneath her and stretched herself out further to find something familiar.

 _Stop_.

She met a wall of contempt and darkness. Her breath hitched. On the outskirts of her perception, a bead of sweat trickled down beside her nose. She kept her hands out, reaching - willing her emotions to penetrate as easily as they did the coldness. The will to push boundaries was easily summoned in her excitement of discovery; but her shock of actually achieving her destination made her concentration slip.

A wave of pain ripped through her mind like a sharp toothed comb. Rey cried out, and was distantly aware of her body curling for protection from something not quite visceral. Her knees hit dirt somewhere far away and the discord across her senses rendered her dazed. The warmth she had wielded so easily fell in on itself and sucked the air from her lungs. Her body quaked with the effort of fighting back against a sudden tide of hate. Panic flooded her mind. She couldn't breathe or make a sound.

 _STOP. You idiot girl._

The wall came down - only for an instant, before reforming around her like a tomb. The shape of Kylo Ren blew in like a storm. He hovered a gloved hand over her face as if shielding himself from her head spontaneously exploding. He let his presence anchor somewhere on the outskirts of her mind, stabilizing the connection. She could finally breathe. Was this a kindness?

She drew ragged gasps as he searched her face, looking for something in her expression. Rey tried not to get lost in the depths of his eyes.

"This is the limit of your ability." His lips quivered, not sure where to settle. He tried to hide the wonder in his features, but the girl had caught him unawares. "You are channeling a tremendous power. Already it is ripping you apart." His fingers twitched as he focused, his gaze sharp as an arrow.

Rey screamed in pain. A dagger had been driven through her brain. Did she overreach, or was Kylo Ren doing this to her?

"You have _no idea_ what you are doing." The Supreme Leader's words were mocking as he twisted the pain so that she felt it throughout her entire system. So it _was_ him torturing her again. Was this for rejecting his proposed alliance back aboard _The Supremacy_? Her muscles writhed and she tried not to whimper. Rey didn't want to give him the satisfaction he craved. He was only doing this to prove he still had control; but she was stronger than him - more sure of her alignment.

Rey clenched her teeth and hissed. "I know your future, **Ben Solo**." She caught hold of his arm and leaned in from her crouch to force his hand to touch her forehead. The contact made his eyes widen. " **I've** _ **seen**_ **it.** "

The motion surprised Kylo Ren and the pain abated. She could feel his hand shaking against the skin of her face.

The feeling of his sleeve undulated with her pulse. One moment she was clutching him, the next he flickered under her grip like a mirage as he struggled to gain some mental distance. She felt his leather-clad fingers graze her jawline and she almost laughed. He couldn't fool her with his mask of evil. It felt like that night in her hut when she caressed his hand. A small kiss of his thoughts, the call to the light ringing clear in his mind. She didn't need to see his face to know the look of uncertainty there. There was goodness within him, buried deep and shielded like a terrible weakness.

Her presence stirred emotions he had thought settled and his touch disappeared.

"What I am becoming... it is not the image you have of me in your mind." The firmness of his voice blossomed across her senses, infecting her with the will to hear the truth within. They both yearned for the other to understand. Their hearts ached in tandem. "Your Ben Solo is not me. I will never be him. It is a fantasy. Like your image of Han Solo, or of Luke Skywalker. You did not know them as I did. Open your eyes Rey, see the truth before you."

She opened her eyes. His face filled her vision, which gave her the determination she needed to get to her feet and stare him down, her hand still clutching his arm.

"You are **me** Ben. Not them."

His eyes narrowed as the statement echoed between them.

"We are uncertain, afraid, desperate for guidance." Her grip on his arm became a vice and he tried to pull his hand away but couldn't. "We can help each other."

" **Do not seek me out with your mind!** " He yelled in anger, or was it _fear_? It stunned her into silence and cut a new wound in her heart. "I will _find_ you and make you see the truth. _Teach it to you_ if I have to." His eyes burned with the same rawness she remembered from their fight in the snow. His scar stood out against his skin as a reminder. It was a terrible image that made Rey second guess her relationship with this man.

Kylo Ren wrinkled his face into a contemptuous sneer before drawing back his hand from Rey's grip. Rey instinctively flinched, the blow struck the side of her head. All sensation fled her body. She rolled through the darkness and back into the sun. The hard ground of the field was against her back, and above her stretched the endless blue of a Dantooine sky. There were tears on her face, but in her disorientation Rey couldn't know when they got there. She let out a single shuttered breath before lapsing into unconsciousness.

* * *

Murmured voices pierced the dull ache that throbbed within the girl's skull. She groaned and felt a hand on her sternum, preventing her from sitting up.

"Whoa there." The words sounded condescending, and she made to argue, but her mouth felt glued together. All she could manage was an angry grunt. This made her caretaker laugh, but it was a sound filled with relieved hysteria. It was Poe. No one could mistake that voice.

Rey relaxed and accepted the canteen of water he dangled over her. She took in her surroundings as she drank. It was dark outside and her arms were itching from the hay beneath her. The pilot lit a candle. The flame showed his tired features and the woodwork of the barn they were sleeping in.

"You did a number on yourself the other day. Sit still so I can make sure you're all there." He placed a container around the flame and turned back towards his patient. "Do you know who you are, or where you are? What was the last thing you remember?" His tone was joking, but there was a layer of concern that made Rey uncomfortable.

She put a hand to her face, feeling the sting of a day-old sunburn. "One question at a time" Her voice felt weak to her and she cleared her throat to strengthen it. "And just _where_ were you sticking your hands?" Rey rubbed her chest with a suspicious glare. Poe raised his hands in mock surrender as Rey swung her legs over the side of the bale she was laying on to better view her friend.

"All there all right, but what the hell happened to you? You went out to meditate and next thing I hear is you screaming. By the time I got to you, you were passed out on the ground." Poe ran a hand through his hair. "It scared me... you've been out for near two days. I had to send a message back to the General, I was worried you put yourself out of commission permanently." The new lines under his eyes betrayed his knowledge of how screwed they would have been had his fears been true.

Rey felt ashamed. She pulled her knees into her chest and hugged them for comfort. "I- I made a mistake… I still don't know what I'm doing."

Without Luke there was no way to hone her skills. She had spent several nights reading some of the Jedi texts she had lifted from Ahch-To, but how to manipulate the force was vague. In only the span of a few weeks she had most of the abilities of a trained Jedi, but none of the discipline or understanding that came with having a mentor. And the books were like a score of people explaining in intricate detail how to eat when there was a dozen ways to get food into your stomach - some overly complicated, some with attached philosophies that did nothing to enhance her practical knowledge. She needed to just… _do it_ , yet that had just landed her into a two day coma. The frustration was maddening.

"What were you _trying_ to do?" Poe asked.

The question brought heat to Rey's face. Contacting Kylo Ren was a really stupid idea, but it was something that had been done before, so Rey knew it was a possible. The groundwork was there, like a path she traveled before - albeit forced. She hadn't known how powerful Snoke had been to carve that path himself and usher both her and Kylo through it - but she had more of a guess now. Snoke had more power than any Jedi alive. Which was now just her.

"I was testing my limits." She said quickly, before backpedaling at Poe's uneasy stare. "I won't do it again. Not like that anyway." She pushed Kylo Ren's face from her thoughts and laid back down on the hay. "I am sorry to have worried you… were you able to complete the mission without me?"

Poe nodded, though his smile diminished. "Moya, Kayl and Joua want to join up."

"That's great!" She exclaimed before reading his expression. "Isn't it?"

"They're young." Poe's face hardened in a way Rey had never seen before. "We've lost near 80% of our numbers in the last few weeks. Things are dire out there. I'm not sure if…" He looked at her with a pained expression. He must not have slept in days. "-if it's right you know? When I was their age I wouldn't hesitate to jump on an X-wing and blow stuff up-"

"You still wouldn't hesitate-"

"Yeah." His smile came back, albeit faintly. "But they don't know better."

His mood went back to pensive and they both stewed in their thoughts on the matter. Finally, Poe laid down on the wood floor next to Rey's bale. His head rested in the crook of his arm and blocked some of the light from the candle, casting flickering shadows on the walls. "They just think it's cool. But what are the odds of one of them ending up dead? What happens when it stops being fun? What happens when they are out in space mourning a dead relative, or neighbor and they want to go home?"

Rey rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling. There was a collection of small winged rodents glaring down at their light. "They won't have a home to go back to if the First Order isn't contested. This planet is flagged as Resistance-friendly, it's only a matter of time before the Order seizes it and it becomes like Fondor or Kuga II"

The silence stretched between them, filled with thoughts of whips, and food quotas that would leave most the farmers of this region starving once the dry season started.

"Did you get any reports while I was… indisposed?" Rey said, embarrassed for being useless.

"Finn and Rose got four out on Subterrel. So they beat us out. I blame you for that." Poe stretched and moved so he was also on his belly. He took off his jacket and used it as a makeshift pillow. The light went out with the movement and Rey shivered. "Bastatha, Molus IV, Polis Massa, Jax and some other little rim worlds yielded about two dozen or so. The General thinks that more will be swayed after the meeting on Ryloth."

A knot formed in Rey's stomach at the thought of Ryloth. General Leia wanted Rey to go with her and wow the nobility there. As a Princess, such feats of diplomacy would be easy for Leia, but Rey was a scavenger only a month ago. Her brand of diplomacy was the biggest stick she could find and a colorful vocabulary. She was certain to say something to embarrass the General, but if they were to get enough funds to feed and equip the growing rebellion, the money-makers needed to see ' _The Last Jedi_ '. Rey didn't like that she was going to be put on display and judged. It nauseated her.

In the darkness Poe knew Rey was lamenting her next mission. He reached out and patted her arm. "Don't worry so much. I'll be there too."

She groaned and put the arm he touched over her eyes. "You have natural charisma, where as all my friends have been shouted at or hit upside the head with my staff when I met them. I'm sure we could just point you at the nearest female Patron and we'd be fine."

Poe couldn't help but laugh at Rey's pathetic whine. "My charms work on males too you know."

Rey choked on her own saliva and leaned over to see Poe's eyes glittering in the darkness. "What, really?"

He would never forget that expression on her face as long as he lived. Poe played it out to lighten the mood. "You never know with the rich types. Their hedonistic pleasures know no bounds."

Rey fell back into her pile of hay, realizing that he was teasing her. Their conversation ended with some quiet laughter as they settled in for the night. Rey listened to Poe's breathing while urging sleep to come faster and stop her mind from lingering on a certain fallen Jedi. Kylo Ren was so angry at her mental hello. Angry and _surprised_. That made Rey smile for a moment. It faltered once rey realized she ignited an old loneliness within her. He must feel it too. On Ahch-To, Rey thought she knew him better than she knew herself, but now he was pulling away. He slipped back into being a monster, and Rey didn't know if she could pull Ben Solo out again.


	2. Debron

**.**

 **Chapter Two**

* * *

Poe and Rey prepared to leave Dantooine as soon as the sun rose. A small group of farmers saw them off, some of which Rey met at the pub before misusing her powers and taking an unwanted nap. They were kind people, with wonder in their eyes. They had only heard of the myths and legends of the Jedi, and knew little of the truth she now carried. She relished their voices full of hope and admiration, so different from the sordid characters that drifted in and out of her life on Jakku.

As Rey carried her books to the ship, Jawtun Rolfe met her eye with an expression Rey couldn't translate. He was the man who let them stay in his barn for the last couple days - the husband a Resistance fighter killed in action. Moya and Kayl were their children. The other teenager that was with Poe yesterday was Joua, one of five children from the neighboring field. The three had volunteered to join the Rebellion, though Jawtun was very much against it. As Rey was packing, Poe admitted that his final conversation with Jawtun is what wore him down last night. If Moya and Kayl didn't return, this man's whole family would be gone.

"And then what would I be fighting for?"

Poe and Rey didn't know the answer to that question. The old man's eyes were both proud and sad at the mention of his family. Now, as the two of them looked at Moya and Kayl's excited faces in the light of dawn, they felt what Jawtun felt.

Poe wondered how the hell Leia could lead like this. How could she sit back and manipulate the battlefield knowing everyone she cherished was on that field? How could she still do it after repetitively losing everything?

"You promise to come back to us?"

"We won't let you down! We'll show the First Order our mettle!"

"Don't forget us!"

The small crowd shouted and waved as Poe and Rey boarded their tiny transport shuttle. Once the door sealed shut the two of them waited silently for the thrusters to carry them high enough that their cruiser could retrieve them from the exosphere. Both tried not to think about the three lively teenagers they just left, and how many dead bodies were already scattered across space for their cause.

* * *

Their arrival at the new Resistance base on Debron was met with joy and a hot meal. Debron was a wet planet, constantly thundering and instantly soaking anything in the environment once exposed. Their equipment was struggling with the thick atmosphere and intense electromagnetic waves that pulsed from the planet's orientation with its sun, but that meant the First Order's would be too. The perfect hide-out.

Rey was toweling her hair after performing calibrations on some of the junk ships their allies had donated outside. Her debriefing with Poe was quick because Leia was off on the core worlds doing what she could to keep their faction alive. Rey was imagining what a planet-wide city would look like when Finn caught her out of the corner of his eye and skidded down the hall to change his direction. The man ran up and made to grab his friend from behind, but the surprise earned himself a hard elbow to his face.

His nose gushed blood, Rey shrieked and turned around. Both started babbling at once. People in the corridors slowed to a stop at the mix of apologies, accusations and jubilation exploding between the two. Rey handed him her towel to stanch the blood from his nose, then the both of them made their way to the main atria that served as a temporary mess hall to catch up on their exploits.

"Poe said that you were out for two days on Dantooine." His words were slightly muffled by the towel as he tried to hold a less blood-stained section of it to his face. "Force stuff?"

How many people knew she knocked herself out?

"Yeah, Force stuff." Rey confirmed glumly. She sighed and cradled her chin in her hands. "I can't find a way of test my limits without consequences."

Finn nodded, thinking deeply on the problem. He hated to admit it, but knew so little about the Force that his only solution for her was to seek help elsewhere. "Why don't you ask the General? She knew the Jedi. Maybe she has some tips. Plus she used the Force to save herself on the Raddus."

"What?" Rey said, her expression incredulous. As far as she knew, only Kylo Ren and herself could channel the force. "What do you mean?"

"Did no one tell you?" Finn's face mirrored Rey's. "After the First Order tracked us through light speed, they took out the docking bay so we were defenseless. They then blew the bridge. Everything was destroyed and flung out into space - including the General. She survived, miraculously, and pulled herself to safety. It was insane." His eyes glazed over at the memory.

Rey struggled to imagine what he had seen. She had known they lost most of their leaders in that fight, but no one had told her the details.

"The legends say that only Master Luke could use the Force. All other Jedi were killed." Rey whispered more to herself then to Finn. She had read in the texts that some people were Force-Sensitive, and trained to have powers like hers… but Leia had never shown any manipulation of the Force other than the terrifying ability of knowing when her loved ones died.

"Well the legends seemed to exclude a lot of things. Like how the Millenium Falcon smells like a back-alley brothel on Nal Hutta" Finn said offhandedly.

The comment made Rey choke on the glass of water she was trying to sip. "And how the hell would you know what that smells like?" She was equal parts suspicious and disgusted. She had met a Hutt on Jakku and it was one of the rankest species she had ever encountered. Did they have brothels? How did they reproduce?

"Never mind that. Talk to Leia when she gets back from Chandrila. I'm sure she can think of some safe way to test your powers. While you are with her, you should start preparing for your mission to Ryloth." His brow knitted in worry and he leaned in close to whisper something further. "When I was at comms, I overheard her last message to C3PO. General Hux will be attending, representing the First Order." His eyes shifted to the people around them. "It's going to be a goddamned snake pit in there. I hope to whatever entity out there who gives a damn that Leia brings in a tailor whose fashion sense includes a lot of guns. Maybe you shouldn't go... we could go on a side trip, recruit more people." He said that last part slowly.

Rey swallowed the water she had been choking on and looked to her hands. "I have to go Finn."

There was dirt and calluses on her fingers, bruises and grease stains on her forearms. Did she really have to go? Even dressed up, did Leia think she could add anything to a political meeting? She was going to be an exotic animal on display, like the ones the crime lords on Jakku used to entertain themselves.

"General Hux? Who is he?" She muttered weakly, trying to keep her mind off of Ryloth. The name sounded familiar, but the only faces she had put to the First Order were Snoke's and Kylo Ren's.

Finn started an entertaining description of the man using some creative language, but was interrupted by the lights of the atria flashing to a deep red. A siren wailed through the double doors near their table. Everyone sitting in the mess hall stood up in alarm and bolted to the corridors. Finn threw the bloody towel he was holding to the ground and grabbed Rey by the hand. He shouted something Rey couldn't catch as he dragged her out of the mess hall.

Rey was still uncomfortable with how grabby her friend could be in intense situations.

They ran into the corridor and saw Poe jogging towards the runway. The large bay doors opened and torrents of rain were drenching anyone in the vicinity. At first no one could see the problem, but then everyone ran out into the deluge to look up at a sound reverberating across the rippling sky.

A ball of fire streaked through the clouds, it's trajectory erratic. Rey thought it would strike the planet somewhere far away. However, with a scream of steel and busted engines, the object slowed before impact and leveled out, disappearing into the trees on it's new horizontal course. Rey thought the shape of it was familiar and stared intensely at the point were the sound of scraping metal and snapping trees was coming from. Her muscles froze. It was getting louder.

"Oh no… oh **no no** **no**." Finn babbled before wrenching Rey and himself back towards the base. "It's coming towards us!"

Poe yelled over the panic that Finn was starting. "It's the Falcon! They're coming in hot! **Get outta the way!** "

Like a snake uncoiling, the force within Rey awoke with her adrenaline. She stood her ground, making Finn trip over himself since he was in the process of half-dragging her to safety. Her heart drummed faster as she put out her hand, ready to intervene. Finn stared at her for a moment, his face unsure of what emotion it wanted to convey. He settled on dumbfounded.

He moved with military reflexes and slapped Rey's outstretched hand before pushing her hard at the shoulders to snap her glazed expression. " **ARE YOU CRAZY!?** "

She fell hard on her backside just as the Millennium Falcon burst through the forest edge, missed the runway entirely, and stopped a good hundred meters from the base. The pair of them looked on in horror, before looking back to each other.

"Did you really think you could have stopped a whole _goddamned_ star-ship with your _mind_!?" Finn's voice was much higher pitched than he usually liked it.

Rey rolled to her feet, every inch of her skin uncomfortably wet. "I could have tri-"

"No! No Rey. **No!** " Finn sliced the air with both arms for emphasis and paced to calm himself down. Rey was not a dog he could just wag a finger at, but holy hell, was that stupid. "You… you can do some pretty crazy things okay? I'm constantly surprised. Uncomfortably so. All the time. But I'm not sure you should be using your powers without…" He threw his hands up in the air, not knowing how to continue without coddling his friend. He knew that she was struggling with her limits, but her lack of survival instincts put him on edge. "Without knowing what you can and can't do. You could have been a _smear_ just now."

The girl's facial features twitched and she looked away darkly. "All right. Fine. You're right." Because he was. There was no guarantee that she could have pulled off stopping an oncoming ship the size of a small asteroid. What had even possessed her to try?

A ground crew that included Poe started to rush towards the smoldering ship, seemingly unaware of what had just transpired between Finn and Rey. Rey was sure that Chewbacca was alright, most the damage on the ship looked far worse than it was. The flames were from breaking into the atmosphere were already her mostly doused due to the rain. The ship's underbelly was wide open, which meant a complete overhaul for some poor tech who felt like dislodging half a forest from the chassis.

"Energy weapons… this doesn't look good." Finn frowned, the shimmer of the warped metal terrifyingly familiar. He pointed it out to Rey who winced at the sight. There were char marks and melted bits of hull on the rear of the vessel. It must have severely impacted their maneuverability, it was a wonder Chewy could even land.

The loading platform descended and Chewbacca walked off with only the slightest limp. Several motley figures followed, a few sporting wounds. They balked at the heavy rain while Poe clapped Chewbacca on the shoulder. "I see you brought some friends." The pilot started shaking hands and introducing himself. Rey couldn't catch any names because one short figure parted through the small crowd and beamed at her.

"Maz!" Rey gasped in delight. The last time they had met she had given the old smuggler the cold shoulder, ran out into the woods, and got herself kidnapped by a man who she could not get out of her head.

That sounded more messed up than it felt.

Such facts didn't matter to either party as they ran to met each other. Maz immediately stood on her toes and cupped the girl's chin like her head was a diamond. "Oh look at you! How you have changed since I last saw you!" Her smile was full of pride. "You are a wonder to behold!"

The compliments flustered Rey, and she took a step back while trying to come up with something to say. "I heard about your bar. I'm sorry that they followed us to you... if I had known we were being chased-"

"Never your fault. Even the Order knows the rules. They chose to violate them, and that hurts them far more than it hurts me." She laughed good naturedly before shaking the water off her goggles. "Let us get warm and dry. I am looking forward to a nice cup of tea. Is the General here? I have news to share."

* * *

The lights of the station were dimmed, simulating dusk since their latitude on Debron did not have a night cycle. In Maz's quarters, the old smuggler was sitting alone with Rey swapping stories about their adventures so far. Apparently Chewy and her were picking up mercenaries on the rim worlds to pad their ranks. Maz was pulling in as many favors as she could to coerce whomever she could into joining the Resistance. The duo were pulling out of a space station, when they took a nasty hit from a First Order scouting vessel. The attack damaged their propulsion and comms. They performed some emergency repairs while dodging further fire. They just pulled away as the bulk of the fleet arrived. It was a close call.

Rey knew the smuggler queen didn't have to do any of this, but Maz was quick to tell Rey that she felt a resolution approaching.

"Things are coming to a head soon child, and my role is to do what I can for what I believe in." Something in the way the woman looked at Rey, made the girl's throat feel tight. Everyone was viewing her as some sort of beacon of hope. Rey did not feel like hope in the slightest.

"I still don't understand why I am at the center of this." Her voice was faint, pleading for answers.

"The Force seeks balance Rey. You are one half of a whole." Maz said simply.

"With Kylo Ren being the other." She said bitterly, looking to the ground and grinding her teeth. Why did it have to be this way? And why her? She was nobody.

Maz sought Rey's hands. Both of them sported fingers that were calloused and warm. It connected them.

"You have met him." Maz said softly - _knowingly_.

Rey raised her eyes from the floor with a shock. Could Maz see the conflict within her? "You said to me… in the basement of your castle… that only I could bring him back. You were not talking about Luke Skywalker were you?" The truth of it only donned on her the moment she said it aloud. "You were talking about Ben Solo."

The old smuggler shrugged and leaned back. "The Force moves us both Rey. If I spoke intending one thing, who is to say that the Force didn't mean it another?" Her words were cryptic, and the old woman could see their effect on Rey. Frustration was building in the girl's heart.

"I met Ben Solo only once, when he was on his way to learning how to be a Jedi under Skywalker. Anyone who met the child could agree there was something… _special_ about him. It was as if Anakin had been born again."

"Anakin?" Rey said the name, unfamiliar with it. "Who is Anakin?"

"Kylo Ren's grandfather. The one destined to bring balance to the Force. Some had called him the Chosen One." Maz sighed heavily.

"What happened to him?" Rey said, curious. This was a story she had not heard while growing up on Jakku.

"He became Darth Vader. A Sith Lord"

Oh. Now that was a story everyone knew.

Rey sank in her seat and felt the weight of the world on her shoulders. So this had happened before, and no one could stop it then. What could _she_ do that Luke, Leia and Han Solo couldn't? Vader's story ended in death. Was Ben destined to die? Was she the one meant to kill him? Was that her destiny? If it was she didn't want it. As terrible a man Kylo Ren was... he was also Leia's son.

"He is not like Darth Vader." She said stubbornly, hoping her own voice would bring some truth to the statement.

"He has killed countless innocents. You were there when he killed his own father, and he is still murdering and terrorizing the galaxy as we speak." There was no vitriol in her voice like the others had - just a cold statement of the facts. "Your powers are growing, but he wields the Force with with raw power not seen for decades."

"Kylo Ren is a monster, but he was Snoke's monster." Rey was shaking. She was so certain that everything would be all right after they defeated Snoke, when Ben and her fought side by side. She could still remember the feeling of his back against hers. "I could feel his heart Maz. It is the heart of a child."

"Like one left on Jakku. Alone and afraid." Maz countered, her statement cutting through Rey like a knife.

They stared at each other. It was a long moment and Rey felt exposed. So Maz too thought that her and Ben were alike. Only Luke knew of her feelings towards Ben, and she had drawn a weapon because of it. Everyone thought Kylo Ren was a demon, but no one knew _why_ he was one. Rey saw his path clearly, and understood why he was on it. She had felt her feet in his footsteps, and could have followed him had there not been people that depended on her to be their savior.

But he was hers. He gave her value when she felt like she had wasted her life on a lie she had been too stupid to believe.

Rey stood from her seat and wandered to the door.

"He is like me." She whispered to the room, defiant, daring the old smuggler to say something in reply - to correct her.

Maz sighed, but it wasn't one of disappointment. "You are bound together Rey. You have only just started to wonder why, and I believe that is the answer you should continue to seek."

Rey lingered at the doorway, her emotions swirling. She didn't ask for this! She just wanted to be left alone on Jakku! Her hands clutched the paneling. Why couldn't Maz just speak plainly. Why did _everything_ the Force touch become so twisted? She whipped her face towards Maz, unhappy with what their meeting had uncovered. "How easy it is for you to spout wisdom when you're not the one everyone is depending on! When it is not **you** working out the answers!" Her loneliness poured in on herself and she ran from the room, feeling like a child. She regretted her outburst, but no one knew what was happening to her. What was changing at the core of her being.

She didn't stop till she found her bunk, a dusty room with an uncomfortable cot and thin blanket. She sat down and buried her head in her hands. Why was she always crying? Where was the strong woman who scavenged war machines to survive? She had hoped Maz would quell her fears, to tell her that she wasn't like Ben Solo at all - but she only confirmed it.

Ben Solo, the boy who was easily seduced by Snoke.

Ben Solo who became Kylo Ren.

What would Rey become? Who… or what would she be if she had taken that hand - the hand that touched hers one night and made her feel not alone. What if he offered it again, when their were no fighters to save? It was tearing her apart. Kylo Ren was a tool for everyone around him, and so was she, only they loved her where Kylo Ren was feared.

Only he understood her loneliness.

Her thoughts died at the knock on her door. Finn poked his head in and looked around with a Stormtrooper's lack of privacy. "Hey, the General is looking for you- are you alright?" He spotted Rey red eyed and weary on her bed. "Did something happen? Force stuff?"

Rey laughed pathetically. How easy it was for this idiot to make her smile. "No. Not this time."

"Well c'mon. Even though I'm grounded for this one, Leia is letting me in on the briefing. Afterwards we can get a stiff drink and you can tell me what's on your mind." Finn popped back into the hallway and Rey took a deep breath before following.

"Thank-you Finn." She said quietly.

"For what?" He wrinkled his nose, surprised by her tone.

"For being my friend." It was the difference - the only difference that she could see - between her and Kylo Ren.


	3. Ryloth

**.**

 **Chapter Three**

* * *

The mission to Ryloth was relatively simple. Leia, Rey and Poe were going to a gathering in Lessu - the capital of the planet in an attempt to gather resources. The summit was hosted by a Twi-lek war-hero and four successors of former Senate member Orn Free Taa, whom Leia did not remember fondly. Present at the meeting would be General Hux and his entourage, several members of Royalty and various representatives of most the influential planets. Rey could not recall half the names and faces she was supposed to remember, but with every dossier she felt more and more conflicted. A meeting such as this had not been summoned since the formation of the First Order - at least no meeting with so many people on opposing sides of this war.

Leia was being very careful to drill into their heads that everyone was going to be tense, and looking for any means to go on the offensive. There was the possibility that there would be an attack from the First Order, since there weren't many supporters of the New Republic left. Rey was the only one who thought that something going wrong was a certainty, and her comments were grating on the Resistance tacticians.

What struck Rey the hardest was that a lot of the people Leia was hoping to meet would not go to Ryloth until Leia told them that the Last Jedi would be attending. They feared annihilation, but Rey's presence was Leia's assurance they'd be safe. People were risking their lives to meet her, and that fact put Rey close to the breaking point. After the briefing, when Leia was overseeing the fitting of Rey's dress, the girl snapped.

"I can't do this. I **can't.** " She tried to viciously pull cream colored swatches of silk over her head but the inhuman tailor let out cry like a lion and started slapping Rey's hands. Leia pushed the tailor and Rey apart and forced a smile. "Rey. You can do this. All I am asking is for you to be at my side. No one will harm you. And you don't have to say anything you don't want to."

"They will judge me, and I'm just a scavenger from Jakku! I know nothing about politics!"

Leia gave her a hard stare. "And you think that matters?" The words were meant to be the start of a motherly pep talk, but they were oxygen to a spark glowing deep within Rey's heart.

"No. It doesn't matter who I am does it?" She shook her head, hands shaking. "The only thing that matters is that I am a potential weapon." Rey spat the words, emotion building with every syllable. It was probably better for everyone that she was a nobody. Her fingers weaved into the beginnings of her dress and clenched. "Why even dress me up?" She said in a hysterical whisper.

"Rey."

"No. You will listen to me for once!" She turned, the lengths of fabric twisting about her legs. Her fear and despair were merging into anger. "I am starting to understand why your son is the way he is."

Leia flinched and recalculated her expression into a passive mask. Rey continued her tirade, feeling exactly what she felt on Ach-To after Luke found her with Kylo Ren. "This _power_. Having it puts us on a path we have no choice but to follow. Who I am doesn't matter, as long as I'm a Jedi. My value here is what you can bargain for!"

"Rey. I should have explained. Please don't think I am merely using you -"

"I spent my life… waiting for a family…" Rey choked up. Gods she really thought they'd come back for her. She felt like a little girl again, crying at a ship tearing across the sky. She yearned to have a family, but it was all fake. She was a soldier here, not a _daughter._.. not anything.

The anger she felt was brief. Leia's eyes brimmed with tears and everything Rey had as ammunition against this woman toppled as the General showed her own weaknesses.

"I spent my life _losing_ mine." The General's voice was firm, and she regained control of herself in the blink of an eye. "I have witnessed the terrible curse of the Force, and have also seen the miracles it can bring." Leia put a hand on Rey's shoulder. "Rey, you always have a choice… as my Ben did. You can return to Jakku - but we both know there is nothing there for you. If you like, you can go off and pilot the Millienium Falcon with Chewy and keep your head down if you so desire. I will not stop you or judge you for it. I will give you anything you need."

"But… Ryloth. _Everyone_ … you need a Jedi to keep going. You need **me** to counter Kylo Ren." The hysteria built up within her. She could see no path ahead where she wasn't being used as a pawn. She was a trapped animal.

"I would rather die at the hands of my son, then lose another person I love to the dark side of the Force."

She meant it. Those words were laced with a truth so deep and terrible Rey couldn't deny them. They stared at each other for a long time, understanding what they represented to each other.

Leia knew Rey looked to her like the mother she never had, and didn't throw those feelings aside like Rey thought she must. Even as her resources burned, Leia could still love.

A sudden calm washed over the girl and her body untensed. The tailor let out the breath he had been holding this whole time and went back to his sewing kit. Rey blushed at how foolish she felt, venting at the general the way she did.

"I… I'm sorry for yelling at you. You don't deserve that, not after everything you've been through." She said meekly, picking at the wrinkles she made in her clothing.

"Rey. You had your whole world turned upside down in the span of a few weeks. You are entitled to your frustrations." Leia replied seriously. "Now, let Bekku finish his work. We will talk more tomorrow morning. Please excuse me." She smiled at Rey and left the room so suddenly that the girl didn't have time to wipe her tears and see her leave.

* * *

The lights of Lekku were beautiful at night, but the air was cold and the dress that Rey was wearing didn't insulate well. It was a simple garment, fitted and plain with layers of gathered silk in various off-whites. It was designed to give Rey full mobility if anything went amiss. Her makeup and headdress were what made her the most uncomfortable. She had never owned rouge, or kohl or even learned how to properly apply it. Luckily Bekku the tailor was a skilled artist and knew how to best accentuate her features. The effect made Poe's eyes constantly roam over her face; after the fifth time she hissed at him to stop it.

"It's the pearls in your hair. They are distracting." He said with a grin.

"Then why do you keep staring at my mouth - you're doing it now!"

"Hush, both of you. I'm starting to regret my decision to include you Captain Dameron. Rey is going to have enough distractions as it is." Leia teased with enough seriousness that her two companions lapsed into silence. Poe's stupid grin was still bothering her though.

They were in an antechamber that was more of a balcony than a room. Apparently, they needed to wait for a herald to announce their arrival. The process took longer than it should have in Rey's mind, and there were only so many wayward hairs the girl could lick back into place or wrinkles she could smooth out of her dress.

The door finally opened and a tall Twi-lek apologized with zero sincerity for the wait. He turned to the large gathering of people below the gallery and in a booming voice announced that "General Leia of the Resistance" had arrived along with companion "Rey - Jedi apprentice". He didn't say anything about Poe which made the pilot laugh.

Rey froze as everyone turned their heads to look at her. Leia gently took her by the elbow and descended the carpeted stairs to a brightly lit ballroom. Everything gleamed. Rey wouldn't be able to find a speck of dirt or dust if she tried. She spotted small droids hovering under tables just waiting to scoop up any sign of mess and focused on them rather than the dozens of eyes following her around the room.

Leia went straight to a short elderly Twi-lek woman who was a shade of green Rey had never seen before. "General." Leia said politely.

The Twi-lek General smiled widely and hugged Leia like a sister. The Twi'lek sighed and it felt like a thousand words were in that breath. Rey didn't know if their relationship was personal or only meant to look that way. The two pulled apart and stared at each other.

"It has been so long since I have seen you. I want to tell you, right now, before you even think to _ask_ , that you have my support - fully and completely. A dozen of my best pilots will be escorting you home tonight." She put her hands on Leia's shoulders and touched foreheads. She whispered something so only Leia could hear, and Rey tried not to look rude straining her ears to hear it.

Leia touched the hand on her shoulder. "Hera, I know where you stand, and I thank-you for everything you can do for us." The General turned to Rey and smiled. "Hera this is Rey. Rey, this is General Hera Syndulla."

Rey didn't know what to do. She inclined her head in a way she hoped was respectful enough and tried to keep eye contact like Leia told her to. "Nice to meet you General Syndulla."

"And I'm Poe Dameron." Poe interjected and shook the General's hand. "I have heard all about your adventures General. I would have loved to challenge you to a race when you were at your prime."

Hera's eyes glittered like emeralds. "Boy! You better watch yourself, I am still at my prime. You'd be eating my ion trail as soon as I sat my ass down in the cockpit."

The four of them laughed, and Rey thought for a moment that this wouldn't be so bad. Hera was a lot like Leia. That opinion only lasted until she turned around came face to face with someone in a decorated First Order uniform and a matching look of disgust. A sound like much like the one she made when Finn came up behind her in the corridor the other day came unbidden to her throat.

"You will not get away with the murder of our Supreme Leader. You will be made to suffer, achingly, for as long as your pathetic life may last!"

Rey struggled to recover from this bizarre hello and looked from him to the Stormtroopers at his side. "Excuse me?"

Hera Syndulla gestured to Hux. "This is General Armitage Hux of the First Order. He likes to lead his introductions with poorly constructed jokes."

"Oh!" Poe said with glee. "It's an honor to finally speak with you General Hux. You might want to hire a new secretary sir, the last one you had put me on hold indefinitely. I had to pass the message that we were going to destroy your dreadnought personally."

Hux glowered at Poe, the muscles in his jaw working on several obsenties at once. He spat a simple " **You** " before ripping his gaze away to look back to Rey and General Syndulla. "My threats are not to be taken lightly. Or has the Hosnian system already faded from everyone's memory? I suppose no one remembers the bits of **cancer** we _sterilize_ from the galaxy."

"I do."

The two Stormtroopers flanking the officer were pushed aside as a human with a mane of thick white hair marched over. He had a countenance that was etched in stone - haunted and pale. At his side were several aids that couldn't mask the hatred boiling behind carefully powdered skin and heavy brocades. Leia draw a quick breath as Hera extended an arm to the suddenly appearing noble.

"General Hux, this is King Thom of Courtsilius who was visiting Coruscant at the time of his planet's destruction. Your majesty, please allow me to introduce the man who destroyed your wife and daughters as well as everything else you loved."

Had the mood not been so heavy, Rey would have found the speed at which Hux' face had changed from red to white quite intriguing.

No words could salvage the situation and the King lunged at Hux, causing the Storm Troopers to engage in melee combat. No weapons were allowed in the manor, but the Stormtroopers armoured fists were more than capable of lethal damage. The King was a powerfully built man, but the Stormtroopers were well trained and already delivered a blow to the man's grief wracked face. Rey pushed the three of them apart with a wave of her hand as if they were rag dolls. The King fell into the arms of his companions while the two Stormtroopers were flung into Hux, causing the three of them to slap against the marble floor like fish on a deck.

The disturbance caused a ripple of gasps throughout the room and every single soul fell silent. Hux was the first to speak, spitting threats like a petulant child. The noise was deafened with the sound of slow applause drifting from a stage to the far left. Four Twi-leks stood there looking entertained, the one that was clapping was the tallest and a beautiful shade of blue.

"Well. Let that be our only incidence of violence in our home. Thank-you for intervening on our behalf young Jedi."

He stared at Rey and she shuddered. There was something that disturbed her about that one, she could feel it across a room.

"Now that we have your attention, I would like to thank you all for coming. There is a lot on the agenda for tonight, so could you all focus here for a moment while we introduce everyone." The people reluctantly moved towards the stage. King Thom still stared down at General Hux, his face swelling where he was punched. If looks could kill they would have been standing in a crater the size of a small nation. Leia put a hand on the King's arm and spoke softly with him. Hux got to his feet and glared at Rey.

Poe guided Rey closer to the dais and she lost sight of the First Order operatives as the crowd thickened. On the stage was an enthralling woman dressed like a doll, with bright white powder on her face and vivid red markings distorting her features.

"I am Queen Sosha Soruna, representing Naboo."

"Oh maker," Poe said with wonder. "That's Queen Sosha? My mother flew with her. I didn't know she was so beautiful." Rey agreed. She was the most beautiful woman Rey had ever seen.

"I am at this summit to make my allegiance known, and to convince my fellow rulers that the First Order must be stopped. The Senate and the New Republic need to be reinstated and the Resistance group headed by General Leia Organa fully supported in this endeavor." Her words were met with mixed reactions, but what unsettled Rey the most, was the silence of the majority. A lot of the larger groups of well-groomed and influential nobility merely nodded along as if Sosha's speech were dull entertainment.

"If necessary I volunteer my world as the new capital for the New Republic. I know the risk this poses to my people, but we will not stand while further crimes are committed uncontested across the galaxy. Thank-you for your attention." The Queen stepped down as another took her place. It was an Aqualish, a strange alien race that reminded Rey of the insects she would sometimes eat on Jakku when she was desperate for protein. Aqualish were common on Jakku, but Rey never liked them.

"I am Protectorate Wan, representing the Jinata system."

Poe sucked air between his teeth and leaned over to explain. "First Order controlled territory. Nasty business went down there. We had a few operatives that tried to take advantage of the situation. It didn't go well." Rey nodded along, curious as to where this leader stood.

"I am at this summit to support the First Order. They seek to unite the core planets and distribute their wealth and protection across all who support their cause. Vardos is now functioning again after what the Empire had done to my world. We were left to die, our cities rotting. The First Order rescued us from the ashes. I fully support their cause to unite us all under one rule."

The reaction from the crowd was more negative than it was for the Queen of Naboo, but the silence from the majority was the same. More representatives came up to the stage to speak their allegiances. A lot of them admitted open-mindedness, and said just enough to not draw ire from either side. Rey would have thought them cowards if she and everyone else present hadn't been weighed down by the black hole of grief that was the King of Courtsilius.

Soon Rey saw Leia climb the steps. Terror struck her, and she couldn't pinpoint why. Was it the wolfish expression on the tall blue Twi'lek? Or the way the Twi'lek woman next to him clutched her chest and narrowed her eyes like a predator stalking a kill.

"I am General Leia Organa of the Resistance, former senator of the New Republic and last Princess of Alderaan. I have come today to ask for your aid against the First Order, which has committed terrible crimes against the New Republic - destroying entire planets with weapons that should never have been built and ending billions of innocent lives."

A wave of murmuring started to move through the crowd. The tall blue Twi-lek who had yet to introduce himself, but whom Poe had just identified as Lao Taa, interjected.

"General Organa, it has come to our attention that the new Supreme Leader of the First Order is your son. Benjamin Solo, who now calls himself Kylo Ren."

A lot of the nobility looked genuinely shocked at the news. Rey looked around in surprise. "They didn't know?"

"Rumors are one thing, but Lao Taa actually calling her out on it is the real surprise." Pao kept a hand on Rey's elbow and started to survey the crowd a little more cautiously. General Hux couldn't be seen, but a Stormtrooper helmet was just visible in the corner of his eye. "Taa revealed his hand pretty quickly; we are now in the manor of what seems to be a supporter of the First Order. I don't see anyone running yet, so we might be okay." The pilot sighed in frustration."But this could be a problem."

"This is unfortunately true." Leia admitted, her face displaying the same impassive mask that Rey saw when she yelled at her yesterday. The grumblings got louder and Rey could hear the people around her saying things made her blood boil.

"At the last senate meeting they revealed she was Darth Vader's daughter. Now her son is following his footsteps?"

"It seems the Jedi Order consistently produces villains of high caliber. If they never existed perhaps none of these things would have come to pass."

"I should be up there with her." Rey said quickly, wanting to do anything to help the General deflect the negative attention she was generating. She felt like an fool fearing the people's judgement when Leia was the one up on the stage being laid bare. Rey moved to pass through the front of the crowd and get to the stairs, but Poe held her fast. "No. the General anticipated this. You'll only weaken her position"

Lao Taa continued, "So you mean to involve the whole galaxy in a domestic squabble? Again?"

"If you think the destruction of five planets is the product of a family squabble, I think you need to open your eyes." Leia replied coolly. "My son is dead, and this shadow in his place needs to be stopped. He will not cease walking this path of destruction until every member of the New Republic is killed. I will not stand by and let innocent people die because they want to be free to govern themselves."

Hux rose to the dais. "This is not true. We are not tyrants, and we will cease our destruction once the **Resistance** is dead. The New Republic is free to exist as long as they adopt centralist policies and cease supporting these _insects_ that call themselves rebels. "

"You will answer for the billions of lives you have taken!" Came a shout from King Thom.

Hux spun around at the top of the stairs and pointed at the King. "I will answer to whom? Your people are **dead**. You are the King of **nothing** , just like the General - a Princess of a world no one remembers, fighting for a system of government that is decades out of date. We span the whole galaxy. We should be united under one rule and may the strongest have that rule."

"Those are the sentiments of the **Empire** , General Hux, and they have led us into a series of bloody wars that on some worlds _still_ have not ended. Your gratuitous use of evil is _not_ supported by the majority of people here. Already your presence _bullies_ others into silence. The only ones who will stand against you are those with nothing left to lose." She cast an arm out to the crowd. "Others do not realize that they have already lost by not opposing your organization at its birth, but they will." The weight that Leia could throw around with her words struck Rey with awe. "They will realize once it's their children you are indoctrinating, their worlds you are transforming into factories and weapons to fill the skies with war machines to turn on the weakest link."

The words echoing off the pillars of the quiet ballroom were hard to swallow, but swallow them they did. Leia's greatest strength was speaking the truth to a room full of people that needed to hear it.

"The First Order has its benefits General Organa." Hux replied softly. "You merely are _incapable_ of seeing it. You embrace chaos. A Jedi for a brother, a Sith Lord for a father, a smuggler husband, and a son who is doing everything in his power to crush your own Resistance. How can you possibly stand against us when you cannot influence your own family to stand with you?"

"I stand with the Princess." General Hera raised her voice from the crowd.

"I stand with General Organa." King Thom yelled with a voice of thunder.

"We have, and will continue to fight alongside her!" Poe shouted, Rey joining in at the sound of his voice in her ear.

"Ah yes. The **Jedi**." Lao Taa said with disdain. "Tell me, where is it you come from little girl? I hear you were raised on Jakku. Alone. No education, no parents. How did General Leia even find you?"

"Why does everyone ignore me?" Poe quipped as Rey took a step forward.

"I stole her husband's ship." She said honestly, causing laughter to break the tension. Some of the laughter was mocking, but the faintness of Leia's smile gave Rey the strength she needed. She moved through the crowd and up to the stage. "I was called to defend the galaxy from evil." She stood before General Hux, her voice now directed at him and not Lao Taa. "And you don't even hide it. The evil within your organization."

"There is no good and evil in war _girl_." Hux hissed, then murmured, "You will never grow old enough to learn that lesson."

"I will turn your organization inside out." She threatened back.

"You may have killed our leader, but it will be an eye for an eye." He whispered darkly.

Rey smiled coolly, "I did not kill Snoke. That was your Supreme Leader doing what a Sith apprentice does best."

Hux's mouth twitched, unsure of what expression to adopt.

Lao Taa took that moment to clear his throat.

"Yes. Interesting. Well, let us move on to Seneschal Maru from House Brentioch." The Twi-lek attempted to resume order but Hux stepped forward and pushed Rey's chest like a schoolyard bully.

"I think I have heard **enough**. This place is a den of **rebel scum** and needs to be wiped from the _planet_." The First Order General said, spittle hitting Rey's face.

She stood her ground and moved so her face was practically touching Hux's. " _How dare you touch me!_ "

Collective shouts started, and those that were silent for the talks, now had fear in their eyes. Rey could see them seeking out the exits.

Rey laughed, unbelieving. "You're too much of a _coward_ to do anything while you are still here."

"That is because I have a proposition that I am certain even the supporters of the _New Republic_ could get behind." Hux said, the grin on his face making Rey's stomach clench. He raised his voice above the din so it could be heard.

" **If Leia Organa dies tonight, I will spare all of your lives!** "

Rey's eyes widened and she reached out in anger, gripping Hux by the throat, surprised at how easy it was once she immobilized the troopers at his side. "You are in no position to spare your own life".

" **LEIA!** " Poe shouted, his eye catching the small blaster that the Twi'lek next to Lao pulled out of her large bodice. He scrambled up the side of the stage, as Rey dropped Hux to try and see what Poe was yelling at.

She spotted the blaster in the Twi-lek's hand just as she fired it.

Rey tried to grip at the energy it discharged, embracing it with her powers, but it moved like water and slipped through her fingers. She managed to deflect it slightly so that it struck Leia in the hip. The Princess went down heavily without a sound. Rey screamed, but the Stormtroopers were on her before she could run to the General's side. Hux laughed as he swiftly walked backwards towards an exit.

"You claim to defend the weak, but your General is **dead** and our fleet were **burning** your rebel worlds as soon as this _sham_ of a summit started! You can do nothing girl. **Nothing**." That last word echoed within her mind and something within her changed.

The girl fumbled in the Stormtrooper's grip and lost herself in anger. As she dropped to her knees to slip free, she saw Poe turning Leia over and the Twi'leks being engaged by those loyal to Leia, including Hera Syndulla. Apparently the Twi'lek noblewoman wasn't the only one who slipped a weapon into the room. Screams could be heard over war-cries. The screams wove into Hux's laughter and Rey couldn't take anymore slaughter. She didn't even have to see the red-headed man to squeeze him with her powers and drag him squealing back to the stage.

" **NO! YOU WILL ANSWER FOR WHAT YOU'VE DONE!** " There was fear in his eyes and Rey felt herself feed on it. What was this limitless power? Why was it suddenly so easy to use? On her left, Hera Syndulla was thrown from the stage like a bundle of junk, striking the floor unmoving. On the right, Poe tried to move Leia from the fray breaking out on stage, but the General's body was being trampled.

Rey felt something rip deep within her.

" **STOP!** "

She screamed and a wave of power launched everyone up and back. She watched them fall like cloth dolls to snap against the ballroom floor. Some had limbs that stuck out wrongly, others were bleeding from their nose and mouths. General Hux's neck was twisted cruelly as he skidded several meters from where Rey had suspended him in her malice.

No one was moving.

" _Haa…_ " Rey wobbled, a flash of a memory she shared with Ben coming to the surface. Acolytes dead in the rain, a lightsaber in his hand. " _What... have I done.._."

She staggered to where Leia still lay, her eyes closed, smoke still coming from the wound in her hip. She pulled the General up, blood sticky on one of her shaking hands from touching the back of the hole that had been blasted through the Princess. Her other hand hovered over the half cauterized mess of her front seeing if by some miracle she could heal it. Her breath hitched, but her manipulation of the force was coming out all wrong. No healing came forth. She had zero control, but the limitless power was still there and growing larger. Waves of negative emotion were bursting from her form with every painful beat of her heart. She looked at Leia dying. Hux's words came back to her.

" _You can do nothing girl. **Nothing**._"

The girl hunched over the General and screamed, demanding that the Force fix this thing that she had done. Her lungs vibrated hotly from the strain. The air pulsed and Rey struggled with what to do. She looked around, looked to her hands, looked to the vaulted ceiling.

" _Ben…_ " She breathed. Clarity pouring over her and dowsing the storm that was her heart. She needed to tell Ben. He was more powerful, more practiced. Maybe there was something he could do. She took a gulping breath and tried to remember the wheat fields, the ocean spray, and the touch of his hand.


	4. Return to Dantooine

**.**

 **Chapter Four**

* * *

The sun had not risen and Kylo Ren was watching the once white farmhouse burn from a familiar hill at the edge of the property. He had sent his officers in the direction the red-headed girl had been running before he caught up with her. At his feet her body coiled, one hand mid-reach for a rock. Her hands would never reach for anything again. There was the barest hint of screaming from outside his line of sight. Kylo Ren would have been at the source if he hadn't felt something wrong through the Force. There was an unsettling creep from the center of his chest, and he was trying to find the root of it. The lifeless eyes of the girl below him stared up at him as if in question. Hazel. They reminded him of-

A new scream ripped his attention to back to the smoldering farmhouse. His brow twitched. He had killed everyone inside - and he was _very_ through. Yet, before him was a figure walking out of the belching smoke. The heat whirled around her, blackening her skin and catching fire to the hem of her dress which drifted like kelp in a burning tide.

His skin rippled beneath the heavy layers he wore. That wasn't a scream. It was his name. Former name - he reminded himself carefully. The few steps forward he didn't know he had taken now turned into a jog. This wasn't possible. He knew where she was - and it was **not** here.

Obviously, this was not a good time for them to meet.

He knew from the last touch of her mind that this was where she was recruiting rebels. He was here to make sure that never happened. Despite that, and the fire threatening to catch on her clothing, Rey was calling him, choking in the smoke.

"What are you doing here?" He called over the roar of the flames, completely taken aback at her presence. She looked like a spirit turned sith-spawn. He wasn't ashamed to admit it terrified him more than anything. He tried to get as close to her as he could, but the bonfire behind her was overwhelming. How was the heat not blistering her skin?

He looked closely and saw that it was. He cursed and circled in front of her like a confused animal. She couldn't feel the pain separate from the Forces burning through her. She was a wick with no oil.

" **Rey get out of the fire!** " He shouted while desperately trying to piece together the situation he found himself in.

" _Is that where I_ am?" She said faintly, reaching out like a blind woman with no landmarks to use. Her head turned to where Kylo Ren was shielding his face from the heat. Her legs didn't want to work properly as she stumbled forward to the familiar voice she crossed several systems to hear. Her surroundings were starting to come into focus and she locked onto the dark figure before her. Kylo Ren made to grab her arms and drag her away from the blaze, but her eyes rolled around and caught the red tendrils of Moya's hair on the flattened wheat where she fell.

" _Moya…_ " She breathed, then looked to the man looming before her, arms reaching to take her. An ill wind coiled around Rey and she slashed her arms through the air, causing Kylo Ren to stumble backwards. "This. This was a **mistake**!"

Rey fluttered in and out of reality, her body unable to support the powers she had summoned. Kylo Ren could see that her clothes were wicking blood from somewhere. He tried to figure out what was happening and why.

"What _are_ you?" Kylo Ren asked in a whisper. There was no way she could physically manifest across the galaxy like this. No one could channel that sort of power, not without immediately imploding - not even an anomaly such as her. He reached out with his mind and tried to touch hers for answers, but the torrent of anguish was like trying to hold onto razor wire. He examined the scene with unbridled curiosity. He had no idea what this girl was capable of anymore - if she was even human.

"Rey. You're mind is _breaking_. If you don't gain control, you will die." He wasn't certain if the damage she already did to herself is reversible. He kept his voice level and tentatively walked forward. Her mind carved into his like a saber, and the fire licked at his legs, but he had Sith training and she did not. If she could take the pain, it would be that much easier for him.

 _Save her Ben_.

Kylo Ren stopped mid-step.

"Why?" Rey's question could barely be heard over the crackling fire. The bloody cinders of her hem floated up to her face. Stray locks of her hair burned and floated away like stars. "Why do you do this… to me, to _them_?" Her hands brushed her face, but the tears she meant to clear evaporated. Instead she smeared blood that flaked off to join the dance of soot around her. "To feel _this_?"

"Is that _your_ blood Rey?" Ren asked, moving through the shadows of her mind, hissing at the pain of it, and seeing the bodies around her. Was she mortally wounded? What had Hux done at that meeting? A familiar set of brown eyes from the floor locked onto his.

 _Save her… and be saved._

 _Mother._

Rey moved her hands away from her face and looked at her fingers. The stains there made her power swell and push against the man struggling towards her yet again. "Your mother is dying."

Kylo Ren gritted his teeth and shook his head. "My mother is already **dead** Rey. I just felt it. Let it go. You're burning up."

She cried a howl of despair, throat raw. There were no more tears to shed. The sound of her mourning sucked the wind from Kylo Ren's lungs.

Her voice, weak, now became modulated by something dark within. " **How can you not care?** " Her eyes reddened and her body, which had wavered like a sheet in the wind, tensed and angled towards him stubbornly. " **She was your MOTHER**."

Kylo Ren could feel the storm of emotions within her settling into anger. Sharpening into hate.

The man moved towards her cautiously. Trying not to think about how familiar her energies were becoming. The best thing he could do was distract her from the emotions she was feeding off of. "Rey. Where are you... are you safe there?"

Her body language went back to uncertainty and Kylo Ren realized that he still had a chance to save her.

"Ben… _Ben_ … _I killed them all_."

Kylo Ren was now close enough to reach her. He took off his glove slowly, Rey let out another anguished wail. " _I don't know what to do!_ "

"Shh…" Ren said, holding out his hands. His voice was gentle. "Focus on me. You need to seek me out with your mind, not your body. You are letting the Force rip through you, cut it off. Focus like you did before." He grabbed her arms and pulled her closer. He felt the blistered skin under his fingers crackle.

Kylo Ren felt her mind as she tried pull herself together, but everything hurt - Leia's death, the girl's body on the ground, his pressure on her burning body. Another wave of power surged out of her and it made the man call out in surprise. He took the brunt of the blow to his chest. Puffing he pushed Rey to her knees and dropped down to take her face in his hands. He didn't have time to be patient.

"I told you I would teach you. Now shut up and **listen**." He grimaced and put his forehead to hers. Rey could feel his breath against her face. "Whatever you were doing before, on this planet. Do it again, **now**."

In her fear, his harsh words were the only thing that cut through the muddled chaos. She blindly obeyed, thinking back on that day. Wheat fields, wood… Poe chopping wood. Oh gods… what had she done to _him_? Laughter… of dead people. Of Moya.

"It's no use… there's nothing there… I can't feel the light anymore." Her voice fell into despair and she shook like an escape pod on reentry.

Kylo Ren felt her mind feebly seeking anything familiar and failing. Her presence before him flickered and then faltered. The absence of her for only a second made Kylo Ren's heart leap into his throat. If she went back to Ryloth now, in this state, she was guaranteed to perish. He panicked and did the only thing he could think to save the connection and kissed her, hard. Her lips beneath his were blistered and bloody, but he spoke against them, "Come on Rey. There is light there. Feel it. **Come on**!"

The effect was surprising, she looked at him, bright eyes searching. She could not find the light in herself, but she was confident in the light that existed in Ben Solo.

" _As darkness rises… so does light to reach it._ " She murmured against his mouth and for the briefest moment, smiled. "I know what to do."

The connection broke. Ben was left holding air, his eyes wide with the knowledge that her mind was still not in a state to cope with the damage she had suffered. "Rey." He pounded his hands into the hot coals beneath him. His burns gave him enough pain to work with and he closed his eyes, reaching out and feeling her presence halfway. Their minds came together weakly, neither could see the other.

"Rey. You need to keep your mind here while I find you. If you go back to your body it _will_ kill you."

" _I know_." The voice in his mind was suddenly clear. Strong even.

Ren grunted and tried to solidify their bond. The effort to reel her in was rending him immobile back on Dantooine. How was he to get to her in time?

" _That was the dark side… wasn't it? I was so full of hate. For you… for everyone. I think I understand now, your abilities._ " She whispered, drifting. Her life force was a thread and it was fraying.

"Rey! **Focus** **on me** Rey... you are slipping. I can't help you if you can't help yourself!" But he knew there wasn't enough of her left. She was going to die. The only shred of hope - of doubt he ever felt.

A vision of her face roared to life before him. She was floating in space. Her hair curled around her head like a halo. Was she already dead?

" _You will not lose me Ben Solo. I have finally found my place. My reason for existing._ "

The surge of energy she sent towards him let him get back to his feet and back away from the fire. He opened his eyes, the vision faded against the white of the flames. "You've gone mad..." He said quivering, confused at where her abilities were manifesting from. Half his mind remained tied to Rey while the other half desperately made his body move as fast as it could towards his vessel.

" _You were right Ben, I did turn first."_ There was the barest hint of regret in those words. " _A lesson I needed to learn. I know how the Force works now. I just need to show you. You are not my teacher Ben."_ With a kindness Kylo Ren had not heard in a long time she said, " _But I am destined to be yours."_

"Save your strength, Rey. I'm coming to get you."

" _I know, and I'll be waiting."_


	5. Return to Ryloth

**.**

 **Chapter Five**

* * *

The routine of take-off preparations soothed Kylo Ren's nerves as he settled into his TIE fighter. He had ordered his troops to leave Dantooine and escort him to the _The Finalizer,_ and they followed without question _._ His thoughts were disjointed from his encounter with Rey. The brief trip to the Star Destroyer was a welcome reprieve to sort them. The girl had succumbed to the dark side of the Force, but it's hold on her was broken. He was wrestling with the fact that he was the one that broke it. He had to. Despite what she thought, she was no Jedi. Like him, she would be powerful wielding the dark side, if only she could embrace it. Together they could overcome _anything_.

But that brand of power is not what she sought. She wanted answers, not strength. She wanted to know where she belonged in the world.

"S _he hasn't rejected_ _ **me."**_ He thought, curious, " _Only our alliance... so what is she thinking? That I will still turn?_ " Twice she ran to him like a good little apprentice, but that damnable light within her was going to ruin everything. He would be forced to snuff it out. To turn her or kill her. That was **if** she survived her most recent experiment into the dark side.

Rey's consciousness was stuck in an unending meditation, one of the first steps for a Master to prepare for becoming a Force Spirit. Kylo Ren looked into it, briefly, when he thought the knowledge could bring him closer to his grandfather. Her uncanny ability to project her mind must have been a by-product of Snoke's mental bridge; but what about Dantooine? He shook his head and forced the thought from his mind with a clipped sigh. He couldn't afford to waste time with the logistics of physical manifestations of her body. That was beyond any Jedi knowledge. It wasn't outside the realm of a Sith master though, just where did this potential of hers come from?

Once Kylo Ren boarded _The Finalizer_ his plans flowed freely through his underlings. He contacted _The Vengance_ orbiting Ryloth and promoted one of his Commanders to an acting General. He instructed her to investigate the summit Hux was attending in Lessu - learning quickly that General Hux did not report back to _The Cavalry_ and the local security forces were attempting to control a possible situation at the Taa manor.

This turn of events was not expected. The Resistance was supposed to be dealt a heavy blow that night, but only politically. All nobility that outed themselves in support for Resistance were to be marked for assassination. Additionally, the Taa's had taken a substantial loan from the Order in exchange for destabilizing General Leia Organa's position. Killing her was one way of getting the job done he supposed, albeit a very messy one. Kylo Ren expected to kill only a half dozen nobles at the end of the week, but now there was no one to kill. Everyone the Rebels had tried to recruit were already dealt with - he saw to that. The plan was the Resistance would starve and they would have to lean on Rey. She would be used desperately in some battle of his choosing where he would best her and give her one last choice to join him or die.

But Rey had simplified everything. She destroyed the last seed of the New Republic and any hope of the Resistance getting back on its feet. First by letting Kylo Ren access to her mind so he knew where she went recruiting, then by being too weak to contain her exceptional powers when tested. There was nothing left for her now but to join him.

The Captain of _The Finalizer_ came up to Kylo Ren as he was gazing out of the bridge. He saluted and waited at attention for the Supreme Leader to issue his commands now that they were approaching Ryloth.

"Captain Kenora. As soon as we exit light speed, send a message to General Noran that I want her to deal with Lessu's security teams. No one is to step foot into the Taa Manor until I get there." The threat of bodily harm should that order be defied was implied by his tone."I will take four Captains with me, our best field medic and a medical droid. Have them ready **now**."

"Yes Supreme Leader." Captain said calmly, before delegating the orders as Kylo Ren left the bridge.

* * *

Leia Organa had only been dead three hours when Rylo Ren entered the silence of the manor. Stormtroopers had detained any surviving staff the local police had rounded up for questioning. The main atria had only just been searched by the locals before General Noran intervened. The bloody boot prints on the marble still aggravated Ren, but he focused on the figures up on the stage, posed in a ghastly tableau.

Rey was shielding his mother with her body, her arms draped over her chest like she were a dancer and the music had just ended. He could see the burns on her body from Dantooine and smell the singed silk of her dress. As he crept closer, he noticed one of the pearled combs in her hair was missing. Kylo Ren wondered if it was somewhere in the wreckage of the farmhouse, now gleaming in the dawn. He knelt beside her and pulled at her bare shoulder to have a proper look at her. The soot made everything look worse than it was - he hoped. The evidence that she manifested herself across space was uncomfortably clear though. _What was she_?

He spared a moment to look down at his mother's face, cradled in the crook of Rey's arm. It tilted upwards so that the emptiness of her wide brown eyes were visible in the light of the chandeliers.

There was something in that last smile. It summoned a memory Ben thought locked in a dark chamber of his mind. His father's hands as they reached for his face before tumbling into the abyss. Now he imagined his mother doing the same and swallowed the lump in his throat. He couldn't say anything to her here. No sentiment. His officers were combing the bodies, confirming the dead. And emotional good-byes was not something a Supreme Leader would do.

He closed her eyes.

"There were a few survivors that were taken by the authorities. They are currently undergoing treatment in their hospice. Would you like them transferred to _The Finalizer_?" A lieutenant asked him from in front of the dais.

Kylo Ren shifted his mother's weight off of Rey's legs and lifted the girl from the ground. She was going to need some skin grafting on her calves, everything else would heal in time with some scarring.

 _Then we'll be a pair._

"How many survivors?" He asked calmly, checking Rey now that he had her in his arms. It looked like all the blood had come from his mother. His eyes lingered at her powdered face as he carried her off the stage. She would have been a sight at this meeting. Dressed up little Jedi girl, with those fierce eyes and sharp tongue. Is that why Arimatage Hux needed to call the shot? He let her slip under his skin like she did him? Did he instinctively know that someone like her could not exist in the same world as the First Order without one destabilizing the other?

"There are six survivors, one is a Resistance Pilot. The one that escaped us before." The lieutenant answered smartly.

At this Kylo Ren perked up. Of course that worm would still be alive. "Dameron."

"That is the one sir."

He thought about the implications of him being a hostage. Just killing him would satisfy some baser needs, but he might need something to manipulate Rey with. She was going to be stubborn.

"Bring Dameron on board. Leave these bodies." He paused and looked down at his mother. "Take General Organa. Transfer her to the medical bay." He could use her body as leverage, or mock the Resistance with it. At least that was what he told himself. "I need the medic I requested and the droid here now."

Within moments, the medic arrived out of breath and saluted. He was young. Was this really the best his new General could do?

Kylo Ren carried Rey over to one of the tables. Flies had started to gather around the spilled drinks and cold horderves. The medical droid was joining them as the medic followed, staring at the burns on the girl then the charred patches on the Supreme Leader. At least he had the intelligence to keep any conclusions to himself. The Sith's hands were full so he barked at the medic to clear the table.

"Aa, yes sir." He picked up a plate and moved it to another table and was about to repeat the motion before some hidden survival instinct told him he was seconds from having the life choked out of him. With one frantic movement, the medic removed the table cloth and its contents and dumped them unceremoniously on the floor.

Kylo Ren gingerly set Rey down. "In a moment, her body will be going into shock. I need her to survive it."

The medic stared up at him bewildered. Things were not clear at all, but he knew how to follow orders. He had seen more than enough force chokes to understand the situation he was in. "Yes sir."

He got the medical droid set-up to display Rey's vital outputs and started to take out his hypodermics. While he organized himself, his eyes scanned the girl. "With this amount of damage you should get her into a bio-tank as soon as you can. Infection is going to be an issue."

"No time." He reached out to connect with Rey's mind and recoiled when it felt like she was right in front of him. He whispered, dimly aware that the medic would be listening. "Come back, I have you _."_

 _She hesitated._

 _Did you see your mother Ben?_

Kylo Ren grimaced. Why must his patience always be tested? The medic reflexively backed away and looked up at the Supreme Leader with uneasiness.

"You can not afford to be stubborn now. Come back." He hissed, his hands suddenly on the table, clutching the edges to control his temper. When Rey did not respond he clenched his teeth. " _Yes._ I saw her."

 _Did you feel anything?_

"No."

She became visible to him, staring at herself on the table with concern. When she turned her eyes on him, he drew a breath and held it. It was the same look she had in the elevator. Certainty that he would join her. That he would bend at the words of a _nobody_ from Jakku. But this nobody was harder to hide the truth from when she was right in front of him. She knew that. But he knew her weaknesses as well. If she had any sense she wouldn't be risking her life for a conversation - _again_.

In the silence that streached between them, her voice slipped back into the tone she used when they first met. He wondered angrily if there was something in his features that made it easy for her to shout at him. " _Why do you lie to me still? I know your mind Ben. You cannot hide from me."_

The medical officer was starting to look uncomfortable. Kylo Ren didn't want to be distracted from his mental conversation so he waved a hand and turned the medic around. Ren closed his eyes, shutting Rey out of his vision, but he felt her still beside him - in him. A part of him wanted to destroy the body on the table to make this inquisition stop.

"I **feel** when I need to feel, and reap the convenience when I don't. The memory of her will be fuel for my abilities. It is my way and I will teach it to you. **NOW GET IN YOUR BODY!** _ **"**_ He hissed.

" _Ben. What happens when I do?"_

"You will join me. _"_

" _You know I will not."_

" **WHY NOT!?"** He shouted aloud and slammed his hands down on the table, causing the medical droid to let out an indignant whine and his medic to jump a good ten inches off the ground. Everyone else in the building knew the drill and paid their unstable leader no mind.

" _Because you still look at me and see my rejection. You want to cut me off from everything I love so you can turn me into **you**. But once in a while you see an exit, a way out. You know that I cannot be at your side until you stop wielding your past as a weapon and choose to accept it - like I have." _She leaned close, put a ghostly hand over his. " _Do you understand Ben?_ "

He did. Not fully, but he could see in her mind that he would never be a monster to her anymore. She accepted his past and no longer hated him for it. Kylo Ren knew this weakness existed when he murdered Han Solo. His father offered anything to end his suffering, his life included, therefore Kylo Ren never took it. He couldn't use the act to become a better Sith and Snoke knew it. Han's death was only valuable to Ben Solo. In that moment Kylo Ren was weakened because it fueled desperation, determination and love - the tools of a Jedi.

" _You are the balance Ben._ "

He blinked. She faded. The Medical Droid started wailing.

"She's going into shock!" The medic said dumbly as he whirled into action and injected something into her forearm. "I can get her blood pressure up, but it's going to put a strain on her heart."

Kylo Ren ripped himself away. He felt sick. He knew what he would have to do to turn her, but there would be no going back. "Let me know when she is in a state to be moved." He stalked off towards the exit, his eyes far away, plotting. Some officers were in the process of loading his mother's body on a stretcher. He passed General Hux's body on the ground and hesitated in his stride.

"You were right to try and kill her." He whispered to the broken corpse of a man he hated. Everything would have been much easier if he had just left her to die on Dantooine. "It seems we have made the same mistake." He resumed his journey back to his fighter and took off into the pre-dawn light.


	6. Extremus

**A/N:** Hello everyone. I hope you have been enjoying the story thus far. We have hit what is hopefully the half-way point for this tale. Up until now the rating hasn't quite deserved the 'M' I have given it, but this is where things take a turn. This chapter contains non-consensual sex and violence. If this makes you uncomfortable, please avoid this chapter.

* * *

 **.**

 **Chapter Six**

* * *

The first time Rey opened her eyes the pain was excruciating. She found herself half submersed in a viscous fluid, her body naked and raw. Everything felt wrong. The air in her lungs tasted metallic and her mouth was unbearably dry. She went to lift her hand and pull at the half-mask over her face, but agony like a hot knife raked over her skin. Rey was afraid to move. Where was she?

It was a struggle not to panic; her heart drummed a hummingbird rhythm. Fingers roamed over her chest, her throat, the glass. Her addled mind craved escape.

An unfamiliar face in a First Order uniform loomed over her. Rey couldn't read their expression through the glare, but she caught a glimpse of a jaw marred by recent scars. There were blue eyes - like a storm at sea. They hooked into her, summoning images of fire and smoke, and Rey screamed. The strange figure said something over their shoulder before Rey's eyes rolled back and she found herself locked in a dream.

* * *

A desert world unfolded before her; the stalls and huts behind her were full of people she didn't know. Rey circled, trying to get her bearings. Was this Jakku? The sky wasn't the right shade, nor the sun the proper size... or number. She removed her goggles, eyes searching for clues. She was distracted by a ship passing high overhead, an old 717-B Freighter. She salvaged one ages ago, breaking in some calluses wiggling out a nice conduction coil. Her eyes kept track of it as it neared the horizon.

Everything was familliar, yet unfamilliar.

A young man walked up to Rey while she was staring at the sky. His closeness made her wary and she took a step away.

"We need to talk." He said without looking at her.

"I don't talk to strangers." Rey said shortly. She gave him a suspicious glance before turning around and walking away. Her feet dragged through the sand for several meters before stopping in their tracks.

Rey had no idea where she was wandering off to.

This wasn't her world.

What the hell was she doing here?

Confusion set in and she twisted to eye the man she left behind with new interest. "Where am I?"

"Tatooine." He stepped towards her.

He spoke as if he knew her, and for a moment Rey thought he might. There was something in that face that reminded her of someone.

"Aa." Rey replied, having no frame of reference for that answer. She felt queer, like there was an epiphany about to dawn on her. She summoned the will to be social. "I... I don't know what I'm doing here." That sounded less awkward in her head.

"You don't know what you're doing _at all._ " He corrected, unkindly.

The shape of his mouth, as well as the way he stood... there was something about it. Cocky, like he was the only warrior in the room. Rey knew him from somewhere, but she was certain she would have remembered a man like him.

He noticed her staring and gave a slanted grin. "And you know nothing of regrets, consequences, monsters and men."

Rey had enough coded statements in the last month to span a lifetime and this conversation was becoming more convoluted the longer it lasted. She just wanted someone to speak to her plainly for once. "Who are you? What do you want?"

At this question he smiled, but there was no amusement in it. It was reflexive, aimed to mask what was within.

"Anakin Skywalker. This is a dream. You need help with my Grandson who has lost his way."

Rey put a hand to her mouth as she processed this information. That is why he seemed familiar. Before her was Luke's pensive brow, Leia's confident bearing and Kylo Ren's hawkish stare. This person was nothing like the Darth Vader she had imagined. Then again, Kylo Ren wasn't what she expected either when he took off his mask.

"You're Darth Vader. Leia's father."

He scowled and looked to his feet before answering. "Yes and no. It's complicated and we don't have much time. You need to understand before you wake, so hear me out."

Rey shook her head. "It's fine. I don't need your advice. I know what I have to do."

"No… you **don't**. Listen. My relationship with the Force is very similar to Ben's. He's teetering on the edge, and he is close to accomplishing what I could not - complete elimination of the Jedi Order."

Rey stared at him quietly, the desert wind tugging at her clothing. "You mean, kill me?" She cast her eyes away, quiet thoughts and old conversations rolling through her mind. Ben wasn't like that. He was misunderstood, just like she was. "He wouldn't."

"A pretty girl didn't work for me, and it's not going to work for him. It makes things worse… in the end." There was a shadow that passed over his face, one that stoked Rey's curiosity. "Love is an extremus emotion. It can rocket someone to either end of the spectrum when things start to unravel. Destiny is quick to make use of it, which is why I think you were born."

"You're speaking nonsense." She was uncomfortable, her body language showed it. What did any of this have to do with her? Kylo Ren didn't love her. He just wanted her for what everyone else wanted her for - her power.

A darkness stirred within her heart. She fought it. Her words were a lie and she knew it. The memory of his hand reaching out for hers was not for power. No. He was seeking her for something else.

"People are quick to love you, aren't they?" Anakin asked rhetorically. "And you love everyone you meet, even a man with only a drop of goodness in his heart."

"That drop is going to change _everything_." Rey countered stubbornly. "He is the head of the First Order, if I can make him see… help him accept the things he's done, we can turn everything around."

"You are so naive it _hurts_." Anakin sneered at her, his tone a little too familiar. "Love is blind Rey. You trust too much in that small fraction of a weak boy seduced by the dark side. You neglect the majority of the man, which was shaped with cruelty and hate. Evil elevates his abilities. Kindness is a weakness. I've been there Rey."

"Are you saying I should give up? Kill Kylo Ren?"

Anakin sighed darkly. "No. What I am saying is that it is not going to be easy."

Rey laughed sarcastically. "You think I don't know that?"

"Yes." Anakin walked towards her. "You think that once you accept him, accept his past, all of him - down to the blights on his soul, he will be able to love himself again. You think you can heal him."

She opened her mouth to speak, but then closed it. That was exactly what she thought.

Anakin slowly shook his head at her.

"He is torn between two sides and drawn to the end you stand on. He doesn't want to be weak, so he will choose to make you stronger by _his_ definition. He knows your intent and is preparing for it… but what are _you_ doing?" He gestured at her, disappointed. "You are the same as him. Easily manipulated. I know what he can do to you. What he _will_ do to you. I'm here to help you protect yourself."

Rey stepped back, "You're wrong about him… he's lonely… he's confused."

"You both let your emotions get the best of you." He frowned, expecting better. "Emotions drag you into the dark, and as I said before, love is the worst. To be a Jedi is to master your emotions."

"Emotion, yet peace…" Rey said quietly, quoting the beginning of a mantra she had read in one of the texts. She didn't like how uninformative the saying was. To her, peace _was_ an emotion.

"I became Vader because I was an awful Jedi. Be better than me, be better than Ben, be better than all of us." He said as Rey felt someone tug at her consciousness. She stared desperately at Anakin and he returned the stare in equal measure. He looked right through her, seeing all of her. There was a crushing sadness within him that resonated deep in Rey's core. As the sand swallowed them both, his dark eyes haunted her while the dream slipped away.

" _Wake up._ "

Rey opened her eyes, her thoughts slow as pitch. She felt a chair beneath her as she tried to move her limbs. Everything was heavy. The lights of the room blinded her. She hissed as she tried to sit up and look around. Did she have a concussion? She put a hand to her forehead. It took a full minute for her senses to catch up with her.

The room was abnormally quiet.

Rey raised her eyes and froze as she realized where she was.

The spartan nature of the room was chilling to her. There were two undressed beds, some storage areas between them and the chair she sat on; all in that awful glossy black that Finn complained about cleaning for hours. The huge wall in front of her was a spectacular view of a planet - or it would have been if Kylo Ren hadn't been brooding at it, his back to her.

He stood still as a statue, his hair framing a hollow face. It looked like he hadn't eaten in days. Rey knew he was troubled by something - tired eyes far away on the problem. The girl went to touch his mind, but couldn't. It was cold steel - impenetrable.

Minutes stretched by and Rey shifted, feeling the horrible wounds of her legs. Her breath caught in her throat, tears budding at the corners of her eyes, while she looked down. Her calves were covered in fresh bandages, but beneath it felt like someone had flayed her. Some of her fingers were pink and raw, most of her skin felt like it was scrapped away. She was wearing a dark grey medical gown that was more of an over-sized starched shirt pinned at the sides. She was thankful for the underwear.

"Ben…" Rey started, but was immediately cut-off by Kylo Ren raising a hand over his shoulder. He twisted his wrist and her throat constricted. In the movement, she found herself hoisted a fraction of an inch off the chair. It hurt.

"Quiet" he said, his voice low.

He continued to stare out the window while Rey struggled to breathe. What the hell was happening here? What was he thinking so intently about? What was she doing here? As she glared at him, her alarm was replaced by anger at her lack of answers.

This change made him turn to evaluate her.

The look in his eyes was something different; calculating, devoid of all emotion. "Anger, _so quickly._ Perhaps this won't be as difficult as I thought." He let her go, stepping towards her as she struggled to draw air back into her lungs.

"Ben, L- **Aa!** " She cried out as Kylo Ren lifted her out of the chair as easily as if she were a bag of laundry, and threw her at the far wall. She bounced off the empty shelving and skidded on her side. The hard contact of the floor split some of the fresh grafting done to her legs and made her joints scream. The pain robbed her of her ability to think, let alone speak.

"Every time you speak that name I will cut off one of Dameron's fingers." He crouched before her so that he could better see the effect of his words and actions. "We're at two so far. Eight left before I can move onto something more creative."

This wasn't right. This wasn't Ben.

Rey dragged herself back to the wall to keep some distance between her and Kylo Ren. She put her hands to her eyes to keep from crying. She was tired of it. Tired of all the hurt.

" _Why are you doing this?_ "

He stood and lifted her with the Force so that only her toes brushed the ground. It was like being in front of Snoke all over again.

"You need to learn. I tried to tell you. We could have spared all of this if you had listened to me…" There was, for a fraction of a syllable, a quiver in his voice. **Regret**. Rey heard it clear as day and didn't let it go.

He closed the distance between them and then pushed Rey against the wall. "Now I have to teach you."

"B-" She stuttered, before correcting herself. "R-Ren. You are not a monster. You were a _child_ … twisted by Snoke to do terrible things."

Kylo cocked his head, mouth twitching before he leaned in and whispered, "You're _wrong_."

Slowly he pressed his shin against hers, causing her to nerves to spasm and blood to blossom through the white of the bandages. "What do I have to do, to make you see that?" He drew back and searched her face for answers.

Rey could feel him curling into the edges of her thoughts. Desperately she drew on her fear to keep him out.

" _ **Good**_. **Yes.** That's how it's done." He smiled, but it was something freakish. "Fear is weak though, find something else." He pushed more brutally into her mind. " **More**."

She struggled, whimpering from the agony, but she found it easy to twist the pain into a tool. She shaped it into hate and directed it back at him like a weapon. The barrage against her thoughts retreated. Kylo Ren grinned in triumph and took a step away. "A _natural_. I knew it from the moment I first interrogated you. Rey… you and I could accomplish so much together, if you would only stop trying to undermine me."

"I'm trying to _save_ you." Rey shouted.

She was not here to be his plaything. Rey knew what she had to do - what she _needed_ to do to save everyone she cared about.

Kylo Ren cocked his head, curious as to what this girl intended to do.

Her emotions drew around her like a whirling blade, slicing Ren's hold on her and allowing Rey to stand on her feet. She slid into a defensive stance; legs apart, shoulders tucked in. She lifted her chin and regarded Kylo Ren like a target. "No matter what it takes, I _will_ save you from yourself…"

There was a shuttered breath before she threw out her arms in an attempt to blast Kylo Ren back against the curved glass of the window. He braced himself against her power, only sliding an inch. Rey's manipulation of the Force was tangled - the light of her intentions not interacting well with the will to hurt Kylo Ren.

She was unbalanced.

"You need to hate me or love me. It can't be both. There is far more of me to hate though Rey. Let me make it easier for you. Let me make you _stronger_." He rushed at her quicker than Rey could follow.

There was a knee to her abdomen before she could tighten her muscles for protection.

Kylo Ren felt the wind rush out of Rey as she fumbled to the floor. Rey curled in on herself, wheezing; reminding Kylo Ren of the girl he killed on Dantooine. He projected that memory into Rey's mind and tasted the beautiful cocktail of sorrow and betrayal he was looking for. The way she looked up at him from the floor fractured his heart and made him all the more committed.

" **Fight back.** " He spat, muscles rolling with adrenaline.

The balance of the Force twisted as Rey clenched her fists. Kylo Ren could feel the darkness gathering as it flowed through her. The girl propelled herself off the floor and into Kylo Ren with a banshee scream.

" **YES!** " Kylo Ren cried as she punched him in the face and then tried to bull rush him into the furniture. He was stronger than Rey and used her momentum to swing her over his shoulders and redirect her weight downwards. Her tailbone struck the center of the bed and broke it. The mattress absorbed most the blow and she recovered quickly. The skills from brawling with the locals on Jakku came back to her in a storm. She swung around and smashed her knee into the side of Kylo Ren's face. He sprawled to the ground, blood flowing freely from his nose.

With quaking arms, Rey scrambled out of the crater of the bed and limped for the door while her opponent was stunned. Unfortunately Ren was quick, and threw out a hand, tripping her with the Force. Rey was sent face first into the floor. Dizzy, she felt herself being dragged back towards Kylo Ren. She let out a sob and reached out for the exit, trying to grasp it with the Force and propel herself towards it, but Kylo Ren stumbled to his feet and grabbed her by the hair.

"You can't _run_. There's nowhere _to_ run. Even if you did escape, I would have your precious rebel pilot to cut to pieces." His breath was heavy from their fight and he grabbed Rey by the waist, pinning her to his hip in order to haul her back to the center of the room. His other hand let go of her hair.

"Ben _please_ … you can't do this… I _know_ you… I know what you become..." She writhed pathetically in his grip, tears streaming down her face. The words felt weak in her mouth. Where was that doubt of his? Where was the glimmer of Ben Solo she depended on?

"You were doing so well." He sighed in frustration. "I felt the hate within you, but you need to master it. Use it against me, not let it dissipate into… whatever this is." He dropped her to the floor and circled, coming around to the front of her as she uncoiled into a kneeling position. "All I see is _weakness_! Show me your **strength**!"

Rey put her hands on the ground, muscles twitching. She didn't know whether to be angry at Kylo Ren, or at herself for believing in him. Was there nothing to be redeemed?

"I don't think you hate me enough." He lifted her yet again and drew her close to his face. His mouth was spattered with blood from his broken nose, making him appear monstrous. "Let me see if I can change that."

Rey needed to believe there was something still within Kylo Ren left to save. Her resolve was waning. Everything had collapsed around her - Han Solo, Luke, Leia, the Resistance. It was just her and him now. Supreme Leader of the First Order and a Scavenger from Jakku with only the space of a finger between them. Faith kept her sane. Rey was convinced she wouldn't be here if there wasn't something she could do - some purpose for her to be alive.

Her destiny couldn't end here.

"You can't _make_ me hate you," she said, steeling herself against his presence. Anakin's warning was still fresh in her head. She needed to control her emotions or he would feed off them.

Kylo Ren clenched his fists as he sensed her perseverance. Despite scrapes from the floor and hair sticking wildly to her face, she was still standing. With every minute Rey was wearing down his energy with her endless spirit. Why couldn't she just _break_?

"What will it take?" He said softly, trying to assess her weaknesses. Once again, his gloved hand crept toward her face as he invaded her thoughts. He took his time going through the catalog of his atrocities in her memories. She had caged them, choosing to forget he was the enemy rather than attribute the evil to him. "Genocide, murdering children... what more do I need to do to make you _see_?" He narrowed his eyes, pushing deeper.

Rey tried to summon anything inside herself to resist, but there was nothing to use. She had no hope of beating him at this game.

 **No**. She couldn't think like that.

" _Get... out of my head!_ " She roared, but it had already opened like a flower beneath his touch. A terrible series of images emerged from Rey's psyche. Kylo Ren froze as they unraveled.

"Interesting." He said, face a mask as he examined the knot of tangled fears buried carefully at the girl's center.

Under anxieties about failure and destruction, there was a mix of visceral ache and perversion with his name on it. Ren rooted out it's origin, curious where the sexual aspect came from. He didn't think that she had ever thought of him that way.

 _Ah,_ it was born from the kiss that rattled Rey's teeth the night she felt what true power was. Now it twisted itself into something weird - want and unwant. Need and shame. She was vulnerable before him, with none of the love she had attached to him that night. She was scared about what he would do to her. How far he'd go. The carnal acts in her mind made him swell.

"I underestimated your imagination..." Slowly he lowered his eyes, hand grazing her hip. Beneath his touch her body jumped. "Very interesting."

Despite Kylo Ren's firm hold on her, Rey managed to kick out, aiming for sensitive areas of the flesh rather than mental. Kylo Ren was caught by surprise, for he was still mulling over her most intimate nightmares. He doubled over from the blow, cursing himself for dropping his guard. He took the pain of her strike and used it to immobilize her limbs before she could take further advantage. He was softly chuckling as he drew himself back up to full height.

"You're a fighter, but you gave me the key to your undoing." There was something manic in the way he moved. Ren circled before her, flexing his hold on her as if to test it. Rey felt like all the blood in her body was being squeezed to her head. Was he stalling? Rey was in no position to speculate. She knew what feelings he had uncovered and was feeling sick at the thought of him using them against her.

" **Say it.** Say your fear **.** "

Kylo Ren wanted her to to know that he controlled her fate. He needed the helplessness she felt to paralyze her body and soul. Her lips moved, but no sound came forth. She stretched the muscles in her neck to try and shake his unrelenting grip. Her spirit fractured beneath his power. _Good_.

Ren turned and walked over to the vacant chair. He lingered there, watching Rey struggle, before dropping his cape and working at the bindings of his shirt. Every move he made was slow, giving her time to digest the nightmare unfolding before her. He savored her eyes widening in fear as he stripped.

"No. You _wouldn't_." She wheezed, using the terror, using the sick feeling whirling in her stomach to contest his abilities. The effort was futile as he continued to undress, his nakedness causing her skin to flush with heat. Once his clothes were off, he made his way back to her. It was more than she could take. The girl took everything she had left and pushed it through his hold, body bowing with the will to resist his advances. " **STOP!** "

"I told you... fear isn't **good enough!** "

Both their influences on the Force snapped unexpectedly as they clashed with equal power.

Rey dropped into a defensive crouch as Kylo Ren went on the offensive. Instead of dodging his sudden lunge, Rey flattened out and whipped out her foot to trip him over her. She pushed against the ground to drive him up and over. She felt the weight of him slide down her back. He clipped the corner of the bed with his shoulder and rolled, clutching it protectively. Rey howled at the pain of using her leg as an obstacle against so much moving muscle, but she didn't have time to worry about twisted ankles. She threw herself as far away from Kylo Ren as she could, her eyes catching on his clothes. Did he bring his lightsaber?

She jumped to the chair as Rylo Ren stood and let out a roar that stopped her heart. She was mid-search of his uniform when he charged. The man moved with more dexterity than someone his size had right to. He slowed and followed his target as she tried to keep the chair between them. His swiping fingers grazed the neck of her medical gown, but Rey was quicker and she threw herself back. Every time he tried to grab her with the Force, she resisted just enough to stumble away and push back.

Something was wrong with his abilities, they weren't as strong as before.

Not that it mattered. Rey was running out of room to dodge. Soon she found herself backed into a corner, the edge of the bed against the back of her knees. She braced herself for any openings in his defense, but she was shaking so hard she couldn't focus.

He was a beast. Even naked he was indestructible. Nothing about this man was familiar to her anymore. This was not the person she spoke to in the rain or in the quiet of her room. This was not the man that screamed for her to get out of the fire. He was the sum of all the evil he had accumulated through the years. It was eclipsing the only hope she had of saving countless worlds. What was she going to do? What _could_ she do against _that_?

Kylo Ren walked up to her and she sobbed in despair.

He grabbed her arms. She fought with him, muscles taut against his grip, but he easily outmatched her. Ren twisted them behind her back so cruelly that she was forced to turn around lest they snap. He then kicked her forward so that her face and chest were pressed against the mattress. She tilted her head to cry out in protest, but Kylo Ren wasn't listening.

She tried to focus on the feeling of her arms being contorted in their sockets, and not on his other hand sliding her underwear down her thigh. Pitifully she tried to get her legs up on the bed to find purchase to push off of, but he took the time to deny her that defense. She tried not to think about the heat of him, or the humiliation she felt, or the absolute hopelessness of her situation. She tried not to think at all, but then he leaned in, Rey could feel the shape of him against her. It sent a paralyzing jolt up her spine.

"This is going to hurt."

The sudden softness of his voice shocked Rey, but the pain of him entering her shocked her even more. Her choking cry was cut off by him pushing her further into the mattress so it was a contest to move away from his violations or suffocate in the sheets. Her thoughts were slow, jarred by his roughness. She tried to focus on that brief note of doubt she detected earlier, but drowned instead in what was happening. Every thrust was felt like pinning blades in her shoulders, knees and pelvis. Her senses became overloaded and her mind shut down.

Time and space blew apart.

Rey was in front of the mirror in the dark pit at Ahch-to. There was no pain, no fear, no darkness. There was just her many reflections, bent over, tears glistening in rumpled hair, clothes gathered up to her waist. She looked at herself and saw pain. She saw helplessness. Sickness. She stared, impassive, until her reflections looked up at her in series. There was still hope. She saw it.

Kylo Ren naked and ashamed. Kylo Ren in as much pain as she was; trapped in a mask he still wore even though he thought it destroyed.

There was a way out.

Rey closed her eyes and the reflections closed theirs.

" _There is no emotion, only peace._ " She murmured and heard her other selves murmur echo like a choir.

Kylo Ren stopped.

" _There is no ignorance, there is knowledge..._ " The words came unbidden to her mouth and she opened her eyes. There was no mirror. There was only her and the terrible calm that shattered all of her fears.

She saw into Kylo Ren's mind as clear as glass. The acts unfolding brought no pleasure for either of them. He loathed himself deeply, but as saturated as that hate was - he reached his limit. The only thing he could do was draw strength from _her_ hate - but it wasn't there. Rey chose a different path. **Forgiveness**.

Rey felt it then. When the word splashed across her mind and into his. The hate falling in on itself like a black hole absorbing everything, but it couldn't absorb her. Emotions rolled off her like ink over wax.

" _There is no passion, there is serenity._ "

Kylo Ren dropped her arms and pulled away as if burned. He could sense the Force roaring through Rey as she slowly lowered her arms and hugged herself, shuttering from the echoes of pain. In a daze she unfolded, gingerly rolling in to a position where she could rise.

Ren was in arms reach, uncertain, confused. He looked down at her as if she were an anomaly. It was the same expression that caught her while she stumbled out of the burning farmhouse. She raised her chin and looked back at him - _through_ him. She was a sun, burning through his mind.

" _There is no chaos, there is harmony._ " Their minds bridged like a tsunami engulfing a beach. Rey had emptied her mind and let Kylo Ren flow through. All of him. The dark, the light, the vile, the sacred.

The man fell to his knees, unable to bear the heavy mantle of his hate anymore. It poured from him, slipping from his fingers like sand to rest at Rey's feet.

Ren hadn't slept or eaten for days when he realized what was needed to break her. He knew the only obstacle between him and ultimate power was his doubt. It needed to be cut from him before Rey latched onto it and held it tight to her chest. He knew from the moment he kissed her that her love would be his undoing. It was the balancing point between them. It frightened him that she was capable of ruining everything he had accomplished and more. So he meditated. Killed. Mutilated. Did everything he could to blacken the heart within him - to have the strength to beat this girl into submission. He only needed to smother the coals of his heart for **one** night.

Blindfolded she still buried deep, found a dying ember, then blew life in it to start an inferno.

How? How was this _possible_? Was it his weakness, or was it her strength?

" _There is no death... there is the Force._ "

The power he craved turned against him. Guided this child of light into his life to pull the world out from under him. Tears poured from his eyes, leaving trails in the drying blood. He balled his hands into fists and pounded the floor. " **NO!** You cannot do this to me... you can't!"

"Yes." Rey said quietly. "I can."

"No…" He looked up at her. "You cannot forgive this."

"I can."

His features looked wracked with agony as he slid his hands down his face. He had done too much. All of it would mean nothing if he turned back now. He had told himself that the lives he had taken would be worth it if he became a god among men. "No… **_I_** can't forgive this."

"Please." Rey's composure cracked and she choked through the tears. "I need you to."

He was quiet.

In the wake of what had happened between them, their minds caressed each other and Kylo Ren felt Rey's need like a supernova. It superseded his feelings of self-loathing, of purpose, of grief. She needed to be held. To be told that everything was going to be all right. He wasn't sure that he could do those things. He wasn't sure if he should be the one doing them.

He stood, unsteady, and moved towards her. Rey didn't flinch, and for that he was grateful.

Cautiously, he sat down next to her and stared at the ceiling.

"I'm a monster."

"You are." She started to shake again.

Hesitantly, he pulled her into his arms, careful of her wounds.

Rey let him hold her, trembling from the shock of what had happened. "I don't want to be alone. I don't want to feel like _this_. It is cold... empty. I want _joy_ … _love_ … I want **hope**." She croaked, burying her face into his chest.

"I know. I did too." He whispered, eyes on the ceiling as he tore himself apart.

" **Do**. You **_do_** too. I can feel it." Rey put a bloody hand over his heart.

He held her tightly, the warmth between them soothing after all that he had put them through.

His life, Rey's life, it had culminated in a fever that could only be broken in this way. They wrapped around each other, skin to skin, mind to mind. All hurts dissolved for that moment. Nothing in the past mattered. Death. Life. Violence. Kindness. Those would always exist. Dark and Light, Good and Evil, these were not things you could eradicate.

Kylo Ren could never be Ben Solo, and Ben Solo could never be Kylo Ren.

For the first time in his life. Ben understood.

For the first time, he felt balanced.


	7. Balance

**.**

 **Chapter Seven**

* * *

Jakku's two moons loomed high, hanging as crescents, bright against the star rippled sky. Rey and Ben sat side by side, leaning against the half-submerged knee of her AT-AT home. They stared up at the stars, too aware of the other's presence. Both of them knew this was an illusion, the recent memories of their fight too fresh to ignore.

"Are we... sharing a dream?" Rey said, looking to Ben for anything that would betray that he was just a ghost of her subconscious.

Kylo Ren took in the scene, ignoring her question as if the answer was obvious. That was evidence enough for Rey.

"Is this Jakku?" he asked with interest. The last time Kylo Ren was here, his mask prevented him from taking in the scenery. Not that there was much to take in - a burning village and screaming people. He couldn't remember the last time he set foot on a planet that didn't result in a dozen corpses. Pillio, Jakku, Takodana, Dantooine… the horrors all bled into eachother after awhile.

"My home." Rey curled her legs under her and lifted her chin to look up again at the sky. Even though it was a dream, she could clearly recall the feeling of her back against the still warm metal of her residence. It made her melancholy. "Or it was my home. It is strange. Here I would dream of oceans, now I'm dreaming of desert worlds."

While Rey's eyes were filled with starlight, Ben was looking at the glow from the AT-AT. Was this piece of junk really called a home? A jawa wouldn't consider this worth a second look. He rolled to his feet and moved to the hole in its chassis that served as an entrance. It had no door. How was this girl was still alive?

"Hey! That area is _private_!" Rey scrambled to her feet and followed the man's disappearing back.

There was very little inside; a hammock, some chests full of junk, a wall of markings that made Kylo Ren feel uncomfortable. He wandered around, earning an indignant remark from Rey. When he picked up a bundle of rags shaped to be humanoid, Rey grabbed it out of his hands and threw it back to its shelf.

"Is it too much to ask for a bit of respect? You may be Supreme Leader, but if you want us to work together, you need to stop acting like you own everything."

Kylo Ren's gaze was stuck on the wall of markings. "You scratched one for every day they left you here?" He was startled by her dedication. His fingers brushed the last few scores. "Why? Would there ever be a point where there would have been too many? Where you would have given up and walked away?"

Rey didn't meet his eyes. She didn't know the answer to that question. It still felt sore where she ripped out her hopes and dreams of having a loving family. She wanted to be _found_. To have somewhere she belonged. Leia and the Resistance felt so close… but now Leia was dead, and the Resistance in pieces. The only other place that felt right was beside Ben Solo… but he was Kylo Ren. Rey was struggling to cope with that. Forgiveness in a moment was easy. Forgiveness while he repeated mistakes would be much harder.

Kylo Ren frowned, understanding her lack of answer. Rey had been trapped here by the hope her parents would return. He too had been trapped; only he broke his bonds in blood and battle while destiny had intervened for her, nudging her into the narrative.

Rey touched the wall, her hand next to Kylo Ren's. Her stubbornness faded into curiosity. "Would you have walked away? If you were me?"

"Obviously." Kylo Ren said darkly, before realizing how such an reply may have sounded to Rey. He didn't correct himself or apologize. They both knew he wasn't the most empathetic of individuals. Despite this, Kylo Ren tried to find something in his life that was similar to hers to explain his answer.

"I held onto the hope of following in my father's footsteps for longer than I should have." He started, opening the wounds of his past he thought long buried. "He was freedom, while my mother was always chained to politics. They were so different I often wondered how I ever came to be." Kylo Ren slid his hand down the wall before moving around the room. As he spoke he touched things, searching through shelves and piles of junk for anything interesting. These were Rey's memories in solid form - or as solid as a dreamscape could get.

"From the moment I was conceived my mother knew I was different - more than force-sensitive. _Special._ As a boy I struggled with it. I could do things others couldn't. See and hear things that others shouldn't. I was curious about the limits of my abilities..." He found a heat-ray in a drawer and tested it. The flame flashed white. He turned it off and carried it back to the wall of hash-marks where Rey stood.

"I created a lot of trouble. Pushing my will onto others, picking up thoughts of my mother's friends and speaking them out loud. It was fun to me - but a sign of bad things to come for everyone else. I felt their fear, but I didn't know why it was there. I was so alone." He handed the torch to Rey.

"A voice started to whisper to me, much like yours did." He said that last bit quietly, betraying some of the initial wonder he had when they first met mind-to-mind. "Snoke of course. He didn't fear me like everyone else did. He thought my abilities _precious_. He wanted to teach me how to use them. It was the greatest moment of my life." He paused, savoring the memory. "There was someone out there like me, someone powerful. I wanted to meet him. To learn from him. I had hoped you felt the same when you met me." He met Rey eyes.

She withdrew, shaking her head, "I knew evil when I saw it. I wanted nothing to do with the Force then."

"My face remembers it differently." He moved his jaw, wondering if he could still feel the healing skin there. "You channeled the force so easily; I am still tempted by your potential, But you wanted _answers_ , not power. I know that now. My mother saw the thirst in me and sent me away, hoping that I would learn control."

He started to pace, the words flowing as if a dam had burst within him.

"So much happened so quickly. I fought to stay at home, but it didn't matter what I wanted, my future was decided. I was to be a Jedi whether I liked it or not." He had never spoken this way about his past. It was… freeing. Like the shadows of his past were being let out of him.

"Early in my training my mother retired as senator, I had to learn through gossip that it was because her father, my grandfather, was Darth Vader. A secret they kept hidden from me." He tensed. "I spent so many nights wondering why they didn't tell me! No one talked to me even after I discovered it and starting asking questions. It was obvious once I matured enough to grasp it. **FEAR!** " He shouted angrily, punching the wall. The dent warped the marks beneath his knuckles and Rey let out a cry. She dropped the heat-gun and grabbed Kylo Ren's arm. "Ben _don't!_ "

Kylo Ren retracted his arm and took a deep breath. "Do you know what it's like!? Having everyone you care about terrified of you!? They were afraid that I would turn into him. Afraid I would turn against them." He clutched his chest as if it would soothe the ache there.

"Snoke told me of my Grandfather's power. Told me that fear was only misguided jealousy. He said I could be stronger than Darth Vader - achieve anything I wanted to. I believed it. But what about everyone who loved me despite the fear? My father. My mother. I knew she meant well, sending me off to her brother to save my soul, but mysticism never hooked me the way Snoke's promises did. Jedi weren't allowed to _love_ , weren't allowed to _hate_ , weren't allowed _anything_ but blind obedience. How was that the right? I loved my family. They were the only thing keeping me from turning to Snoke. I would lose their love either way. I was again… alone."

He felt Rey's hands still on his forearm, shifting now to take his hand. He surprised himself by allowing it.

"My uncle knew the conflict in my heart. He knew who I would become, and instead of showing me compassion, he tried to cut me down."

This part of the story they both knew - but from different perspectives.

"He didn't! He thought about it… but wasn't going to go through with it…" Rey tried to explain.

Kylo Ren shook his head. "It doesn't matter. I had enough. I wouldn't let anyone weigh my life based on potential futures. I decided I would destroy the Jedi order - and I thought I had. Rumours of Luke's survival spread and Snoke helped me finish what I started."

Rey pitied him and Kylo Ren sensed it. A moment of silence spread between them and it turned cold. They both knew each other's past and present, but what about their future? What could they do now?

Kylo Ren picked up the heat ray from where Rey dropped it and shoved it back into her hands. "Melt the wall. Every mark."

"What? Why?" The suddenness of this request had her reeling. She looked to years of daily ritual, all her tiny slivers of hope cut carefully into the metal. She knew it amounted to nothing, but part of her heart was still there. "I don't want to. This is just a dream… none of it matters."

"If it doesn't matter. **Do it.** " He glared at her.

"You can't keep telling me what to do!" She threw the heat-ray at him and stormed out the door.

Kylo Ren glanced at the gun that bounced off of him and to the floor, before following Rey into the night. He was angry at her stubbornness. "All the years you spent waiting for _nothing_. You can't throw it away any more than the years I spent working for the First Order!" He argued, spinning her around by the shoulder. This earned him a slap from Rey which shocked him into a statue.

"I'm not waiting anymore! But what are _you_ doing!?" Rey shouted, pushing at his chest fiercely. "You're still torturing and raping to get what you want! What now Ben? Neither of us got what we wanted. We're still in the middle of a war neither of us care about!"

Kylo Ren let her words wash over him. The sting of her physical excursions not phasing him in this dreamscape. Her outburst was well warranted, but he didn't agree with her statement.

"I don't believe that is true." His voice turned softer, more thoughtful. He took Rey's hand, earning a suspicious glance. He held it up between them, tired eyes on her small fingers enveloped in his. "I think we both got exactly what we wanted."

A jolt went through Rey and she threaded her fingers into his. Neither of them were alone anymore.

"But how are we going to stay together when we are on opposite sides of a battlefield?" She whispered, unsure. The girl took a hesitant step towards Ren and was brought the rest of the way by his arm around her waist. It felt right. His embrace was strong and she took solace in it. She tilted her head to look up at him and found his face pensive. He didn't know the answer to her question any more than she did.

"We'll think of something." He peering down at her, taking in the paleness of her face in the moonlight. There was a beauty there he never bothered to look for before. "There is no simple solution."

Rey reached up and touched his face where the scar ran red against his skin. "I can't leave my friends to die…"

He closed his eyes against her touch. "I know."

When he opened them again. She wasn't there.

* * *

The automatic lighting system kicked in at full brightness, illuminating broken furniture, blood splatter and discarded clothing. Kylo Ren winced and went to shield his face with his arm, but a soft weight had it pinned to his side. The recollection of last night's events flooded his thoughts and he looked down. Rey was sleeping, curled tightly beside him.

Ren stared at her, taking in the damage to her body. Between the burns, the swelling, the bruises and the cuts, there were few parts of her that wouldn't require medical attention. Hesitantly he hovered his hand over her shoulder, unsure of what to do. He didn't want to wake her. He didn't want to meet those eyes after everything he had done. So he retracted his hand and took a moment to watch her sleep.

How had this girl crippled hi? Because of her, his Sith training was gutted by guilt. How was he to function normally without a well of agony to draw upon? Now his thoughts were stuck to this naive, neonate Jedi. Her opinion of him _mattered_ and it scared the hell out of him. He only felt that way when kneeling in front of Snoke.

Kylo Ren suppressed his feelings. If he appeared weak as a leader, he would be replaced. He was no fool and knew that his hold as Supreme Leader was temporary, but he had hoped to eradicate the Resistance before bureaucracy put a chain on him. Now he wasn't sure of his path. Rey found her place, but at the cost of his.

Carefully, he slid from the bed and gathered his clothes. His skin held a mix of stale sweat and blood. He tried not to think about how much of it was his and how much of it was Rey's.

While he dressed, the girl stirred. Her movements creating gasps of pain. Kylo Ren put on his cloak, his stomach churning, as her eyes fluttered open in a panic. Her gaze darted around before resting on the Supreme Leader.

They stared at each other for a long moment.

Neither wanted to reach out and sense what the other was feeling. The gravity of the situation was too much to process even after their shared dream. Too much had changed too quickly.

Kylo Ren retreated to the window to think. After a moment he curled his fingers into fists.

"You need to get off this ship." He said without looking at her.

Rey staggered to her feet, collecting her underwear from the floor. Kylo Ren watched her, waiting for the moment where she would breakdown and start yelling, crying, hating him for what he had done to her. It didn't come.

Why forgiveness?

Kylo Ren started to pace, "You will have to escape on your own, but I can make things easier for you." He was unable to keep the worry from his features as he thought tactics. "I can give you my saber, you can take out your escort in the detention block and rely on Dameron to get you to the fighters. He's familiar with the route." He trailed off disdainfully.

"Ben… Come with us." Rey asked, catching his sleeve as he passed.

"Don't be stupid." He spat, before stopping himself. He was quick to anger, for his heart felt like it was in a hurricane. He forced his voice softer for her benefit. "I am more useful to you here."

She shook her head. "You don't belong here."

"I don't belong with the Resistance either." He said quickly. "I blew up your base on Debron while you were healing."

Rey recoiled as if punched. Her face went pale at the the thought of Maz, Chewy… _everyone_ being dead.

"It was abandoned before we got there. My father's ship was not among the wreckage." Kylo Ren added as gently as he could.

It was very difficult to keep the anger out of her voice, so Rey didn't try. "Would it have mattered? You would have destroyed it anyway." She turned her back to him, shoulders hunched and shaking. Finn was there. Did they all make it out?

"What is done is done." He said simply, as if that would make Rey feel better. "You need to find the Millennium Falcon and recover."

Rey fell silent yet again and limped to the chair to use it as a crutch. Kylo Ren busied himself with fashioning a bootlace around his lightsaber. Rey watched, liking his plan less and less. "My leg may be broken and I feel like I'm going to be sick… I don't think I'll make it to my cell, let alone the Falcon."

Kylo Ren came to her side and slid a guiding hand around her waist. "You will. We need to move quickly. My men will try to take you to a holding cell. When you get to Dameron you need to dispose of the guards and escape however you can. My fighter will be the best option since no one will be able to match it's speed."

"I'm in no condition to fight Ben! If you want me off this ship you're going to have to take me yourself." Rey said stubbornly, not wanting to let Kylo Ren out of her sight lest he wrap himself back in his cloak of darkness.

Ren ignored her last statement and put his lightsaber around her neck. Her medical gown had no pockets. Hopefully her escort wouldn't notice the obvious bulk of it under the stained fabric. He then pushed her gently into the sloped mattress they destroyed yesterday during their fight. "You know that isn't going to happen. Stay alive Rey; let that idiot's ability to survive keep get you clear of this place. I will contact you once you are safe." His fingers lingered as if to graze her chin, but he left abruptly for the exit.

Rey sat up and called after him, but he didn't turn his head. The doors opened and shut with a snap behind him.

Four Stormtroopers entered minutes later. As soon as they crossed the threshold they were stunned into silence by the wreckage of the room. Shelving units were in pieces, there were drops of blood on the floor, walls and bed. Their masks eventually focused on Rey and hesitated, unsure if she were going to be combative.

The soldiers looked at each other before two of them pulled Rey to her feet. She whimpered, everything hurting. Her lower leg could not support any of her weight. They half-carried her out into the hallway, then dragged her down two floors to a darkened corridor.

The whole journey Rey could feel Ren's saber bouncing beneath her gown. It was a wonder they didn't see it. Rey sensed that they wanted to be as far away from her as they could. Their helmets never tilted her way. They knew of her abilities from her last escape - which is probably why there were four of them. If she mind-tricked one, the other three could take her out.

As they cleared the main checkpoint to the detention block, Rey was ready to pass out. How was she going to duel four Stormtroopers when she was half-dead? If she could free Dameron first she might have a fighting chance. Their pace slowed as they passed empty cells. Rey's eyes were seeking out any shape that could be Poe.

She found him in the last cell, his face near the bars to get a good look at who was approaching. He lit up when he saw Rey and shouted her name.

It was now or never.


	8. Freedom

**.**

 **Chapter Eight**

* * *

The floor was covered in sweat and smudges from countless sessions of exercise. Poe could see the condensation of his breath with every push off the floor; his arms burning from the strain of completing another set. The routine was keeping him sane in an endless bout of restlessness. He hated feeling caged. Finding himself back in the clutches of the First Order was a blow to his morale he didn't think he'd ever experience again.

Exhaustion set in and Poe rolled over, slick and gasping. Now was when he liked to pass the time by coming up with elaborate schemes for escape.

The problem was none of them would work.

The bars were secure - he checked a dozen times. The bed was a bare mat of some synthetic material - highly uncomfortable. Poe had complained about it when his wardens were zapping him with their current brand of torture stick. Apparently they didn't take constructive criticism well. The only other feature of his cell was his toilet, which was a hole in the floor that no sentient species could fit through. Any tools that could have been be useful were taken from him on Ryloth. Not very polite, though that seemed to be the theme the First Order was going for.

The pilot ran his hands up his face and then into his hair. What was he going to do? He doubted that there were any deserting Stormtroopers willing to spontaneously rescue him, but what about a rescue from the outside? Nah, that would be a waste of resources, which they did not have in the first place. He was on his own.

There was no way to keep track of the time.

Poe was going mad.

Ryloth felt like weeks ago. The pilot wondered if it were only days. So far, this vacation consisted of a torture session, followed by a Kylo Ren mind invasion, followed by more torture, then finally the silent treatment. He had six meals wheeled to him by droids since he last got poked in the ribs with a cattle prod. Was that a meal a day? Two? He only knew that it wasn't enough. He was always hungry.

No plans. The Resistance was in dire straits. The General was likely dead. This was bad. Really bad.

Poe couldn't give up. He was still breathing, which meant he was still thinking. He knew he could weasel out of this situation. He would just need to wait for the right opportunity to present itself.

And there it was.

The sound of approaching people made Poe sit bolt upright from the floor. Was it going to be another torture session? He didn't have any more information to give anyone. Poe couldn't hide anything from Kylo Ren, though he tried till his nose bled from the effort. Maybe the officers were bored like he was? Or maybe it was time to dispose of him.

Five figures were coming up the corridor. Two troopers in front, another two flanking a woman. Another prisoner?

No... _it was Rey_.

" **REY!** " He yelled, scrambling to the bars to get a good look at her face. He could barely recognize her with her matted hair and bandaged skin. At the sound of her name, her eyes snapped up to meet his. It was like lightning struck him. There was something different burning within her - a desperation that he couldn't grasp. His mouth fell open to say something else, but what she did next stole the words from out of his mouth.

With a passionate howl, Rey threw out her chest and rocketed the two troopers in front of her forward. The two that were bracing her stumbled back from the backlash, and Rey nimbly used the momentum to swing her legs forward, then over her head in a somersault. The troopers chose to drop her rather than lose their balance. In the seconds they saved, the soldiers drew their weapons. At the same moment Rey drew something else from under her medical gown.

The familiar sizzle of energy and redness of the blade surprised everyone.

"What… the…" Poe said dumbly - for once a spectator in a brawl. How the hell did Rey get Kylo Ren's lightsaber?

The confusion didn't last long as two of the Stormtroopers started to back down the hallway using suppressive fire. Rey wasn't skilled enough to reflect the shots, so she chose to keep low and dodge instead. Poe cheered her on until she moved in front of his cell, including him in the line of fire.

" _Hey hey **hey**_! Fish in a barrel here!" He dived under the bunk for a little cover while Rey clumsily sliced through the bars and freed him. Meanwhile, the Troopers made it most of the way down the corridor and were holstering their weapons to expedite their retreat. The remaining two advanced.

"Rey **watch out**!" Poe shouted, noting that her footwork was sloppy. She looked like a puppet held together by prayer. She wasn't going to hold out for much longer against trained soldiers with her guard down like that.

A blaster managed to graze the girl's shoulder, causing her to scream and nearly drop the saber. In a simmering fury, she reached out with the force and grabbed the enemy that shot her, chucking him into the other like he were a figurine. They both clattered into a twitching heap.

It was Poe's time to shine. The pilot vaulted through the still glowing exit Rey had cut for him. With an improvised flying kick, he attacked the writhing pile and stomped some wrists to earn himself a pair of blasters. He grinned in triumph as he leveled them at the pair of troopers. "Not your lucky day my friends." He turned to Rey who was clutching her cauterized shoulder.

"You okay back there?"

Rey let out a shuttered breath. Her latest actions aggravated her leg, and now her shoulder was spasming in agony. She couldn't get from her half-kneel to a standing position. "The other two…" She wheezed.

Poe whirled around and took a second to aim. He fired a single shot and downed one of the troopers at an impressive range, just before the other turned the corner. "Shit. I only got one. The other is going to raise the alarm. We need to book it." He returned to covering the disarmed duo.

"I can't move…" Rey's voice was faint and slightly hysterical.

Poe looked to the other two troopers that he had at gunpoint. "I have an idea."

* * *

Kylo Ren longed for a sanisteam. Unfortunately corporate obligations awaited him the moment he parted from Rey. In the hallway, General Noran shifted to attention the moment she identified the Supreme Leader's silhouette. She had been waiting for him to finish his extended ' _interrogation_ ' of his prisoner - for how long Ren didn't want to know. She was quick to catch him up to speed with the galaxy, making her way down a clipboard of events with expertise.

None of it was good news.

The trouble at Ryloth was starting to surface in a series of political incidents. Armitage Hux's death sent ripples of instability throughout the First Order ranks; their shareholders were similarly not happy. Kylo Ren knew he was never going to win any popularity contests. It was widely known that he had his own agenda, which was fine when Snoke or Hux could forward the First Order's objectives without hindrance. But now their direction was uncertain with a unstable Sith at the helm.

Despite their strong opinions, no one wanted to be the one to try and tell Kylo Ren what to do, so administration was at a standstill. This suited the self appointed Supreme Leader. It gave him time to think.

The New Republic was whipped into a frenzy once they realized a large chunk of their leaders were decimated in an unknown attack. Most their fingers were pointing at the First Order. Kylo Ren didn't know if he wanted to correct them or not.

"There are rumors that a mercenary army is forming." General Noran mentioned, trying to keep pace with the long limbed Supreme Leader.

"First the Rebellion, then the Resistance… what will they call themselves this time?" Kylo Ren hissed. He didn't need any more enemies to contend with.

"They are retaliating for Ryloth." Noran stated what Ren already knew, making his eye twitch. None of the First Order understood what had happened there, and none of their investigations could come to any reasonable conclusions. For once, their ineptitude was soothing. They didn't know the extent of Rey's powers. If they did, the First Order wouldn't let her live.

"We believe that instead joining the Resistance, the last of the Resistance has joined this new army." Noran added.

"Who is leading them?" There were very few left that could. Maz Kanata was Kylo Ren's first guess, but that woman didn't like to go all-in when it came to war. She was a survivalist, like Ren's father.

"Ezra Bridger, sir."

This made Kylo Ren slow his pace. General Noran stumbled into him and then backed away horrified. Ren didn't seem to notice as he fell deep in thought. The memory of a young girl's screams echoed about his mind made him wince. He shook his head to dispel the sound, cursing Rey for ripping down the shielding around his heart.

Ezra was a Force-user and a talented one. Kylo Ren had thought him dead since he had disappeared over twenty years ago. If he had heard even a whisper of that man, Ren would have had him assassinated.

This was a bad turn of events.

"Has he attempted to contact us?" He resumed his briskness, entering the bridge and earning several harried glances.

"Yes sir. He sent a recorded hologram requesting a meeting last night. We have sent no response. Do you wish to?"

"Yes. Set up a meeting. I do not care where, as long as its soon. The usual terms." No weapons, no shows of force, no long winded diatribes. He doubted Bridger would follow them.

The General nodded and scurried away to make the necessary preparations. Kylo Ren wondered if his choice to replace Hux with this glorified secretary was too obvious. Noran seemed more suited towards being an executive assistant rather than a General.

The rest of the bridge crew were eerily silent. Kylo Ren turned to a helmsman, "Prepare to leave orbit and set a course for Lothal."

The Helmsman did as ordered, sending the crew into a flurry of movement.

Kylo Ren stared out the bridge window, feeling the subtle changes in vibrations as the engines began to change over. The trip should only take ten minutes, enough time for his prisoners make their way to the docking bay. Lothal would be a good place for them to make a break away. If Ezra Bridger was leading this new hybrid army, then it was likely that it would be amassing somewhere in Lothal's system. Bridger would like to stick to familiar territory.

It surprised Kylo Ren that Ezra would even bother trying the diplomatic route. The Supreme Leader closed his eyes and recalled the face of a young dark haired girl with a coy smirk and deep set brown eyes. The last time he saw her she had been screaming as he dropped a building on her.

Ezra Bridger's daughter had been one of Luke Skywalker's favorite students.

* * *

For combat armor, a Stormtrooper's uniform was not very mobile. It was quick to put on however, though Poe had to assist Rey while trying not to stare at parts of her. It was difficult considering how distracting her wounds were. He felt sick imagining the First Order using fire to extract information. There was also some telling marks on her arms that made him wonder how far they went... and if she was still the same girl he left on Ryloth.

Poe was poor crutch for Rey, but they managed to hobble down the corridor. She was slowing them down so much that he debated throwing her over his shoulder, but he didn't want to fight with her over it. From his experience, girls of her caliber generally balked at that sort of thing.

As they rounded the corridor, two First Order officers and three Stormtroopers leveled blasters at them.

Poe kept walking. Confidence was key for dramatic escapes.

"We managed to subdue the prisoners, but not for long!" He shouted, hoping that they wouldn't look at how loose the armor was on Rey. "If anyone needs them alive, you'll need to send down a medical droid." He wasn't exactly lying. The Stormtroopers they stripped had taken some hard blows in the head to keep them down.

The group lowered their weapons and started working out who would go check on the crazy Jedi and pilot, and who would be the ones to tell their superiors what happened. Poe passed them, picking up the pace. He needed to get out of the detention block before the Troopers found their naked comrades in an unconscious pile.

Rey was slipping at his side.

"C'mon girl, you got more salt and vinegar in you yet." He whispered loud enough to be heard over the shouts behind them.

Rey took several shallow breaths to try and fight the urge to sink to the floor and give in to the blackness creeping in at the edges of her vision. "You should go… he won't kill me… but he might kill you. Take his fighter... he said he made it easy..." She tried to shake Poe off, sliding to her knees, but this only made him strengthen his grip.

Poe looked around. The narrow maintenance hallway they found was deserted. He pulled Rey up and leaned her against a wall. "Fuck that. I'm not leaving you behind." He watched as her helmeted head rolled back and she slumped in his arms.

"HEY!" He jumped at his own voice, then shushed himself and shook the girl. " _Hey…_ I know you've been through a lot, but neither of us is going to make it if you doze off on me. I'm going to carry you okay? What were you saying about a Fighter?" He tried to coax her to stay awake, but she was at her limit.

"His fighter… ready to go… you need to take it."

Poe raised an eyebrow, his eyes flickering to the saber at her side. "Are you talking about Kylo Ren's silencer?" He didn't understand, but they ran out of time. He heard an alarm blaring from the nearby detention block. "Shit. Hold on Rey. We're getting out of here." He hoisted her over his shoulder, the armor making things awkward.

He jogged down the maintenance hallway and came out near engineering. Poe knew most the schematics for the basic ships in the First Order fleet, but that information was only handy if you knew where the hell you were going. Was he facing the bow, or was he coming from the port side? He circled around, some officers giving him a weird look for having a trooper slung over his shoulder.

"Escaped prisoners!" He said loudly once he sensed that he reached the threshold of suspicion. "Keep an eye out for two Resistance fighters! They were last seen slipping out of the detention block." He hurried along, their eyes now in the direction he came from.

Security was tighter nearer the hangar bays now that the word was spreading they had escapees. Poe waited for some personnel to be distracted before ducking into a closet and putting Rey down. She would draw too much attention on his shoulder. He needed a plan.

He removed her helmet. She was unconscious. Rage rolled inside of him. How could Leia's son do this to her? He took a moment to shed her armor and check her over for more serious wounds now that she couldn't protest. He wasn't a medic, but her swollen leg, singed shoulder and multiple burns looked bad. What had her done to her? And why?

He scanned the room, looking for anything he could use to transport her more covertly. They were in a janitorial closet; not too shabby if you wanted something inconspicuous. An empty laundry cart with a canvas insert drew his attention. He pulled out the bag and held it out to inspect. It might just fit Rey.

Careful of her wounds, Poe bundled her up in the sack. He threw in some towels to mask her shape before gingerly slinging it over his back. Now he was just a Stormtrooper transporting goods to the hanger. Nothing suspicious to see here. He left the closet like a man on a mission.

Officers were running every which way, some with blasters. One had what looked to be a rocket launcher, which made Poe do a double take. He kept walking through the chaos and when anyone eyed him funny he wandered over and chatted them up.

"I heard about the escapees, do you know where they were heading?" He asked a particularly perceptive soldier.

His fellow trooper shook his head. "No. But why aren't you going out with the rest of them?"

"Direct orders from his Supremeness to get this gear to his ship." He said in an impatient drawl, shrugging the shoulder supporting the bag full of Rey. "More important than rebels apparently."

"Huh." The Trooper replied, a hint of amusement in his tone. He waved Poe through to the vehicles with no further problems.

Poe was glad for a helmet to hide his grin.

Kylo Ren's ship was already prepped. The technicians were standing by looking confused. Poe thought this all very peculiar, and unfortunately so did the techs. Poe wandered over to the silencer and started to load Rey as causally as he could. A member of the ground crew rushed over with anxiety written all over him. Poe guessed that it sucked being the new guy no matter what side you were on.

"Is he coming?" He said nervously. "With this course change to Lothal I wasn't sure if he would still be flying out."

Poe stared at him for a second. " _Yeeeah_... Yeah he's coming. Disengage the fuel lines, he was right behind me." The technician looked relieved to be given clear orders. While his back was turned, Poe boarded the vessel. Rey took up too much room in the small cockpit. He placed her at his feet for now. He started the vessel's internal systems, looking quickly at the displays for the moment the technicians removed their gear from the fuselage.

"This will be _easy_. Smooth even. _Real_ smooth." Poe said to himself, coaxing his courage to not leave him now. He started the ignition and flipped some switches. The ground crew hesitated only a moment before starting to yell; realizing that this strange Stormtrooper intended to take off.

"Too late buddy." He took off his First Order issue bracers and tested the grip of the controls. Poe engaged the thrusters and lifted himself free of the other vehicles. It was madness on the deck once they realized they had an unauthorized departure in progress. Several blasters started to fire, but the shots only ricocheted, one blowing up a canister of fuel.

Poe gunned it for the bay doors, nothing in his way.

There were so many things wrong with how easy it was. Poe's head was working a mile a minute to figure out what he missed. Wasn't there protocol in place to lock down the exits in emergencies? Why was the silencer ready to go? He glanced down at the sack between his knees. How did Rey know it would be ready, and how did she get Kylo Ren's lightsaber? Was he helping her? No. That made no sense. It was more likely that this was some sort of trap.

"Pretty girl between your legs and all you can think about is how this doesn't feel right." Poe muttered to himself as he watched other fighters scramble to launch behind him. It was futile. Kylo Ren's ship was _fast_ , and he only needed to dodge a few shots before he fell out of their range.

A billion stars greeted him as he crossed into freedom.

The cruiser behind him disappeared in under five minutes, but his adrenaline still coursed hotly through his veins. "Well. You did it Dameron! Again. Now what?" He checked his positioning with whatever database this thing was equipped with, his eyebrows raising to his hairline at it's output. "Lothal system? Well isn't that our lucky day!"

Poe knew just where to celebrate.


	9. Lothal

**.**

 **Chapter Nine**

* * *

Constant noise and contrasting smells wafted through Capital City under the heat of a mid-day sun. Marks of a budding tourist industry could be seen in former shady corners of the city; slums scrubbed clean and converted into shiny casinos, drug dens reconstructed into sprawling hotels. The marketplaces had grown, attracting luxury trade and a less conspicuous under city trade. This stroke of luck would have run dry in the usual greedy fingers of Lothal's criminal elite, but the City council grew a spine over the last decade and waged a private war. There was no blood, only bargaining. Lothal was instated as the final stop on the major trade route through Mon Cala, bringing a sudden prosperity to both sides that was managed from the shadows by Ezra Bridger.

Bridger was an man with a past that wandered into legend. His youth was spent working with the Specters under the tutelage of Hera Syndulla and former Jedi apprentice Kanan Jarrus. Ezra had been trained as a Jedi, but like most children dragged into a war they did not want, the boy struggled with the dark side. In the end, Ezra found his calling as a rebel leader and fought the Sith when they were at their most powerful. He took advantage of the reign of peace the Military Disarmament act afforded him and settled down on Lothal; however, he knew that peace would not last long. There would always be evil in the galaxy, and turning a blind eye to it was not in Ezra's nature. When Luke Skywalker wanted to start a new generation of Jedi, Ezra agreed whole heartily and proudly sent his daughter Lue to train under him.

Lue's death at the hands of Kylo Ren made Ezra's life take a different turn.

War is brutal no matter which side of it you are on. Even the good guys needed to sacrifice soldiers, assassinate targets, take no prisoners, lie, steal and cheat to win. Ezra was good at those things. Once the First Order made themselves into an enemy, Ezra tried to keep five steps ahead of them. He made it his full-time job. He made it _personal_.

In Bridger's run-down office in the downtown core, the whine of speeders and advertisements wafted in from off the street below. Ezra wasn't a spry young man as most the galaxy remembered him. Age had caught up with him, weathering his skin and lightening his hair with salt and pepper streaks. He stared out the partially boarded window, motes of dust floating visible in the cascading light. A hologram played out in repeat on his desk, adding to the drone of the street.

General Hera Syndulla stood in a miniature light show of blue and silver. One hand was on her hip and the other gesticulated while she gave her report. Her dialogue was on the guilds on Ryloth and how they were working together to keep First Order roots from taking hold. She added some personal details as well as the occasional laugh.

" _And Ezra…. Don't get into any trouble._ " Syndulla finished the recorded message with a warm, knowing smile, before flickering out into silence.

Ezra closed his eyes. Recalling the moments he spent with Hera saving world after world. He only opened them when the message started over again.

A quiet knock interrupted his thoughts. Ezra reached over and turned off the hologram, dropping it into one of his desk drawers, just as his son invited himself in.

"One of the Resistance fighters is getting riled up. He's been demanding to speak with you since yesterday..." The man trailed off, just now noticing the heavy mood he wandered into. He took one look at the hollow face of his father before lowering his voice and fiddling with the data discs in his hand. "Well, he's not taking no for an answer."

It took Ezra a moment to pull himself out of his memories. There was work to do, and he took enough time sulking about Hera.

"He's the one with the wookie right?" Ezra stroked the stubble on his chin. " _Chewbacca_. That's a name I hadn't heard in a while. I will speak with both of them as soon as it is convenient, the Millennium Falcon is a good asset. I'd like to keep it around."

Honestly, was a rust bucket that could barely fly, but it was distracting to the enemy. A perfect decoy if they needed it.

His son frowned. "You do know that we have to get all of _this_ done in three hours right?" He fanned out the work in his hands before throwing it down on the desk.

"Sol, we have bigger problems." Ezra hesitated, flexing his fingers before looking his son in the eyes. "We're meeting the Supreme Leader of the First Order tomorrow for a _chat_."

This made Sol's jaw drop. "He agreed? No way. _Bullshit_. We know who he is. He knows who _you_ are."

"It will be interesting, that's for certain." Ezra crossed his arms. "I want you and Silas there. I know it'll be hard, but I'll need you to keep me focused on the present."

 _And not on the past_.

Kylo Ren was Ben Solo. Ezra suspected it for a long time, Leia's obsession with the First Order seemed more than political; but the confirmation came in a few months ago from a First Order officer they captured. Supreme Leader Snoke had tried to erase the boy's past when he took him. There were so few that knew his origin that even when rumors would circulate they'd die just as fast. Then the First Order started taking prisoners in the pursuit of the Last Jedi. They took a resistance pilot on Jakku and the word got out to his interrogators. So far Ezra's intel has only confirmed _some_ of the military knew, but none of the administration. To the executives, viceroys and guild leaders supporting the First Order, Kylo Ren was a monstrous weapon made only by Snoke.

Some one in the First Order knew though. So who was holding the information back? And why?

Ezra suspected that that person was going to be key in the upcoming war.

While Ezra was thinking politically, Sol was stewing in more personal issues. Ben Solo murdered his sister. She was a skilled force user, one of the first selected by Luke to join him at the temple to train. How proud Lue was to become a Jedi! He remembered her voice, soothing him as she left them behind. She had no fear as she left her home, vowing to change the world.

The younger man stared at his father's desk, trying to organize his thoughts before looking up.

"Yes. Of course we'll be there. I'll fetch those two Resistance fighters for you before I go. We'll work on this after..." He swallowed, trying to imagine the face of Kylo Ren before him. "...after I talk to Silas." Sol left the room briskly.

Ezra stared after him, wondering what his son would be thinking.

Was it wise to have his sons there?

Would Ezra be able to look this bastard in the eye? Negotiate without dwelling on why this snake in the shape of a man murdered his daughter in the night? The old man rubbed the back of his neck and sat down.

The universe did not discriminate. It did not know cruelty or kindness. Yet it seemed to Ezra it was exceptionally cruel to those sensitive to the force.

Ezra was connected enough to the Force to know that strange events have been occurring lately. There was an awakening, he could feel it in his soul like a solar flare. There were several shifts of balance in a short time span. Something big was happening. Kylo Ren was a major part of it. Not only did his instinct tell him that, but so many members of his intelligence network had been sharing tales of his atrocities. The most recent stories had him more concerned about another player in this power game. According to a few hard to get sources, Ryloth wasn't a First Order attack at all… but a fledgling Jedi. An out of control sensitive that murdered a room full of nobles.

Including Hera Syndulla. His friend. His mentor.

Ezra didn't know where to put his faith anymore. He was a man who believed in motives, in clever tactics, in careful schemes.

None of these events had those.

The knock of his son returning made him move back behind his desk. Sol entered with two Resistance flunkies trailing behind. He respectfully gestured to a pair of chairs to make them comfortable. Ezra took that moment to look them up and down.

The wookie was old; Ezra knew this meant he was smart as well as dangerous. Most people had heard of Chewbacca's reputation. The fact that he was hanging out with this nobody made Ezra look a little harder at the human's face. This young man stank of desperation. There were dark circles under his blood shot eyes. The soldier looked like he would eat his own fingers to get at something. Ezra had a feeling that's why he was here.

Ezra steeled himself for some difficult conversation.

"You wanted to speak with me? Something important on your mind? More important than keeping this sundry army together before the First Order blows a hole in it?" He narrowed his eyes, wondering how much time he should be dedicating to them. He wasted enough time today.

Finn slammed his hand down on the desk - opening strong. Ezra didn't know if he liked that or not.

"My friends are missing, one of them is a Jedi - the LAST Jedi, and **no one** seems to care."

"The apprentice? The one sent to Ryloth?" Ezra raised an eyebrow. This was an unexpected puzzle piece freely offered. He didn't know much about this _Jedi_ other than the rumors circulating around the Resistance that she was Luke's last student and that she was also close to Leia Organa. The event in the Taa manor seemed to him more like an accident; but Ezra met Leia Organa. That woman didn't invest in accidents.

Well there was Ben.

"Tell me about her." Ezra demanded gently.

Finn looked to Chewy, a flash of hope shared between them.

"Her name is Rey. She was with Poe Dameron and General Leia Organa at the summit on Ryloth. They were trying to get help from the New Republic." Finn explained, a little calmer now that he caught Ezra's attention. "Something happened and we heard everyone was dead. We tried to find them, but they disappeared."

Ezra tucked his hands behind his back. "I'm sorry to say that your friends are likely dead. We can't spend the resources to confirm this-"

"You were the one that extracted the dead from Ryloth! My friends bodies were not among them!" Finn's hackles came back up and he stood from his seat.

"Because the First Order got there first. I doubt that they would have kept them alive." Ezra countered matter of factly.

"Then why take them!? Why not leave them?" Finn's voice came dangerously close to shouting.

Ezra stared the soldier down and didn't speak again till Finn kept a lid on his frustration. "What's your name kid? What rank did Organa give you?"

"Finn sir. No rank-"

At this Chewbacca interrupted, calling Finn his gunner. He added that he didn't like Bridger's tone. If he wanted to have the Millenium Falcon on his manifest, he better stop with the ' _kid'_ shit.

This made Ezra straighten up and reassess the formerly silent wookie. "I don't know you." He looked back to Finn, who was still recovering from Chewy's comment. "Either of you. What would you have me do? Sanction a rescue mission for people we don't have a location or status for? I'll stop with the ' _kid stuff_ ' when you start thinking like an adult." He was getting angry. Ezra was not used to people trying to tell him what to do at this stage in his life.

The tension was broken by a young woman bursting in the room with a report in her hand.

"Ah! Sorry Commander… I have an urgent message." She glanced to Finn and Chewy, then back to her boss. "They just spotted a TIE silencer landing in the industrial quarter. Custom SJFS fitted with missile launchers, laser cannons…" She was reading off the sheet but she gasped at the next bit. " _Oh_! The engines on this thing are state of the art!"

Finn and Chewy looked to each other before bowling over the secretary in their rush to get out of the room. Ezra yelled after them to stop, then started shouting at the girl. "Get the recon team to the area, if it's Kylo Ren we need to get our forces off this rock as soon as possible. Have the Resistance leave first as a distraction, then our groups in waves."

The secretary rattled the paper, "Kayla said that a Stormtrooper and a girl got off it. She's tailing them. They are in a warehouse. Security is inbound. She's going to report back as soon as she can… this was ten minutes ago."

Chewy and Finn froze several paces outside the room when the woman mentioned a girl and a stormtrooper. "That can't be right. There is no one that is allowed to fly that ship other than Kylo Ren." Finn turned and went to snatch the paper from the secretary's hand but she made a face and stomped on his foot.

"Watch it stranger!" She snapped.

"We need more eyes on this. Someone confirm that that is an SJFS custom silencer. I want to know who the girl is, and what this Stormtrooper is doing here." Ezra fled his office, grabbing his coat on the way out. The secretary ran off and started delegating tasks.

Finn and Chewy followed Ezra down a floor and out into the street.

The building they exited was nondescript. Bridger's staff liked it that way. The man operated an information network that spanned systems. They didn't even have a name, but people knew where to go to get paid for their gossip… or buy the right rumour. When the New Republic leaders fell on Ryloth, Ezra had a vested interest in figuring out who was behind it. It lead him to the dregs of the Resistance, and now he found himself an elected leader of a varied and disorganized army hell-bent on revenge.

Ezra liked the taste of revenge, but he was willing to put it aside for something more beneficial.

"Stop following me." Bridger barked at the duo trailing him as he circled his speeder. His attention was diverted as he checked for anything out of the ordinary and let his pocket scanner detect any explosives. It chirped an all clear and he entered the vehicle.

"We think the girl could be Rey. If it is, then things will be easier for you if you let us come with you." It actually sounded like Finn meant it, which made Ezra want to laugh at his naivety.

He put a hand around his passenger seat and angled himself towards his pests. They had that look in their eye like they were about to do something stupid. If Ezra didn't bring them a long, they were going to come along anyway and make a scene. Ezra didn't like ' _scenes_ ' in his line of work. He looked to Finn, then to Chewy and sighed.

"Get in. Tell me what you know on the way."

* * *

Rey didn't wake during the two hour stint to Lothal. Poe had no idea if she was sleeping or dying or doing a mix of both. He lost count on how many time he had checked if she was breathing during their trip. During the fourth (or was it the fifth?) check, Poe couldn't take the lack of leg room anymore and he pulled Rey out from between his knees. On his lap he could keep better track of her vitals, but it wasn't comfortable. If she had woken up, it would have been quite awkward to explain, but worth it to know she was going to be okay.

Her head was curled under Poe's chin and he could smell the stale smoke in her hair. There were still a few loose braids from her up-do on Ryloth and he remembered how pretty she looked done up like a proper lady. How quickly that vision was ripped apart by this war. Poe wasn't sheltered from the consequences of battle, but he never anticipated people like Rey getting involved. She never signed up for this. Because of the events on Jakku she had felt the meat hooks of the enemy - _Kylo Ren_. Poe shuddered.

He remembered how adamant she was about Ryloth being a bad idea; how scared she was during that briefing. Perhaps they should have listened a little better... then maybe none of this would have happened.

No.

Poe reminded himself that thoughts along that vein don't help anyone. Hindsight was 20/20. What was done is done... but some part of the narrative was missing. Why was he the only prisoner taken? Where were the other leaders of the New Republic?

He remembered the shot at Leia. Rey screaming. Everyone screaming during some sort of attack.

It took Poe too long to shake that horrible sound.

He focused instead on his flight path.

Their destination was Lothal, a planet that liked to change allegiances at least twice a year since the fall of the Empire. There were a few military outposts for the First Order, but also embassies and senate chambers utilized by the New Republic. It made for some very interesting cantinas. If anyone ever wanted to let off some steam by punching a stranger in the face, Lothal was the place to be.

The problem he faced was where to land.

He was a Resistance fighter, in a stolen First Order vessel, that belonged to the Supreme Leader. In his lap was an injured Jedi Apprentice, and he was dressed like a StormTrooper. All he needed was a pro-Sith sticker and then everyone would hate him. Kylo Ren's lightsaber rolled around the base of the cockpit during his descent. He laughed at that with a little bit too much adrenaline mixed in.

"We'll work with this. We've worked with worse..." He chatted to himself while flicking switches to prepare for landing. He chose the industrial district of Capital City because the silencer may not stand out so much next to other vehicles. As soon as he landed, Poe knew he was kidding himself. Everything else was filthy cargo hauling vessels and at least a decade old. The silencer was a dark beauty that would draw every eye in the vicinity.

Poe took a deep breath, setting down easily beside some rusted junk. He took a moment to enjoy the quiet of the cockpit without the lights and engines distracting him. He could do this. He just needed to find a doctor and get out of this armor. He shifted Rey to his shoulder to better maneuver himself out onto the tarmac. As soon as he set foot on the landing grid, two maintenance personnel were behind him looking at the ship, then him.

One was tall and dark; the other was a female Neimoidan. Both looked _very_ interested in why a Stormtrooper was carrying an unconscious girl around.

"Nice TIE you got there… 'aven't seen one like it." The taller spat on the ground while his Neimoidan friend stared at Poe, expecting trouble.

Poe took off his helmet with his free hand and took a gasp of air. "Yeah. That's why I stole it." He pitched the gear to the ground just in case he needed to reach for his weapon. "Look. I have an injured friend, and I could really use a change of clothes. You guys wanna help me out in exchange for this shiny piece of weaponry behind me?" He pointed a thumb towards the silencer.

The woman narrowed her eyes. "You think that we're stupid? That ship comes with a _druk_ -ton of trouble." Her gaze flickered quickly to Rey. "Besides, we could just take it from you." Her tone was testing, but Poe dealt with her kind before.

The pilot shifted Rey on his shoulder to get at his blaster. The two tensed and reached for their utility belts, but Poe threw his gun to the ground.

"Look. Free blaster! I'm just full of rewards for good behavior." He smiled at the incredulous faces of his greeting party. "But I'm sure you're nice people willing to help out a soul in need with or without to much compensation, right?."

The darker one smiled as he stepped forward and hesitantly picked up the blaster. He looked it over and nodded smugly. "Yeah. Yeah you're good wit' us. I'm sure we have somethin' you can change into."

The Neimoidan was shocked at her compatriot. "What? Seriously? This is not something you want to stick your nose into Pokko. Just look at that thing. It probably belongs to a General. If he stole it, they'll be asking questions, and just who do you think they'll be asking?"

"My ma believes in the wheel. I 'elp 'im now, others 'elp me later. Besides, look at 'is girl. She is 'alf dead." The man said with a surprising hint of concern.

" _Thank-you_ … thank-you." Poe rushed over, shaking the man's hand. Pokko didn't seem to know what to do with the gesture and just shrugged at the pilot.

"C'mon. Be quick."

Poe's new friend to showed him into a small warehouse. There were a few workers on an assembly line boxing components. They paid them no mind despite how odd they must have looked lugging a body around. It smelt of wet gunpowder and fresh plasteel, but the place was tidy. There were a few empty offices on the upper floors and two people talking on a cat-walk above. The windows of the place were so dirty you couldn't see through them and the light struggled through cast everything in sepia.

"Name is Pokko. Dun spread it 'round and **dun tell me yours** , it'll make it easier. My friend 'ere is Utte." He gestured to the alien woman who put up her hands and turned away to go up the stairs.

"I want nothing to do with this Pokko. Help him if you want, but I'm not getting a free gun for this _skrog._ "

Poe fiddled with his holster. "You want one? I have two." Poe took out the other blaster, making Utte hesitate. Poe smiled as her eyes roamed over it, appraising and weighing her options. In the end she shook her head reluctantly. "No. No no. Not worth the heat." She walked away without a backwards glance.

Poe stared after her suspiciously while re-holstering his weapon. "She's not going to call the First Order on me is she?"

Pokko followed his gaze. "Could be. Utte always does what she wants." He ducked into a locker room and grabbed a set of coveralls from a rack. "'ere. Change quickly."

Poe gently set Rey down on the bench and took at look at his new outfit. It looked like it would fit. The name tag on the front said ' **Reese** '.

"These aren't yours…" Not that he would fit into Pokko's clothes. The maintenance man had a solid foot over him.

Pokko laughed, "Nah. They belong to a _sleemo_ on the afternoon shift. Be good for the wheel if you don't get caught, good for a laugh if you do."

Poe wasn't sure how to take that comment, but he stripped down anyway and tested out the coveralls for mobility. They were a little tight on him, but on the plus side, he would be dry in a minor flood.

"Thanks buddy. Now where's the nearest hospital?" Rey was the priority now that they had reduced the likelihood of being shot on sight. She really did look like a corpse sprawled out on the locker room bench. He checked again if she was breathing. Her skin felt like it was on fire.

"Ah. You look like a man with no credit. No 'ospital will take you."

"I'll cross that bridge when I get there... I'm going to need a vehicle too..." Poe checked the pockets of his new uniform, finding them empty. "Does this _sleemo_ friend of yours drive anything?"

Pokko smiled, showing all his teeth. "You are a funny man. I am glad we met. I will show you... come."

Poe picked up Rey and followed Pokko to the lot outside but was greeted with over a dozen guns being pointed at him.

" **FREEZE. DROP THE GIRL. HANDS IN THE AIR!** " One of the more centrally located goons shouted. Poe's heart stopped as he tried to figure out just how screwed he was. They didn't look like First Order - more like local security. Perhaps he could talk his way out of this? At his side Pokko raised his hands and started sweating.

"She's hurt! Needs medical attention!" Poe shouted back, buying time to think, while raising one hand in surrender. He kept the other around Rey on his shoulder.

" **PUT HER ON THE GR-** "

Poe didn't get to hear the last part of sentence because a large canister bounced in from the right. Everyone followed it with their eyes, jaws loosening and eyebrows raising. Poe had reflexes honed from multiple battlefields and instinctively dived behind cover. Just before he disappeared through the door, he caught a figure creeping around a parked vehicle. An explosion of yellowed smoke burst through the open door, making Poe put a sleeve over his face. Was this a smoke bomb or some sort of gas? He tried not to breathe and checked that Rey was still solidly on his shoulder.

Gunfire peppered the building. Screams erupted from the workers within, which made the barrage cease instantly. The security forces started yelling at each other.

Poe was glad he had crouched down or he would have been sporting some holes. The smoke quickly over took him and he couldn't see shit. He heard his heart hammering in his ears. Should he run? He didn't know if there was another exit in this building.

A touch at his wrist made him jump. A masked face loomed before him - all googles, filters and lights. The figure pulled at him, helping him to his feet. Poe's eyes stung. Without seeing an alternative he let himself be led out of the building. His savior's grip was like a vice, but it was human. Poe guessed female. he heard her whisper something to a receiver he couldn't see.

The smoke was thick and only just starting to dissipate. Poe's lungs were screaming for air. The silhouettes of the security team could be made out just barely in the shifting particulate. They had retreated to better assess the situation. Poe and the woman ran around to the opposite side of warehouse to keep the building between them and the gun totting security force. There was a street across another landing zone, and they made their way towards it, weaving between supply crafts, land speeders and cargo ships. Now that Poe could see, his savior was indeed female.

"I have them. Coming out the south. Will be at the marker in 60, could be a chase." She touched something on the side of her headgear and the lights on it died. She removed her mask, shaking out a mane of long blonde hair. She winked at Poe. "Follow me and don't attract attention!"

"Who are you?" He said, obeying her since there was no other option presenting itself. She didn't answer his question and sprinted towards the street. Poe struggled to keep up with Rey as dead weight. He shifted her into his arms to spare her ribs from the jostling. As soon as the woman hit the street a speeder came sailing down from above, it stopped suddenly with a burst of it's engines.

Poe recognized the people in the back seat and nearly died from excitement and relief.

"Shut up and get in!" The older driver barked before anyone could burst out in jubilation. Poe threw Rey onto Finn and Chewy's lap before jumping into the passenger seat. The woman threw in her head gear before turning back and disappearing into the background. Poe shouted at her, wondering why she wasn't leaving with them. The speeder took off like a bullet and rejoined traffic, nearly giving him whiplash. Poe turned around, forgetting the woman for now. There were more pressing things to dedicate his attention to, namely his former Resistance mates.

"HOW!?" Poe threw up his arms in utter disbelief.

Finn and Chewbacca were all grins as well.

"We heard Kylo Ren's ship landed and just followed this guy!" Finn pointed to Ezra Bridger in the driver's seat.

Poe looked at the driver who was glowering as they were being noisy. Poe sat down properly in his seat and leaned back, laughing with tears in his eyes.

"What are the odds?"

Chewbacca answered with something Poe couldn't translate.


	10. Coruscant

.

 **Chapter Ten**

* * *

Kylo Ren paced the conference room, leaving unsettled dignitaries in his wake. He did not assert himself into their conversations. He barely acknowledged their presence. His mind was dwelling on his future moves, trying to suss out a game plan that would lead him to everything he wanted without exposing him as a traitor to the First Order.

But what did he want?

Rey's face leaped to the forefront of his mind and he shook it away reflexively. He couldn't let himself be blinded by sentimentality. He was in the lion's den, she was not. If he left now to join her, the First Order would still be a forgettable foe against the galaxy. His place was here.

From the council there came a call to arms, a call to fortify their defenses, a call to cut losses and count what little profit they had; but Kylo Ren did not hear those calls. He did not care.

A unified army for a unified galaxy was their creed, but that was impossible. A gun needed a target.

What target did they have? The New Republic? They were the only order left in the galaxy and they already shot out it's heart. The First Order could go further, rip the rest of it apart, rebuild everything from the ensuing chaos. It would be easy to create a government to First Order specifications. Any nails that were too far removed from their ideologies would get the hammer.

But Kylo Ren wasn't sure if that was his calling.

Most of the officials at the meeting were holograms - projected from their offices. Some were physically present, uncomfortable with Kylo Ren treading about behind them. There was one exception.

Sitting in her polished combat armor with a newly manufactured bionic leg was Captain Phasma. Her helmet didn't move, but Kylo Ren could feel her eyes follow him around the room. Phasma had been in the medical laboratory for the past week recovering from the destruction of _The Supremacy_. Her body was a mangled wreck, but now it seemed as if she could return to work.

 _Or was urged to_.

General Armitage Hux's death put Phasma in a unique place of power. The military would not accept the shift of leadership to a _mystic_. Now that Phasma was in uniform again, they turned to her to second guess everything Kylo Ren was trying to accomplish. Kylo Ren was only a figurehead, but that would change soon if he wasn't careful.

Phasma looked at him like a shark that smelt blood in the water; it was disconcerting. Did she see his weakness behind his emotionless mask? Did she know that he regained his soul?

"We have confirmed that forces are amassing on Lothal. We can also confirm that Ezra Bridger is their leader." said Baron Marshe, who oversaw the manufacturing of their fleet. "Their numbers are growing with every day that passes, and I can only promise fighters now that my supply lines are being watched. Another dreadnought, or even a cruiser will take me at least a year." His hologram turned to another, "It seems we wouldn't have crew for them anyway. How are the new cadets?"

Captain Tang bobbed his head. "We are training them on Mirialan, but they-"

"Are not the caliber I can accept," Phasma finished for him. The attention of the room shifted to her. "I will not invest in greenlings who fight like children. We will make do with what we have."

General Noran shook her head at Phasma in disbelief. "We have suffered 60 to 70% losses in officers over the last month… we are running a skeleton crew-"

"I am not having untrained and untested units in my fleet. That is final." Phasma's tone cut through the General's protests. Noran Looked to Kylo Ren, expecting him to intervene, but he did not. Captain Tang's mouth quivered in anger as if to defend his recruits, but someone else took the silence and ran with it.

"What of our objectives? We have yet to integrate into the centralist government. Our destruction of the Hosian system and the event on Ryloth has created widespread disorder. Many are latching onto the ashes of the senate for protection."

"Many have also taken interest in alternative leadership." A tall Neimoidian mentioned casually. "There are dozens that were voiceless in the senate and wish to be a part of something greater. Our numbers may not grow, but our resources have been well managed." It was a stroke of Chairman Gunto's own ego, considering he was responsible for that management.

"Chairman, please elaborate." There was venom in General Noran's words. She was certain the Neimodian was lying. "I've been going through our finances. With the destruction of two of our biggest ships and the Starkiller base… _how are we not in the red_?" Eyebrows raised.

"I would like to know that too." Chief Engineer Wutack piped up, also sensing the lie. "We are still paying for materials that were decimated in the resistance attack."

"We have recycled many of our investments into other more prosperous endeavors. Research is a valuable asset and we have sold some of our technologies to vested parties." Gunto said cheerfully.

Phasma's mask shifted to the Chairman. "You are selling First Order secrets to other organizations? How is this not _treason_?" She said the word like a threat.

An old woman dressed in a lab coat spoke up in defense of the Chairman. "Those organizations have folded into ours - increasing our technological, and in some cases, political progress. Any that haven't yielded were destroyed and their research and development reabsorbed and examined. How do you think we discovered light speed tracking? Some clever Arkanian in our lab thought to claim the idea wholly as his own. Not his brightest move."

Captain Phasma seemed mollified by this for she said nothing further.

"What of the diplomatic charade with the New Republic?" Baron Marshe looked up at Kylo Ren expectantly. This caused everyone to shift their gaze to the shadow they had been trying to avoid this whole time.

"I will speak with their representative tonight on Mon Cala." Ren said without looking at the Baron. His thoughts were on the future. "Ezra Bridger prefers to work in the shadows. The New Republic has put him out of position by placing him in our sights. I intend to use this advantage to disband his army."

"How?" Phasma said in monotone, unbelieving.

Kylo Ren looked over to her, his eyebrows knitting in frustration at her question.

"You dare question me?" There was no heat in the words, just cold curiosity. The wellspring of his anger no longer bubbled easily to the surface.

"Yes." Phasma said boldly; daring him to retaliate.

The expressions of the council were made of marble as they looked upon the two of them, but Kylo Ren knew their loyalties. There was interest in their greedy eyes and the subtle flavor of pride in their posture. They wanted to know which puppet was _really_ in charge.

"Their forces were are brought together by anger; dispelling it will cast disorder among them." He answered calmly, causing a few carefully crafted faces to slip and show their surprise. Even Phasma seemed taken back by the reply.

"You still haven't explained _how_." She said after a moment's pause.

Kylo Ren resumed his pacing. "I know who was behind the incident on Ryloth - a rogue member of the Resistance. I will hand them this information, with proof, and let them point the fingers at each other. While they squabble in true diplomatic fashion, we will unify the smaller rim worlds for our cause. This will re-establish a foundation for our Order and allow us to raze any who oppose us." He stopped his pacing and straightened, turning to the table with his hands behind his back.

"We have largest fleet." Kylo Ren looked to the Baron, "The latest technology." He looked to the lady in white and Chairman Gunto, "And the best trained militia in the Galaxy." He looked to Phasma and _smiled_.

A shiver went through many present. Who was this man that used to grovel at Snoke's feet and tantrum like a child? Who was this leader that now spoke with such confidence?

"Let us use our resources to conquer worlds and create a better, **stronger** galaxy." He finished, confirming to anyone that could see or hear that he was in charge. Despite the holograms, Kylo Ren could feel the shift of loyalty in the room.

 _I am not the man you think I am…_ He thought, savoring the smoke screen he created for himself.

Captain Phasma continued to say nothing, but Kylo Ren could feel her eyes burning into him through the slots of her helmet.

* * *

Rey woke to dim lighting and the sensation of a hand over hers. A fog lingered at the edges of her perception, blanketing everything with a false sense of warmth and softness. In her sleepy stupor, Rey shifted her head to see Finn, slumped in a chair, his head lolled to one side as he snored gently. A rush of happiness swelled inside of her.

While her friend slept on, Rey took a look around the room. To her unaccustomed eye, this place was fit for royalty. There were framed paintings on the walls and carpet below. Comfortable looking sofas were against the wall, some of their matching seats were dragged over to the bed she slept on. Rey had never slept on a bed before. She experienced her hammock on Jakku, the bunks in the Falcon and the cots at the Resistance bases; but this was something else. Some sort of cloud… shaped into a square.

With effort, the girl sat up, tensing for the pain that never came. The sensation across her skin was numbed, like she had pinched a nerve somewhere. There was the dull feeling of something around her ankle, but her stirring to look at it made Finn snort and bolt awake. His eyes dashed to Rey's, and when they connected he broke out into a relieved smile.

Rey couldn't help but smile in reply. "Finn..." she started to say, but realized everything she felt was in that one breath. She was so glad to see him again. Gods, so much had happened since she last saw his face. Rey expected him to ask if this was "Force Stuff" like usual, but he didn't. She watched the thousand watt grin dim down slowly into something more awkward. It was a face that was worried and trying miserably to hide it.

Finn's eyes slid down to his hand on hers. Rey's own expression echoed his.

"Where is Poe?" Rey asked, wondering if that was the source of the worry.

"He's with Commander Bridger. They had meeting with the First Order. They're having a disagreement over something." Finn paused, uncertain if he should go further. To Rey's shock, she could feel fear in his mind - clear as day.

"The First Order accused you of about thirty counts of murder." Finn stared at the wall, unable to look his friend in the eye.

The calmness Rey felt in the face of such a heavy statement was out of place.

She drew upon the serenity she found while on Ahch-to, when Luke told her to reach out and find the Force. Everything was right in front of her then. Actions and consequences, order and chaos, peace and war. Rey ended that lesson by tumbling towards the darkness. She felt the same again when Leia died, and again when Kylo Ren attacked her. Despite this, the light held her fast. She gravitated towards it. Yearned for it. She knew now that it was the Force's design. She needed to _be_ the light whilst Kylo Ren embodied the darkness. She couldn't be anything else.

The light strengthened her even now.

There was a multitude of regret for her actions, tied into a sense of loss and a fear of consequences. Yet she forgave herself. Accepted it. Moved past it. The people around her couldn't see the flow of events the way she did. Rey learned from the past, accepted it and was ready for the next event. The people around her were stuck in the past. Wasting energy… churning it into sentimentality. They weren't viewing both sides. Weren't embracing both perspectives.

Oh gods, she was thinking like a Jedi.

Rey knew now - to be a Jedi wasn't to be absent of emotion, it was to understand all emotions. The good, the bad, and the ability to find a place between them - to walk that path.

"Those people are dead because of me Finn." She whispered, eyes unfocused before seeking out her friend and pleading for understanding. "Leia died and I could do nothing. I lost control of my grief and it came out wrong. I would have died there too if it wasn't for Ben."

"What… are you saying?" Finn said faintly, not believing what his friend had done. He had been the first to defend her when the story came out. To argue that it couldn't be the truth.

Rey slipped her hand from Finn's and looked at it. "I know this is hard to hear, but trust me. I know my place in all of this now." She took a deep breath and slowed down her explanation to give him more time to digest the words.

"I used the Force to contact Kylo Ren… hoping he could save his mother. It was too late… and I went too far. I almost burned alive. He brought me back." She turned her palms over, there were freshly healed blemishes on both of them. She pulled off her blankets and rolled up her sleep wear to see the scarring on her legs. It was bad, but only aesthetically so. She flexed her calves and the muscle was in tact. There was a strange link of metal around her ankle that flashed a few colors. It distracted her from her train of thought.

Finn brought her back before the questions could form. "Those… burns… you did that?"

Rey frowned and looked back to her friend. "I came out on Dantooine in the middle of a burning farmhouse. Kylo Ren had killed everyone Poe and I recruited."

"But I looked at your medical files… there was other… damage." He was nervous, again unable to meet her eyes.

Rey spend a moment confused, until she grasped what he was not saying. So they knew about Kylo Ren's torture. All of it.

Her ears went pink. "He tried to turn me to the dark side, but I ultimately resisted. It… changed things. We both understand the Force and its influence now. There can be no extremes, only balance."

In flashes, Rey recalled every moment since she last seen Finn. Poe staring at her powdered face, Leia smiling on the dais, General Hux choking as she tested the limits of her hate, everyone falling like stray embers of a fire, Moya's body, Kylo Ren's kiss followed by a violation of her mind and body, all of which culminated in her mastery of the Force. She understood its nature. She could now look back and see the flow of her life, and how much the Force had tampered with it.

"A lot happened Finn… I… I'm not sure how to explain it." She put a hand to her forehead. She felt so strange. Dizzy.

"Rey?" Finn said softly, his eyes looking at her as if she would snap at any moment.

"Where is Kylo Ren?" She whispered, almost to herself.

Finn's mouth twitched. "He's not here. He's far away. You're safe here now. With any luck Commander Bridger will be able to assassinate that nerf-herder for all the things he did to you."

With a sharp inhale Rey whipped her head towards her friend. "No! Weren't you listening to me? We need him. He's the only hope we have of shutting down the First Order. We need to end this cycle of violence before it starts again."

Finn went to say something. But merely dropped his mouth open. It took him awhile to recalculate his response. "That man is evil. What he did to you was evil. Rey, do you understand that?"

"Finn, it does not matter. The Force in me is the same Force that is in him." With a fervor she didn't know she had, Rey swung around and sat cross-legged on the bed, ready to do everything in her power to explain this to Finn - even if she had to explain it a thousand times, she needed him on her side.

"Ben and I… we're opposites, but the Force doesn't work in extremes. The more you go in one direction the stronger the other side gets. The Force seeks balance. It moved through me…. through Leia… through Luke to counter his power. It only pushed Kylo Ren further to the dark! But Luke is gone. Leia is gone. It was just me… and he..."

Rey paused, unable to get the words out once they crossed her mind. "It will sound worse than it was… " That was a lie and it hurt to say it. Never had she experienced such brutality and pain, but she couldn't let Finn worry. She needed him to understand.

"He broke me. I fell to the dark side... _briefly_. I had to Finn. I couldn't understand otherwise, but then the Force just… fixed itself. I _felt_ it. I was between dark and light…. Hate and love… and he was there too."

Finn's eyes were wide. He needed to stand and move around the room to not grab Rey by the shoulders and shake her until she stopped speaking nonsense. When he finally turned to look at Rey, his face was serious. "Rey. I think you need to consider that you may be experiencing some stuff that might be too much for a mind to handle rationally."

"Are you calling me crazy?" Rey exclaimed, her face rigidly neutral.

"No no no! Not _crazy_! Just… stressed out." Finn said hesitantly.

"Finn, I've never been more certain about any-"

Rey stopped mid sentence. Her mental haze cleared just enough so that she could sense a presence outside of the room. As her focus tightened, she realized that there were multiple people. "Finn. Where am I?"

"Coruscant." Finn answered, wondering why Rey suddenly changed topics. "Commander Bridger sent you here in secret. Once Kylo Ren broke the news that you were the one that killed the people at the Ryloth summit, he was worried about your safety." His eyes went to the door, confirming what Rey already knew.

"I want to leave" Rey suddenly got to her feet, stumbling into Finn who steadied her.

"Whoa, Rey. You need to rest a little longer. You've been through too much...!"

"I'm not allowed to leave… am I?" She rushed to the exit, her legs feeling soft and unused. She needed to see - to know what was really happening here. There was the weight of the metal cuff on her right ankle that disturbed her just as much as the people outside her door. Just before she reached it, the door opened, revealing an older man. He was flanked by two men dressed in armor.

"I apologize for the abrupt interruption, but I can see that it didn't come as a surprise."

Rey narrowed her eyes at the aged stranger before her. She had never seen him before and she didn't know what to make of his carefully composed features. "I'm getting good at recognizing when I'm being held captive."

"This is the best _cell_ in the galaxy, and from your profile, it is a taste of luxury one of your kind rarely experiences. I suggest that you savor it for the moment." He said with a hint of kindness that made Rey wary. The man took several steps into the room, looking at Finn then inclining his head to the door. Finn complied with an apologetic glance towards Rey. The girl's jaw loosened in bewilderment as the door closed behind her friend, and she was alone with this stranger.

"Who are you?" Rey asked, wondering who would order Finn around with no fuss.

"Ezra Bridger. Not that you would have heard of me. Currently I am commanding an army that is disintegrating because of you. With no cohesive force to counter The First Order, they have their foot in the door for domination of the galaxy." He stared at her with interest and Rey could feel the Force stir between them. It made her take several steps back. He was trying to use the force to… scan her?

"You're a Jedi…?" She asked, deflecting his manipulations easily, but wondering how powerful he really was. Rey tried to reach out and sense the extent of his mastery, but got nothing.

Ezra shook his head. "No, but I was trained as one. I learned at a young age that some were just not meant to wield so much power." His lips twitched and he regarded Rey with curiosity. "I think it is a lesson everyone learns, eventually."

There was an unspoken question between them. Rey didn't know if she sensed it socially, or with her constantly growing powers.

"I have mastered control of my abilities, or at least I know enough that I could, if... tested again." She lowered her eyes, remembering Leia dying in her arms. "There are things I don't know if I can do… but what I did on Ryloth will not happen again." She looked Ezra in the eye. "I have a role to fill in the coming future. I can stop this war… but I need help."

"Aah, the arrogance of a Jedi. At least you have the sense to ask for help." Ezra smiled, but it did not meet his eyes. "What is your plan?"

"I don't know if I can trust you." Rey said suspiciously.

"Why not?"

"Because I don't know you." Rey said as if it were obvious. This conversation made her uncomfortable, and she was a prisoner here.

"Wisdom I suppose. But I will need that information if I am to help you. Who _do_ you trust?" He set his hands behind his back, as if patiently waiting for her answer.

Rey never met a man like Ezra before. He was difficult to read and unpredictable. "I trust Poe Dameron… his droid BB-8, Chewbacca and Finn."

"What about Kylo Ren?"

At this question Rey blanched. Where did that come from? Was he eavesdropping on her talk with Finn? If Finn didn't believe her about Ben Solo, there was no way this stranger would. What could she say?

"Startled?" Ezra asked, amused. A new smile twisted on his face now that Rey's awareness of him had heightened. "I was startled too. On Mon Cala I expected a tyrant Sith Lord with plans to burn worlds and build evil anew. By all accounts that his how he presented himself; but, in the middle of a heated debate, Kylo Ren looked at me and sent me a telepathic message." He took a step towards Rey, but when she matched the movement, he stopped. Ezra didn't intend to intimidate her, only examine her responses.

"He said that you were sent to me for safe-keeping. That he intended to face the consequences of his actions by your side. That the both of you would no longer consent to being weapons in this war."

Rey was unsure if those were really Kylo Ren's words, or Ezra's in an attempt to control her. "Do you believe him?"

"Do you?"

"If those were his words, then yes. We don't want to fight anymore. Our battle is a different one, and it's over now. He succeeded in his mission. There are no more Jedi, but there are no more Sith either. There is just the two of us."

"I want to believe that." Ezra said darkly. "The force is a strange thing. Even now it is guiding me to hear those words as truth, but it's too convenient." Ezra's speech came quicker now, and his expressions less guarded.

"It is true." Rey said firmly. "And it is not convenience…. It is destiny."

Ezra stared at Rey a long time.

"Strange." He said before breaking eye contact and meandering to the door. "For now I will consider you an ally. However, there are many that will not see you that way." He paused and looked over his shoulder. "The chancellor has plans for you that may meddle with your 'destiny'. I will do what I can to secure your freedom… but I doubt you will be able to leave Coruscant for a long time."

"No cell will hold me for long Ezra Bridger." She said his name with the venom she had normally reserved for Kylo Ren.

"Such anger at me? I'm trying to help you girl." He sighed, betraying a hint of weariness. "Dameron said that you were stubborn. It's going to make your future very difficult." Ezra left then, the door shutting swiftly before Rey could follow. The girl cursed and sat down on the chair that Finn had occupied.

What would happen to her now?

* * *

A/N: I had a whole Mon Cala chapter planned out... but it was so boring that I just summarized it here. I'm not sure how much political stuff people wanna hear. I know you're all here for the Reylo! Well there should be a hint of something next chapter and the following chapter should be really good to get those horomone's pumping :3 I'm aiming to wrap this story in chapter 13 or 14.


	11. Mon Cala

**.**

 **Chapter Eleven**

* * *

Kylo Ren was used to officers tensing when he entered a room. Fear diffused from him like a heavy fragrance, leaving traces on the Finalizer where ever he had been. Daily threats were still carried out with cold brutality - bad news rewarded with bruised windpipes and any inefficiency with worse. Ren hid behind his actions, knowing that to integrate into the First Order machine he would need to keep up his soulless facade. He couldn't afford to let his enemies grow bold.

With the help of General Noran, Kylo Ren's fingers found their way into the inner workings of his organization. There, he found signs of Phasma's meddling. Command now turned to the Captain with their reports before informing him. The first Commander he caught doing so had a date with an air lock with the rest of the hierarchy watching. The man's slowly freezing hands grasping at his neck for air would serve as incentive for many to obey the true Supreme Leader.

Phasma did not appreciate Ren's sudden interest in management and told him so. It didn't stop his crusade. Kylo Ren would not allow her to wrest control from him just yet, so he kept alert, tracked her supporters and transferred anyone vital to her success onto other ships with less influence.

Was it all a charade? The question came to the forefront of his mind last night while staring at the glossy ceiling. Kylo Ren was relying heavily on his arrogance - the streak of pride generated from successfully becoming the most powerful man in the galaxy. Ren had thought he wanted this - but now everything was uncertain. Rey shook the foundations of his self image. The commander he sent out an airlock haunted him, as did the red-headed girl on Dantooine, and his mother's face, eyes open, sparking with the lights of a chandelier, his father reaching up to touch his face-

Ren took a deep breath and held it. He let the air out slowly, willing his heart to slow and stop ruining his composure. Kylo Ren didn't enjoy hurting people anymore - if he could call it enjoyment before. His old modus operandi was to sink as low as he could and use the evil to strengthen his dominance over the Force. He would have done anything to feel powerful - to feel in control of his destiny.

He didn't feel that now, even when strutting around the Finalizer spitting out orders. The galaxy wasn't enough anymore. The Jedi Order was dead, his master was slain by his own hand; he even found someone that looked at him not with terror or revulsion, but with _hope_. Damn it all.

Kylo Ren clenched his fist as he wandered towards engineering, the quiet creak of his leather gloves distracting - comforting. Anger was easy for him, but when he drew upon those volatile emotions, so achingly familiar, Rey's face appeared in his mind and robbed him of their power. What was happening to him? To the both of them? Was he some love-struck fool? Or was this puppetry of the Force? Rey wasn't the first pretty girl to cross his path, but damned if she was the first to reach into his core and squeeze his heart - the heart he thought he left behind when he turned his back on his family.

This was going to get him killed.

"Supreme Leader." The title was barked down the corridor, stopping Kylo Ren in his tracks. It was Captain Phasma, appearing as if from nowhere. She knew the ship better than Kylo Ren did and it grated on him. The area was devoid of people. Ren wondered if Phasma was up to something. A private duel perhaps? He still had not forgotten the way she challenged him during their last meeting that morning.

"Do you have something to report?" He asked coldly, pivoting to face her. There was the tension again, settling heavily between them.

"I am coming with you to Mon Cala. I have reason to believe we are being led into a trap."

Kylo Ren's mouth twitched. "Sudden intuition?"

His words were mocking, but he knew such sonority had no effect on Phasma when her mind was set on something. "You claim to be a tactician, yet you would have _both of us_ walk into danger? I would have expected you to stay behind to plan my funeral." Not that she would have held one. "Are you shedding suspicion?"

Phasma sneered. Kylo Ren took a moment to try and read her body language, maybe lick at her mind with his powers and taste her thoughts. No, he would save the effort. Phasma was too willful for that and the attempt would only anger her.

"This would be a good opportunity for a coup." Ren spoke his words slowly, daring her to try. He wanted her to realize these potential plots would do nothing to him.

"I have no need to deflect suspicion. If I shot you right now no one would care."

A stretch of silence punctuated her statement.

What was her game plan, meeting him alone with such a casual threat? Was she suicidal? Kylo Ren could feel her eyes meeting his through the visor of her helmet. The woman's bluntness was intriguing, and Ren found himself lost for words. She continued, not batting an eye at the lapse in conversation. "I merely want to see who is behind the trigger on their end."

"Fine. I will select two others to be my guard." He turned away as if to dismiss her.

Phasma cocked her head. "You do realize they are all trained by me. It makes no difference who selects them."

Kylo Ren looked over his shoulder, the amusement at her directness passing quickly.

"You make mistakes Phasma. One cost me an important prisoner and the other your leg. Though I suppose it was the same mistake coming back to haunt you _twice_." He tried to twist that dagger deep, and he felt satisfaction as her anger rolled over his acute senses. "I trust no one with my _protection_ , least of all you. Your guards are only fodder for my personal use." He walked away, somewhat proud that this encounter didn't end with him ripping off the Captain's shiny head.

Phasma shouted after him. "You cannot watch your back and your front at the same time Supreme Leader. A bad day is coming."

So she _was_ suicidal - or stupidly bold. So much for trying non-violent means to achieve his goals.

"For you perhaps." Kylo Ren raised a hand and waved it to the side. Captain Phasma flew into the wall of the corridor as if gravity had rotated 90 degrees. She was left puffing, the weight of the blow like a wookie sitting on her chest, pinning her to the wall. She couldn't move for several long humiliating minutes as Kylo Ren took his time wandering down the corridor, his cape disappearing around the curve of the ship.

* * *

Some hours later, Kylo Ren reached out through the void; his senses streaking across a dark mindscape like a ribbon.

" _Rey? Can you hear me?_ "

He searched in vain. There was nothing, no warmth, no voice, no echo of her spirit to find. Powerful emotions rolled through Ren at the thought of loss. It was a struggle to cage them, but he did. The girl couldn't be dead. Not after everything they had experienced. He wouldn't accept it.

The vacuum in her place washed over him like an ice bath and Kylo Ren opened his eyes, filled with that coldness.

* * *

Mon Cala was a jewel of a world, teeming with life and colour. Walking through the transparent walkways of the capital made Kylo Ren uncomfortable. He remembered the tutors of his childhood explaining the long history of this world; the battles, the alliances, the prosperous economy. He also remembered Snoke's talk of destroying it all with the Starkiller base if the Hosnian system didn't prove to be enough motivation for the New Republic to die.

What a waste it would have been. The dim sunlight danced through miles of water and undulating flora, distracting Kylo Ren with their shadows. What would Rey think of this world? He had briefly felt her wonder on Dantooine, though he had ruined that with his wanton massacre. This world would have left her breathless-

 **A shot.**

Ren felt it with the Force before he heard it. Intent to kill. His body moved reflexively to the side, his arm flying out in the direction his senses had coalesced. A bolt of energy sizzled past his ear and was redirected ever so slightly into the face of the trooper to his left. The soldier dropped like a stone and Phasma barked the order to get down.

Kylo Ren did not heed that order and stared down the tubular hallway. The pathways were obscured by the wreathing underwater gardens outside. He found what he was looking for by pushing out the limits of his amplified perception. A sniper was hidden around a distant corner, a rock formation serving as his cover. The man was creeping away, but Kylo Ren froze his body and dragged him out into his line of sight.

Mon Calamari attendants were moving about in distress, some were shouting for the proper authorities, but as soon as the captured man started his helpless glide towards the Supreme Leader, they were all looking at the sniper in sickened awe.

Kylo Ren took his time crushing the mercenary to death, blood dribbling down the lightly armoured body from ruined facial orifices. There was no screaming by anyone, only thick gurgling followed by silence and the thump of a body hitting the floor.

Kylo Ren looked to the nearest Mon Calamari attendant, eyes cold. "Lead on."

The Mon Calamari stammered a nonsensical reply before guiding the guests past the pulpy mess Kylo Ren had made. The corridor opened into a huge dome meant for conferencing. Ezra Bridger stood there, flanked by his two sons whom Kylo Ren had never met. Poe Dameron was present near the edge of the room eating some sort of Mon Calamari provided fruit and talking to the armed locals. Present was a Nautolan in great finery who had attendants with him.

"I thought this was to be a private meeting." Kylo Ren said, keeping his face carefully neutral. There were two dozen in the room - most of them Mon Calamari security. Phasma stepped out from behind Ren, her gaze assessing the guests. She lingered on Poe, who waved.

"I knew you would bring company, so I thought to do the same." Bridger replied simply.

"You killed one of my company. Perhaps I should make it even?" Kylo Ren looked over to Poe. Five blasters - three from Mon Calamari and two from the Nautolan's guards came up to aim at the Supreme Leader. It intrigued him that a mere look had them on edge. His reputation was growing.

"You have many enemies Supreme Leader. Any one of them would be willing to take a shot at you; but I wouldn't stoop so low as to try and kill you on the way to negotiate peace. At least not unsuccessfully." He lied, and Kylo Ren sneered.

"Peace? The New Republic is in chaos. The senate has done no one any favors, and the rim worlds know this. Your eradication is the only way for this galaxy to know true peace under one rule."

"Do you really believe that?" Bridger said curiously.

Kylo Ren could feel the hate rolling in the minds of his sons, while Bridger seemed far more collected. Ren had killed many brothers, sisters, daughters, sons in the aftermath of his rejection of the Jedi path. It said a lot about his opponent that he could compartmentalize his hate so effectively.

Perhaps this plan could work.

' _I believe in one thing, and I delivered her to your hands for safe keeping. Where is she?'_

Kylo Ren pushed the words into Ezra's mind. It was a difficult task, for the man was skilled in Force manipulation. Ren watched the shock of his intruding thoughts register on the old man's face. The Supreme Leader covered Ezra's slip of countenance with a spoken reply. "I am here for an exchange of information."

Ezra blinked, re-assessing his foe with narrowed eyes. This was now a game on multiple levels. Their audience could only know of one for Ren's plans to work.

"What are you willing to bargain for this… _information_ you seek?"

The pause put Kylo Ren at ease. Bridger was willing to play his game.

' _She is my collateral._ '

"I will tell you what occurred at Ryloth, with evidence." Kylo Ren said slowly as he simultaneously broadcast his thoughts into his opponent.

' _If she is kept out of harm's way, I will cripple the First Order."_

Bridger tried to keep his focus. "We have a witness to the event. They state that the First Order threatened violence unless General Leia Organa was killed." The old man's voice was softer than usual, the surprise of Kylo Ren's duplicity creating conflict within him. Kylo Ren could see the wheels of Bridger's mind turning to recalculate his position.

"Threatening to do something, and actually doing it are very different things Commander." Kylo Ren said with a grin that seemed aggressive to any that didn't know the context of the situation the way Ezra did.

' _Once I achieve my goals, she will be relinquished back to me._ ' It was easier now to push the thoughts into Ezra's perception now that the link was open. Kylo Ren could taste the intrigue in the man's mind, but it didn't last. ' _If she dies or is compromised in any way I will take_ _ **everything**_ _from you. You know I can do this. I've done it before._ _Are we agreed?_ ' Ren had to squeeze the last statement in, for Ezra's mind closed like a sprung trap.

"As a sign of good faith, I will hand over the body of General Leia Organa to you for proper burial." His eyes quickly glanced to Phasma, anticipating a reaction. She gave none. "Ryloth was an unfortunate occurrence, but one in which we didn't not bloody our hands. The investigation into the death of General Armitage Hux led us to the true killer. In exchange for this information I want to know who was elected Chancellor, where I can find them, and what their motives are." Kylo Ren didn't really care about the last part of his demands, but he knew his politically minded shareholders did.

"Well that makes things simple." The Nautolan off to the side jarred the flow of conversation as he answered for Bridger, who was still looking at Kylo Ren with an unreadable expression.

The Supreme Leader appraised this decorated stranger with interest. The man's skin was grey, faintly marbled with blue and his hair appendages were bound together in the fashion of the core worlds. His robes were delicately embroidered in colours that drew the eye and complimented his alien features. A typical noble.

"I am Chancellor, Vess Karth." He didn't extend a hand in greeting, but bowed his head respectfully. "Your inquiry into my motivations is unnecessary, I have none other than survival. My time is fraught funerals as of late, I do not want mine added to the list."

Karth smiled, confidant. Kylo Ren and his entourage didn't know what to make of this new Chancellor. The Nautolan took the silence as an opportunity to lead the conversation. "I would be very interested to know what happened on Ryloth. Acting Chancellor Deneta's body was returned to us three days ago from Lessu. For security, she wanted to remain anonymous." Karth sighed through his ever-present smile. "Not that it helped."

Kylo Ren, looked to Bridger who wasn't aware of that information. This was making things easier for the Supreme Leader.

"Ryloth was caused by a member of the Resistance. It was not a First Order attack." Kylo Ren explained coldly.

"The First Order threatened the life of the General." Poe spoke out. "One of the Taas shot her with a blaster after General Hux goaded them."

"Aa, so you're the witness. _Of course_." Kylo Ren said mockingly. "Not biased in the least."

Phasma spoke up from beside the Supreme Leader. "As you say, the shot was fired by a Senator of the New Republic. We are not responsible for the actions of Twi'lek senate members - **you are**."

"I- I never..."

Ren elaborated while the smile melted off of Vess Karth. "What followed was a **Resistance** attack. A young Jedi lost control of her powers and struck down everyone in the room." Kylo Ren looked to Poe, who was paling at the thought. "You were there and can confirm this. She will also admit this, I'm sure."

The Chancellor looked taken aback and turned to Poe Dameron, then to Bridger. "What is this? A _Jedi_ killed everyone? No… this cannot be."

Poe looked rattled as well. "He is lying."

"Can you counter his statement Dameron?" Ezra said calmly.

Poe hesitated, not meeting anyone in the eye. "I… I can't recall what happened exactly... It was madness after General Organa was shot." He remembered people screaming… and Rey. Rey yelling in a way he never heard before. It was an awful sound, like a tortured animal. "Rey would never harm anyone."

Kylo Ren's face twitched, his scar vibrant against his pale skin. "Obviously you do not know her very well."

This made Poe flush with rage. Kylo Ren felt a sense of satisfaction that was worth the tedious visit to this planet and the lousy attempt at his life.

Ezra stared at the floor, deep in thought. "We will question her when she recovers more fully from her recent ordeal." The old man shot a sideways look of displeasure at the Supreme Leader. "Is there anything else we can accomplish during this meeting? A cease fire while we conduct further peace talks perhaps?"

Kylo Ren didn't know if Bridger was joking. "No. The New Republic is a _weakness_. I will not tolerate it."

The Chancellor straightened at this. "The First Order is tyrannical - it's only asset military strength. We are a civilized collective of cultures, with no need for barbarism. We can negotiate. Use diplomacy to progress our society."

"How has that worked out for you so far?" Kylo Ren replied with some heat. "We are done here. Send someone to fetch the corpse of your General. I plan to be off world within the hour." He pivoted and started back the way he came. With hesitation, his small entourage followed.

* * *

 **A/N:** Sorry for the slow updates! As I mentioned last chapter, I had excluded this chapter for pacing, but it seemed too important to later chapters. The new Chancellor is going to be affecting the plot, and introducing him here fit better. My notes are guessing that this story will complete in at most 18 chapters :/ my original estimate was twelve. I'm sorry for the lack of Reylo~! Slow burns aren't fun for those waiting so long for updates, but I promise some good stuff ahead. Please read and review! Even if it's just to let me know you enjoy this fic. It fuels me to write the next one quicker so that I don't disappoint.


	12. Shield

**.**

 **Chapter Twelve**

* * *

Magnetized cuffs bound Rey's wrists, making it hard to find a comfortable position for her arms to rest. Her fingers could only graze the outer edges of the metal, but that didn't stop her from trying to fiddle with the locking mechanism. She knew it was no use; all the components were internal, unlike her leg brace. The clunky piece of metal around her ankle she had secretly removed five times already. It was easier to operate than half the junk she used to scrap on Jakku. The only problem was the pulse sensor… which needed to be touching flesh at all times or it would trip some sort of alarm. Rey didn't want to find out what would happen if it went off, so she kept a finger to the sensor when examining it in her cell/room.

Frustration at being unable to free herself reaching a boiling point within her. Rey spat curses and paced the dark holding cell they had placed her in. Why was she here? No one was allowed to speak to her. She was marched to this room through dimly lit corridors with no windows. Her guards held neutral faces, never meeting her eyes. She could only sense uncertainty in their minds - which she herself felt. Finn was nowhere to be found, and who knew how long it was since she had seen Chewy or Poe.

Was she to be judged? Rey knew so little of the laws of this world that her fate was completely unknown. On Jakku, murder would get you exiled. No one would trade with you. You would need to hunt or steal to survive, and every exile she had known died within months. Republic law was more complicated, but she heard it could be just as brutal.

Rey was thrown out of her thoughts with a jolt that set her heart racing. The floor began to rumble with movement. An electric thrum vibrated up her legs as a violent bright light erupted from her feet. It hurt to look down. The ceiling opened above her, revealing a stained glass bowl that was so tall, for a moment Rey mistook it for the sky. The girl found herself raised up to somewhere else. The sudden exposure to this unfamiliar room made her feel vulnerable and she shielded her face against the light with her elbow. She could barely make out the silhouettes of people all around her. Figures seated in a circle. Their faces were not friendly.

Rey straightened up. She was a caged animal. She sought familiarity and only found the face of the old man from last night. Ezra Bridger. He was standing whilst everyone else was perched on spindly chairs. She focused on him, seeking answers.

"Rey from Jakku. You have been called to this tribunal to answer for crimes committed against the New Republic." Bridger said slowly, as if coaxing her to remain calm. It wasn't working. Rey was anything but calm.

There was a woman dressed in white sitting next to him. Bridger lowered himself into his seat, while the woman stood and glanced down at her data board.

"You have been declared responsible for the deaths of: Agapos the tenth, Senator Ann Broul, Frewalla Bartrude, Bobba Coal, Senator Chinchin of twelve, King Thom Courtsilius, Darunalle, Senator Korran Deneta, Drugoul, Ghanna, General Armitage Hux, Senator Ameli Korsa, Senator Charn Lune, Senator Marchant of the Blue Moon, Queen Sosha Soruna, Sorillia of the Blue Moon, General Hera Syndulla, Baan Taa, Senator Luma Taa, Senator Ryhn Taa, Senator Phi Phi Theta, Lushia Thornwilde, Captain Varco, Tess Verna, Lanco Verna, Protorate Wan, Senator Ivid Wu, Tom Wu, Prince Quar and Senator Shevreen Zarillion." She paused after the list of names to reach down and grab a glass of water. She sipped it quietly before continuing. "What do you have to say in your defense?"

Rey was struck dumb.

One moment was easy to put behind her… but all those names - those were **people**. She was responsible for ending the lives of _that many_? Her mind flickered with the memory of the lively people mingling below her while she descended the stairs at Lessu, Leia at her side. It was a crowd. She killed a _crowd_. How had she so easily discarded this?

She opened her mouth to speak, but couldn't get the words out. She found her mouth dry, her throat tight. What could she possibly say against that list? I'm sorry? It won't happen again?

A voice from behind her said loudly, "Do you deny killing them?"

Rey slowly twisted around. It was a strange man with tentacles for hair and large dark eyes. Rey had never seen his race before. The aquatic types tended to avoid the deserts of Jakku. She tried to swallow what little moisture remained in her mouth to form a reply.

"N-No. I… I killed them. I didn't mean to… but I… I did."

The Nautolan looked heart broken as he whispered, "I thought you were a Jedi."

Rey hesitated, trying to look at the ground to suss out her thoughts, but the light from below was painfully bright and forced her head up. "I was barely an apprentice... I… am not the Jedi everyone thinks I am. " There was remorse in her words, which brought forth curiosity from her audience. Rey could sense it like a distant melody. Was this her bond with the Force? It felt stronger now; it was a part of her, ever since she peered into the mirror at Atch-To. Rey looked to the Nautolan, and found she could see his determination. She looked around the room, searching faces. All of them. Determined. Angry. **Disappointed**.

"I was trained by Luke Skywalker for a handful of days. I have had these abilities for…" Was it only weeks? Perhaps a few months? Her simple life on Jakku felt like an entire lifetime away. "A short a time. I did not know what I was capable of. I did not mean to kill anyone." The obvious desperation in her features made a few of them relax.

"Do you admit that you are a danger to those around you?" The lady in white asked, her voice neutral.

Rey pivoted back to face her. "I better understand my limits. I believe that since that night I have mastered the Force… in my own way."

" _Mastered_? You have nowhere near the appropriate experience or the training." A deep voice from her right scoffed. "I wouldn't even call you _skilled_ , given what you have done. What would you call yourself? Sith, or Jedi? We have seen evidence of one path, but not the other."

Rey couldn't make out this stranger's face, since he sat beside one of the light sources.

"Neither." The girl answered quickly. "I chose a path in-between. The Jedi and the Sith have been used in warfare since their legends began." Rey fixed her posture so that she was standing more like General Leia and less like a cornered animal. "I will not be any side's weapon. I am here to bring balance, not victory." A power swirled within her, strengthening her words, rattling their preconceptions. Rey sensed fear joining their curiosity, like a drumbeat beneath a song.

The small stretch of silence came to an end when the woman in white set down her data pad and folded her hands before her.

"You must be made accountable for your actions." she said sternly.

"I… I do not know what I can do to make up for what I have done." Rey said meekly.

"Queen Sosha was my sister." A smaller figure stood from her seat - a child swathed in embroidered sheers. "I will see justice for her murder."

"For a pacifist, there is a lot of blood in her wake." Another figure said to the left of the child from Naboo. "I may be best to imprison her for an appropriate amount of time."

"What amount of time is appropriate for the loss of 29 lives?" A young Twi'lek stood up and gestured to Rey in the center of their glowing cage. "A lifetime in chains seems a pitiful equivalent."

"Nothing we do will bring back the dead Senators, Ashla. This girl is a First Order target, perhaps the enemy of our enemy can still remain a friend." Bridger said quietly. "Her powers are great. They could be useful."

"I will not be wielded like a sword." Rey said, nearly stamping her foot with her stubbornness. "Even guilty of the crimes I committed, I will not be made to kill even more people. Enough have died already."

Two others made to speak, but were silenced when the Nautolan stood.

"Enough. I have decided." He tilted his head at Rey, appraising her. "You will not be made to fight. That is your right, even for one in your situation."

Rey untensed, wondering on what penal moon she would be forced to live out the rest of her days. Is this what Kylo Ren meant for her? She would be locked away like a keepsake until he came to claim her? Would she always be someone's property to buy and sell when convenient?

"You will lose your freedom and be made, not into a weapon, but into a shield for the New Republic." Chancellor Vess Karth smiled at the puzzlement on Rey's face. "You will be at my side, detering assassins and ensuring I come to no harm."

At this, more than half the figures encircling Rey vaulted to their feet. They began to verbally trip over one another to express their indignation that a murderer be turned into bodyguard. There was a shout that this was not justice, another shout that this plan was outrageous. Rey merely stood in stunned silence.

She would have rather been sent to a penal moon.

"Quiet! This is my decision." His voice cut into their caphony and silence answered him. "Rey will be watched by two of my guards at all times and restricted to the areas I occupy." He put his hands into his voluminous sleeves and smiled at Rey whose mouth hung open from the thought of being the New Chancellors personal escort. "She will need to be prepared of course. Bridger, send her to my executive assistant. Is there anything else we need to discuss?"

There was a moment of awful quiet. It looked like a few council members were edging forward to speak, but Vess Karth cut them off again. "Good. I dismiss this tribunal. I am needed elsewhere."

He turned and Rey jumped as the floor beneath her began to lower, and the light at her feet went dark. She heard snippets of loud gossip before the ceiling closed over her, plunging into darkness and quiet yet again.

* * *

Kylo Ren was not as adept as Rey when it came to joining his mind to hers. It hurt his pride to admit it, but there was something different about her abilities versus his. He had tried numerous times to contact her - to see if she was all right. When they last parted she had been so broken. He seethed at the need to entrust her life to a reckless fly-boy. Poe Dameron had been at Mon Cala though, so Rey must have made it somewhere safe.

During one attempt to bridge their minds, Kylo Ren had flickered into the edge of her thoughts. There was a storm of grief and guilt where her spirit should have been. Kylo Ren thought he could see her, crouched in the dark edges of his perception. Her shoulders shook, back curled so that the shape of her spine showed against her skin. She was crying… but he couldn't see her tears, nor hear her voice. Her anguish was so heavy, it sucked the air from his lungs.

Kylo Ren ached to hold her. To feel the warmth of her skin. To tell her that everything would be okay. He was going to raze the First Order and anyone else that would dare do her harm. He just needed more time.

The vision of her passed, and future efforts to reach her were made in vain. Kylo Ren threw himself into his schemes with more fervor. He couldn't keep what was left of Ben Solo alive on his own and the faster he worked the sooner he could start anew. Every day he felt less like the saboteur he needed to be, and more like the Supreme Leader everyone viewed him as. Development of chemical weapons, arms dealing, slave trafficking, bribes to politicians… he was getting good at this life now that he needed to be.

Rey had forgiven him his past atrocities… would she be able to stomach one more?

* * *

Three Days.

She spent three days being an indentured servant for a politician that couldn't stop showing her off to anyone he could find. It was too much to handle, but the more Rey acted out, the more attention Vess Karth garnered - which is what he wanted. Apathy seeped into Rey's heart. She lumbered after the Chancellor, a monkey in tight clothes, gliding from place to place.

He was training her like an animal; bow here, show your abilities there, speak only when spoken to, smile more. Rey was stubborn at first - Karth only found it endearing. He would humiliate her in the company of powdered magistrates and bored debutantes by revealing her scavenger origins and lack of proper education. When she behaved, he would rewarding her with privacy and promises of visits to her Resistance friends.

What grinded the shattered remains of Rey's spirit was that it worked. She went through the motions - acted as the perfect companion to get to her friends. It was only a couple minutes staring out Ezra Bridger's window while the Chancellor talked business, but it was _something_ to her. Bridger's new office overlooked the hanger where Poe and Finn were working that day. Watching them talk from far away made Rey feel sick. Would this be her life now? A slave, being dragged around, living off of brief glimpses of her friends?

It wouldn't be enough. She knew it wouldn't be enough. It would only be a matter of time before she cracked… and did what? Became the bomb everyone treated her as?

Poe looked up, making Rey's attention snap to the dot of his face. Rey couldn't make out the features of his expression, but she knew he was looking right at her. Finn stopped what he was doing and turned to face her as well. Both of them raised an arm, fingers widespread in hello. Rey touched the window and tried not to cry.

Karth had to take her by the arm to let her know the meeting was over, and that they needed to go. Rey felt her heart was ripping out of her chest as she moved from the window and morphed back into her worthless servant persona.

* * *

White. Blinding, all encompassing white. Rey felt buried in it. Her legs tried to move, but it was like wading through quicksand. It was cold. Colder than anything Rey had ever known. She couldn't feel her skin, couldn't speak through the quaking of her teeth. She blinked away flakes of ice and tried to see where she was going.

The whiteness cleared and before her was so much red. Blooms of it, centered with bodies and debris. She had found the aftermath of a battle. There was too much silence. Rey couldn't hear the fires in the distant wreckages, or the howl of the wind. It was like she was in a bubble, impervious to the world.

She continued her frozen march, eyes wide as she glanced from corpse to corpse. Eventually she stopped at the edge of a larger bloody circle. It's center held a mess of black clothes and hair. A pale face stared up at the sky, eyes a vivid brown. Leia's eyes.

* * *

Rey woke with a start, soaked with sweat. Her limbs flailed, seeking solid surfaces to orient herself. The darkness was so enveloping compared to the stark white of her already fading dream. She woke properly on the floor, urging her breathing to slow. Her heart felt like it was lodged firmly in her throat. She could feel her pulse through her ears.

A strange sound was at her window. A loud sizzle… accompanied by a bright red light. It must have been what woke her. The girl dragged herself to her feet, blanket serving as a protective cape while she grabbed hold of a drape and pulled it open.

She had to put a hand to her mouth to stifle a gasp.

Poe and Finn were hovering outside in a speeder. The sound was Finn trying to carve a hole through the window with Kylo Ren's lightsaber. Poe was anxiously looking about, making sure they weren't getting spotted. The drape rolling open alerted Finn, who smiled tightly. BB-8 beeped a greeting that could barely be heard over the crackle of the saber. The driod shot out a suction cup to pull away the glass that Finn had just cut. It dangled below the speeder and the sound of the street floated in.

Rey looked to her door, which led to the common spaces of Chancellor Karth's suites. His bedroom would be far enough away that Rey wouldn't have to worry, but she was certain there were two guards outside her door. She felt it. Could they hear what Finn had done?

"Rey, C'mon. Take my hand." Finn reached through the hole. Rey stood dumbfounded, thinking of the consequences. She took a step back and shook her head.

"You'll get in trouble. I don't want anyone else to suffer because of me."

Poe sniggered behind Finn. "We came looking for trouble."

Rey looked to the anklet around her foot. The tracker in there that would doom them all. In less than a minute she removed it. Rey had taken it off a few times - she was a scavenger after all, and the anklet was just another piece of mechanised junk. She knew from her earlier examinations that there was a sensor that monitored her pulse. If she took her finger off the sensor, they would know she removed it. She moved closer to the window and explained this to Finn.

Her rescuers looked to each other and BB-8 beeped at a solution that Rey didn't quite catch. Finn poked his head into the hole. Now that the edges had cooled he could grip the edges to not fall through. "We'll be right back. Pack whatever stuff you have. The four of us will be going to a bar to meet Chewy, then we're getting off this rock and not looking back."

"But what about-" Rey started, but was cut off as Finn pulled back and Poe slid back into the pilot's seat.

"Two minutes!" Finn said as they dropped to the alleyways far below.

Rey watched them disappear, the currents of air blowing her hair back as she peered over the side of the curved window. She ducked back inside and snapped the anklet to her wrist to keep her hands free. She threw the blanket from her shoulders and searched her rooms for something that couldn't be described as a "gown". She stripped in a hurry, hoping Poe and Finn wouldn't come back and find her half-dressed. She heard them return just as she pulled on an embellished blue tunic over red leggings. She looked like a child entertainer in such bright clothing.

Finn threw a small, angry mammal into the room. "Will your tracker fit on this guy?"

Rey caught the spitting cat-like creature with the Force and hovered it near. It was not happy with it's lot in life. Rey could sympathize. "I think so… I'm not sure if the fur will get in the way…"

"Well it's all we got. Hurry up."

Rey took her anklet and snapped it around the critter's furry waist before letting it go. With a hiss it bolted under her bed, it's eyes glowing in the shadows. As Rey was watching it, two pairs of hands reached through the window and pulled her into the speeder. She gasped, the heights they were working over were tremendous and she didn't have time to think about it. Rey felt so much vertigo she promptly sat down.

Finn strapped her in her seat and sat down beside her as Poe gunned it and descended into the lower streets of Coruscant. What would the New Republic think about her escaping in the dead of night? How could she possibly fix this?

* * *

 **A/N** : I told myself I'd finish this story but I've been so busy and writer's block as settled in. I know where I want the story to go, but I can't find a plausible way to get there without throwing the whole universe into a fit. I plan to just... update and then revise the whole story at a later date to make the tone, flow and plot a little less janky.


	13. The Undercity

Poe had returned from Mon Cala sombre and restless. Kylo Ren's words were heavy in his mind. Poe was there at the summit, he was standing right by Rey... he remembered the chaos on the stage, then Rey's terrible cry. There were the vague memories of an explosion but everything else was lost. His mind was blank.

Poe tried to associate the power to kill a chunk of the senate with the weakened girl he dragged from _The Finalizer._ When Rey was sprawled in his lap she looked like something spat out of the underworld - a weedy vagrant hovering near death. A little turbulence on the Silencer probably would have ended her life. It didn't compute.

But that didn't mean it wasn't true.

Poe mood didn't improve on Coruscant. It was evident that General Leia Organa's legacy was in shambles. The Resistance dissolved. Once word got out about Rey's hand in the massacre at Lessu, several members went back to their lives - their faith in the Jedi broken. Most of Poe's friends, and those loyal to Leia's cause, joined Ezra Bridger's ranks. Poe found himself swept up in it, his mind unable to focus on where he needed to be.

* * *

Finn came to Poe's door in the middle of the night, agitated and unable to wait until morning. Thinking it was some sort of emergency, Poe opened the door barely dressed with his hair disheveled. The soldier barged past him, babbling about The Force, Kylo Ren and Rey.

Poe fixed him a drink from his sideboard - a luxury provided by Bridger to try and coerce the pilot into staying. It was working. Alcohol was becoming a prized commodity with the latest current events.

Finn took the drink and stopped talking just long enough to up-end the glass of whiskey in one swig. He finished the summary of his visit with Rey, which took nearly twenty minutes with his opinions thrown in, then he deflated into an armchair. He was exhausted both mentally and physically.

Neither man could make sense of Rey's side of the story.

Finn was worried it came from a broken mind. Poe settled on the idea that the Force had something to do with it. The two of them knew it moved strongly in Rey. Poe wanted to believe Rey's side of the story. It made more sense to him than anyone given the ease of their escape on _The Finalizer._ Rey also had no reason to lie… and Leia thought her son capable of turning from the darkside.

Finn didn't agree.

"I know Kylo Ren. He's… **unstable**. A blood-thirsty killer. To think he has some sort of grip on Rey…" Finn moaned, shaking with anguish and rage. "We should have never let her go to Lessu. I should have pushed her to shove off with me in the Millennium Falcon."

"You know that would not have happened." Poe said gently, pacing near his mini-bar. "Rey was scared out of her wits, but she still went. The General and her are cut from the same cloth. Stubborn to do what is right, even if it isn't easy."

"Poe. I like you. It wouldn't have been easy to leave you and the General in the dust, but it sure feels like it was the better option." His tone was apologetic, though the effect was lost as he chewed on the ice cubes of his drink. It made Poe wince as Finn continued to talk around them. "Big things happen when this Force crap is added… and lately it's not been good. If we keep her out of it... if we let her live a life separate from all of this bullshit-"

"Then the First Order wins Finn." The pilot pulled a sweater over his head to make himself more comfortable. "Realistically, she is the only thing between us and annihilation. You've seen what she can do. She could potentially put Kylo Ren in his place."

" **You know what he did to her!** That's not equality… that's _evil_. Evil taking what it wants. Evil playing with **my friend**." Finn exclaimed, slamming his empty glass down with more force than necessary. "She is the first thing I have EVER cared about. I am not going to stand by and watch it happen to her again!"

Poe understood. How could he not? He only knew Rey for a few weeks, but in that time he had grown fond of her. There was a lot on her shoulders, and for a young desert rat she handled it like a champ.

But they could do nothing. Both Poe and Finn were not happy about it. She practically the property of the New Republic. What choices did they have?

* * *

Rey's trial commenced and Finn and Poe could not intervene. It took them days to learn about her recruitment into Varth Kess' entourage.

They fought to visit her - it was not allowed. They tried to send her messages - they were refused. They stormed into Bridger's office and demanded her right to be present at General Leia Organa's funeral, but it was denied and they both were reprimanded for their continued meddling.

"We need to get her out." Poe said firmly, eyes staring at the figure standing in the window of Bridger's office. It was Rey. He would know that girl anywhere. Finn was looking on with a melancoly expression, but he perked up at Poe's words.

"That's what I've been saying!" Finn said, waving a wrench and glancing up at the office.

"If we get her out, she will be a fugitive for the rest of her life…" The pilot said quietly. He raised one of his hands in a wave, letting Rey know they were there for her. He watched her hand press to the glass, he couldn't make out her face.

"We'll manage." Finn said, echoing the gesture.

Poe looked to the former Stormtrooper. There was no question that Finn was going to throw himself into the same pyre as Rey. Finn tried to run from every fight except the ones involving Rey.

Well… that wasn't entirely true.

Poe glanced to their right and caught Rose tinkering on a ship a few yards from them. He remembered their encounter on Krait. Perhaps it was just damsels in distress that got Finn's blood aflame.

"Yeah. You're right. We will." Poe said, turning back to his work. If Finn and Rey were to be outlaws, he didn't want to be left out.

"We should talk to Chewbacca." Finn started assembling the engine they had taken apart. "I'm sure he'll be on board for a rescue operation."

Poe nodded, deep in thought. He pulled pulled out a faulty coupling and frowned. "Rey's the only problem we'll have. She has a bit of a hero-complex."

Finn remembered her trying to stop the Millenium Falcon on Debron and grunted. "She's not going to want us to get involved." He paused, then started nodding his head to his next stream of thoughts. "Not a rescue op then. A kidnapping."

Poe laughed, "A kidnapping. Agreed."

* * *

"I know what you are up to." The words echoed down the gleaming hallway.

The Supreme Leader sensed the uncertainty in Phasma's voice. So the Captain caught up with him again; how unsurprising.

Kylo Ren straightened from toying with the console outside of his rooms. He had been checking if someone was recording his movements. It was fitting that when Ren finally pulled the tracker from the inner workings of his door the constantly interfering Captain appeared.

"I'm busy killing fools who get in my way." The man said cooly. "Of course you would know. I hear Lieutenant Kartos was once your cadet. Shame he was caught overseeing my communications." He dropped the device in his hand; crushing it under his heel as if it were routine.

"You've been accessing essential systems. I want to know why." Phasma's eyes never flickered to the broken tech on the floor.

It irritated Ren that Phasma was not afraid to cross him. The captain was bold - the most endearing form of stupid. Ren did not find it attractive. He tried to use his powers to draw on her emotions for answers while they chatted. It was proving difficult.

"I recently learned that I can use the Force to rip limbs from the body." Kylo Ren said lazily, pausing for the purposes of intimidation. It did not work well with Phasma who just stood silently. "At least Kartos was good for something, in the end."

Phasma's helmet revealed nothing about the thoughts tumbling through her head. Kylo Ren could not reach her feelings. She was willful today, her mind fresh from a whetstone.

How grating.

"I had been underestimating you." Her tone lowered, becoming cautious. "I thought you were nothing but a Sith runt on a short leash. When Snoke died I thought you'd lose it… but here we are." The bite in her words evaporated as she came at Kylo Ren with…

Respect?

No. He must be be mistaken. He probed again and tasted it between them. She admired him.

This was an unexpected turn of events.

"You've taken the reins, rid yourself of General Hux… and now you're posturing for something else. I want to be on the winning side of this impending war. I'm here to make sure that I am."

Kylo Ren sneered, rejecting Phasma's attempt to mollify their private war. "You have nothing to worry about. The First Order is stronger than any force the New Republic could possibly summon."

"I worry Kylo Ren, because I'm not sure where you stand." Phasma slid into a defensive stance. It was so subtle that Kylo Ren barely noticed it, but it made him loosen his fingers to feel the Forces at his beck and call - just in case.

"I know where you come from, who you really are." She said finally.

Kylo Ren let slip an expression of surprise. How could she know? That was a closely held secret Snoke was meticulous at keeping hidden.

Reflexively, Ren reached out with his abilities to grasp Phasma by the neck. The force of it dangled the soldier from her toes. Ren missed when such actions made him feel powerful, but now he only felt threatened.

"Dangerous to admit - if your sources are true." He hissed.

Phasma's helmet tumbled free as her hands gripped at her throat. The crash of it hitting the ground reverberated down the hall with her gurgles of pain. In between tiny gasps, she sputtered, " _D-Dameron._ "

Kylo Ren muttered a curse and went to break Phasma's neck, but hesitated. No. This was a trap. Somehow he was being played. He drew the Captain closer to him to better inspect her motives.

"You of all idiots know I would not let you live with that sort of information." It was more of a question then a statement. He listened to her wheeze for a while longer as he ruminated. What could she possibly gain with that information? It wouldn't change anything. At worse it would make him appear weak to the First Order, but that could be easily disproved. No one would dare contest him - not when he had been forewarned of their knowledge.

Ren loosened his grip on the woman and she fell to her knees. The direct approach was best with Phasma.

"What do you hope to accomplish here Captain?"

Phasma allowed herself a moment before righting herself. Her facials burns were a livid red from puffing. She looked Ren in the eye.

"You're a tough son-of-a-bitch with those powers of yours. Snoke was holding you back. These last few weeks have been… interesting."

Kylo Ren stared back at the woman, carefully neutral.

"You're the most powerful man in the galaxy, with a loose hold on the biggest militia. Let me strengthen that. Your only weakness is the loyalty of those beneath you, and that is _my_ strength."

"FN-2187 was not so loyal, and he is proving to be very effective in getting in my way - same as you." Kylo Ren countered simply.

"He's part of the deal. I support you - uniting our investors, faculties and troops… and you get me FN-2187. The Jedi girl is with him. Easy targets if we combine our abilities."

Kylo Ren thought about it. Briefly. "Who else knows of my origins."

Phasma laughed, her voice still strained from his attack.

"I am no idiot. That information is what's keeping me alive." She retrieved her helmet from the floor and took her time putting it back on. "Let's just say if you kill me now, the galaxy would know who you are." She looked to the Supreme Leader.

Ren's face paled as a surge of vertigo struck him. He stumbled slightly. For a moment he felt both sick and faint, but it passed as swiftly as it came. He glanced at Phasma, wondering if such a strange attack came from her.

"Are you alright?" Phasma asked with more curiosity than concern.

So no. Not her. The Supreme Ruler put a hand to his head, terribly confused. Was he poisoned? Another dizzying wave washed over him and he turned to the door of his quarters. It took two tries to put a hand to the sensor. The door swished open. The nausea doubled. Was he having a stroke? He couldn't trust the medical staff… not while Phasma still had the upper hand and the thirst to be in his place.

"Stop meddling in my affairs Phasma. Then I will… consider... your offer." He said slowly, to keep a slur out of his voice. It barely worked.

"Sir…? Should I send someone…?" She didn't get to finish her sentence as Kylo Ren practically dived into his room and shut the door in Phasma's face. The room was spinning. What was happening to him?

Kylo Ren put a hand on his desk, then another over his eyes. This all was familiar somehow...

 **Rey.**

He sensed her presence and straightened despite his condition.

She was laying on his bed, one arm dangling over the side and the other resting on her chest. She looked strange in bright colours - blue and red. She had a vacant expression on her face, and Kylo Ren could hear a soft hiccup.

"Rey?" He said stupidly, trying to clear his head. It was a struggle to put two and two together. "Are you… drunk?"

"Whatteryadoin' here…" She moaned, her noodle-like limbs moving to her face to cover her flushed skin. "Last person I need…"

Kylo Ren was both irritated and relieved to see her. The last few times he searched her out she had been cloaked in despair. Her state was bleeding into him though, and it was not a pleasant experience.

He crept over to his bed. His thoughts were tangled in a mixture of puzzlement and concern at the effects her abilities were having on him. At least Rey looked better than their last encounter. That was good.

It was a struggle to keep the nausea down. Kylo Ren never drank. His father once gave him some ale, but he had been too young and threw it up all over the ship. It was the last time he touched alcohol.

Rey snorted in laughter. "… it got everywhere… how old were you…?"

"Seven." Kylo Ren muttered, less amused. "Stay out of my memories."

"I can't control… this." She grimaced and closed her eyes. "I didn't want to see you."

"Because I told the senate the truth? Should I have lied? Told them _I_ did it? Where is that Jedi sense of responsibility? That knightly accountability for your actions?"

Rey stared at the ceiling, "You could have said nothing."

Kylo Ren settled across from Rey, his legs under him as if he were meditating against the foot of his bed. "The Sith isn't the only faction that draws on emotions for strength. Bridger's army grows with the thought of taking the First Order down. I needed their anger to disperse."

"To manipulate them," she spat bitterly.

"Yes. As your own feelings are manipulating you."

Rey took a moment to try and clear her mind. She felt like she was sinking under a heavy weight. She stared back at the ceiling hopelessly. "I thought I had forgiven myself… but their names… they… they haunt me."

"You get used to it." Kylo Ren countered, glancing up to the ceiling as well; wondering if she was staring at the polished black of his room, or something else entirely. They fell into an uncomfortable silence.

"Where did they put you?" Kylo Ren asked quietly. "I heard you are the Chancellor's bodyguard." It would have taken a lot of political finessing to accomplish placing a criminal so close to the head of the New Republic with minimal fallout; if you could call every news headline around the galaxy knowing her name _minimal_.

Rey said nothing, her eyes avoiding Kylo Ren's.

Ren reached out with his mind to probe hers, his hand hovering over her reddened face. Her eyes rolled upwards, her will compromised.

He entered a rushing river. Thoughts, feelings and memories flooded into him uncontrolled. His skills kept him firmly in place, but even so it was overwhelming. He let the current pass over and around him, only glimpsing recent moments of interest. He gleaned that she was angry, afraid, and guilty. Guilty that she was endangering her friends, guilty that she wasn't strong enough to save lives… guilty that she couldn't stop a war.

"Misery doesn't suit you." Ren said softly, moving his hand back and looking down at her with sorrow.

"You're not allowed to be the-" She hiccuped and covered her face with her hands. "-only emotional one in the universe."

Kylo Ren smiled despite everything. A small part of him had wondered if his inability to contact her was permanent. Now that it was proved otherwise, he felt at peace. Perhaps it was because she was the only one in the galaxy that didn't want to murder him.

"I told you to put it all into the past."

"It doesn't work. Ben… you know it doesn't work." She let out a stuttered breath and looked up at him from near his thigh. "To keep moving forward, I chose to ignore what I had done. I was almost o-okay with it. I told myself that d-dwelling on it was w-wasting time… but I caused so much _hurt_. Those people had family… friends." She felt ill.

Kylo Ren tried to focus his vision on her, but she was moving without moving. Just how much did this girl drink?

"Caring doesn't change the past. You're letting your emotions get the better of you. Get to _us_. Look at the state of you."

" _Ha_ … if Master Luke could see me now. What a shitty Jedi I have become. Or Leia… she would h-hate me. I messed everything up."

"I doubt she would hate you." Kylo Ren whispered. After everything he had done, his mother had still loved him. He felt the strength of it when she died. "And you're no Jedi. As long as I live, there will never be another Jedi."

"You haven't killed the order. Not r-really." She blurted, then slapped a hand over her mouth. Rey never thought herself as a talkative drunk, but back on Jakku she had no secrets to tell.

Kylo Ren stared at her blankly, a single eyebrow slowly arching towards his hairline.

"The Jedi texts… and me. I- I still have my abilities. Even if don't agree with the Jedi way of life… the texts are helpful to me. I took them from the temple. Luke wouldn't have agreed so I just… took them. The books wanted me to take them." She started to ramble, speaking quickly since she was worried about what Kylo Ren would do with this information. Her hiccups made her seem incoherent - though maybe she was. She forced herself into a sitting position against Kylo Ren's headboard in an attempt to explain herself better.

"Ben, listen, the books… they tell a different story. The First Jedi are not like the J-Jedi in the legends… like the o-ones that went into battle and served the Republic." She hiccuped again, "Jedi Knights aren't supposed to take sides… they were to be neutral. Always neutral, like nature itself. They were not soldiers, but scholars. Masters of the Force."

She mimed flipping through a book while watching the blank face of Kylo Ren. "I don't want to be anyone's weapon. I just want to know what I am. _Why_ I am. Don't you?"

Kylo Ren's expression was stone, but he cast his eyes downward in thought. It was enough for Rey to know that he wasn't dismissive of her ideals, so she continued.

"The knowledge is in the books, and I need help to understand it. I need you to teach me."

"No. The Jedi Order was a mistake. It should never have existed." Ren said sharply.

Rey threw her hands up, her voice growing loud and angry. "Then call it something different! The Neutral Order! The Grey Knights. The Force Masters..." She rubbed her forehead. "... or _something_. Something entirely different, because that is what it is! Killing all the Jedi does not kill the Force. It is in both of us… and others. For good, for evil… it doesn't matter, it needs to be contained." She lowered her arms and now gestured to Ren. "What if someone like Snoke comes out of the dark? Finds a child and turns him into a weapon for his own aims? Who could stop that?"

Ren said nothing, his eyes focused on his bedspread.

Rey's heart was pounding. " **Us**. It has to be us. We have to be there to keep the balance. Someone has to." She finished with conviction.

Kylo Ren closed his eyes to protect himself against Rey's determined stature. Despite the nativity of her thoughts, there was a part of her that was right. Uncontested history would just repeat itself.

"Fine."

"F-Fine?" Rey stuttered, taken aback.

"As long as it is **us**." He murmered, echoing her stubbornness.

Rey glowed with a flicker of happiness. Kylo Ren created that. It was one small thing he could be proud of in his huge wake of mistakes. The two of them took a long moment to stare at each other, realizing that they just created a common goal. A future. The moment was quickly cut by Rey leaning over the side of his bed and throwing up.

Kylo Ren was used to much more disgusting things hitting the floors of _the Finalizer_ , so he looked on in interest. "It's… on _my_ floor."

"Sorry… if it helps some is on mine too… "

Kylo Ren thought that curious. Was this girl capable of bending space? There were some ancient Sith lords with similar powers, at least in the legends that Snoke spoke of. How much of her was here? Actually here? Could she be trained to use this ability… or was it only applicable to him?

The Supreme Ruler shook his head to clear it. There were more important things to discuss right now.

"Rey. I need you to listen. My plan here is almost finished. I need you to get a message to Bridger next time you see him."

This made Rey pause whilst wiping her mouth from her mess. Kylo Ren sensed something a miss and he skirted the edges of her mind. He saw the seedy hotel she was staying in, the fractured mirrored ceiling and grubby floor.

These were no Republic quarters or prison holdings. These were rooms like those in the Undercity.

It _was_ the Undercity.

"Rey. Where are you?" Ren said with some heat. His eyes were closed, fingers reaching through the air to delve deeper for answers. He wandered through fresh memories thick with liquor. Rey sat hooded in a booth while Dameron and FN 2187 discussed an escape plan. He could taste the spirits on Rey's tongue, hear her protesting the riskier portions of the plan, feel the anxiety of being left alone in a crowded place where she knew no one.

" **No!** Rey! What have you done!?" He pulled out of her mind to find her vacant and staring. She blinked away his intrusion and blushed with the indignity of having her head invaded yet again.

"They came for me. I r-really had no say in the matter."

Kylo Ren struggled to contain his anger. "I needed you near Bridger! You were to send him a message!"

Rey was bewildered. "What message? You were using me? Again?"

"Oh you **fool**. You easily manipulated _fool_! I have plans in motion to attack the Pantora system soon. Bridger needs to mobilize his army ahead of time to stop me from creating too many casualties." He looked up to see that Rey was struggling to follow his sentences. The soporific effects of alcohol was tugging on her connection. Ren hissed angrily and put a finger to her forehead, placing his vision of the attack in her mind.

" _I will invest almost everything in this fight… so the New Republic will need to have the manpower to take it. I have created a problem with our shields. We will be able to activate them, but when we lower them there will be an error in the energy venting process that will destroy their generators. When we go to raise shields again, they will malfunction and the cruisers will be defenseless. We will be forced to go on the offensive._ "

Rey saw the battle Ren was envisioning. It was a nightmare. There were exploding fighters, and cities big enough to be seen from space smoldering from orbital attacks. She could see the faces of the dying. Their cries of anguish... screams of fear.

Ren's forehead furrowed, for that was not born of _his_ mind.

"What could be worth all this death...? Is there no other way?" She asked, her stomach clenching yet again.

" _No. Listen closely Rey! I will board a fighter and escape to Orto Plutonia and wait out the battle. I needed you to explain to Bridger this plan and get him to extract me._ "

Rey opened and closed her mouth like a fish, the images vanishing as Kylo Ren straightened in his position across from her. "W-Will it work?"

"Only parts of it need to work. Enough of the First Order needs to die that they become a manageable threat. With this attack we will have created enough pain and suffering across the galaxy that many will rally to the New Republic. Our hold on Rim world governments will crumble; they will not want to be enemies of the New Republic. The First Order will have to look elsewhere for resources. They will become desperate - unstable."

Rey's heart was heavy. This would mean a declaration of war. Was this how they saved the galaxy? Was there really no other way, or was this just the easiest way the Kylo Ren could find?

"No Rey. There is no other path, so focus on this one." He said, picking up on her thoughts. "You need to go back. Speak to Bridger. If they don't get there in time I _will_ destroy Pantora. If they don't know about the shields, I will destroy their armies… and if they don't know _anything_ … I lose my chance to be something other than Kylo Ren."

Rey nodded, understanding. "I will go then. I will get to Bridger."

"You're drunk… and in the bowels of Coruscant's Undercity." Kylo Ren said sternly.

"It is not like I'm in danger from anyone here." Rey said, flapping her hand dismissively. She got up from Kylo Ren's bed and grinned. "Besides, I'm armed." She pulled out a familiar hilt from a compartment on her belt.

"My Saber…" Kylo Ren said wistfully. She threw it up in the air, but it disappeared from his perception. He watched as her glazed eyes followed it to the floor, her hand grasping nothing but air. She turned red again.

Kylo Ren merely stared at her unblinking. "You are not venturing out like that. You will get lost, captured, or killed."

Rey shook her head. "No! I can take care of myself…"

"It can wait." He reached up and grabbed her arm, forgetting that she was not really there. The contact felt like touching a live wire. His mind exploded with light. There was the sensation of pain. Intense, radiating from his chest. A world of white and red. It was gone, replaced by his laughter. He was standing in the Millennium Falcon holding her hand. He fought the images, not comprehending what they were. He focused on Rey.

She was a huge conduit, the Force flowing freely through her like an artery direct from the heart of the universe. He felt a fraction of this raw power on Dantooine, but now it was so much more. He retracted his hand quickly, reeling from the contact. What _was_ she?

Rey blinked at him, not understanding what transpired. She felt like she was in a dream.

"I keep dreaming of you... are we dreaming now?" Rey asked, swaying on her feet.

Kylo Ren stood from his bed, his body moving close to Rey's. She stumbled backwards to keep a fair distance between them - wary of him. Still nervous still of their history. Ren reached out as if he were coaxing a startled animal. "Not yet." He answered the question she already forgot she asked.

"Ben-" She started, but Kylo Ren brushed her forehead with his hand. Her eyes fluttered shut and he caught her as she fell. The moment her weight was in his hands, she disappeared, dropping into the space above his bed. Kylo Ren regarded his hands with slight shock. Their connection had broken.

The hazy cloud that obstructed his thoughts faded away and he realized how silly the action had been. Hopefully Rey had hit the bed where ever she was.

* * *

 **A/N:** I have struggled to write this chapter for soooo long. There were scenes I wrote, then cut, then put back in, then cut again. I might put them back in when I go back and fix the flow of these latest chapters. Sorry the scenes are jumping around out of chronological order. I may fix that in my "great revision". Two more chapters left by my reckoning. I'm aiming to get this sucker finished so that I can polish it to a shine.  
Please read and review! Let me know if you enjoy this fic. There are a few stories out there that make my drivel seem like utter garbage. Not helping the writer's block you guys!


	14. To the Skies

**.**

 **Chapter Fourteen**

* * *

Bridger hated Coruscant. Once it was a wellspring of hope and prosperity; now it was a stagnant pool of corruption. The Councilor had found it easier to build from nothing, rather than form this burned out planet into something _close_ to the democratic society the New Republic toted to any who would hear. Capital City was a hollow shell Bridger merely stepped in to fill out. Yet Coruscant was a dead body he would need to pay someone to deal with.

The intelligence network Bridger ran was rooted deeply here out of political necessity, but the senate was not the simplistic political dance Bridger knew from home. Everything here was complicated, and all news was bad news.

Rey the miscreant Jedi was missing.

"So you're telling me, that neither of you are involved… _whatsoever._ " Ezra said flatly, staring across his desk at the two former Resistance members that wondered in for their shifts early. Their names were circulating around his office as potential troublemakers, but he had thought (wrongly) that trouble would take time.

"Nope." Finn answered.

"Nada." Poe confirmed with a straight face.

Ezra appraised them both over knitted fingers, exhaustion evident from the bags under his eyes. A child could tell they were lying, but there was little he could do about it without evidence.

"I don't believe you, so cut the _poodoo_ and tell me where she is."

"Sir, there is a problem with your perception... because there is no _poodoo_." Poe answered.

It was always the talkative ones that gave Ezra the most grief. Poe could just talk him in circles. It was the other that was the weaker link, the man who was just a bag of emotions. Ezra kept his eyes on Finn and kept pushing. He could be just as annoying as this Poe character if he wanted to be.

"You've been in my office four times over the last week to whine about your friend's situation, and now she's on the loose. You are saying you have _nothing_ to do with that?"

"I think he's having a problem with his ears too…" Poe stage whispered to Finn, who was focusing on nothing else but his poker face.

Ezra huffed angrily, "Where's the Wookie?"

"In the Falcon. Your guys already searched it." Finn piped up, trying not to fidget with his hands. Poe was already starting to babble to divert attention from his friend, he knew as well as Ezra did that Finn was the man to lean on if he wanted one of them to break. Maybe he should separate them? But that would take time, and Ezra didn't have the luxury of time.

Ezra rubbed at his temples. They were going to continue to stone-wall him unless he gave them the consequences of their actions.

"Look. Your friend is in over her head… and that was _before_ she made a break for it. Once we find her, I can overlook this whole _problem_. Let Vess know I borrowed her for a chat and that I had planned to bring her back. If someone _other_ than me finds her- she's going to get killed."

Finn and Poe stared disdainfully back at him, finally silent.

Ezra could see that his words weren't shaking them, so he tried harder.

"Do you know her reputation here?" Ezra could see from their eyes that they could guess. Rey was not going to win any popularity contests with either side the way things stood. Their hard faces slowly adopted concerned scowls.

"All that anger at the First Order… it didn't just peeter out when Rey was charged with those murders. It got redirected. There are many that would jump at the chance to end that girl." Ezra said pointedly.

"Thanks for the pep talk sir, but you're barking at the wrong tree." Poe said darkly.

"I don't think I am-" He went to turn up the pressure, but was interrupted by a young mechanic that burst into the office out of breath.

"Sir! There's a situation in the hangar!" He puffed, face red and sweaty from his run. Bridger whirled to the window overlooking the hangar bay, his eyes seeking out signs of distress. The mechanics and technicians were all staring at the girl slowly walking among them. It looked like a few had tried to stop her, but they were heaped in her wake - one with a bloody nose and another cradling a wrist.

She looked up at the glass and found Bridger. She stopped and stared at him, as if beckoning him to join her.

Ezra went to his window and took a hard look at the girl. She looked rough around the edges, but harmless. He felt the Force moving through her, clean and bright. It was something he had only felt in hallowed temples were the rawness of the Force bled through. Had Snoke taken this child instead of Leia's... he shuddered to think of the ramifications.

Now he had to worry about Kylo Ren's influence on her. Whether his manipulations were to pervert her powers, or to save himself from the dark. The first felt far more likely, but he knew Rey thought the latter.

Behind him Finn and Poe groaned and mimed their sentiments to Rey through the window. Ezra raised his eyebrow at them before making his way to the hangar, and to the girl waiting for a chat.

* * *

Rey knew that she was infamous, but how infamous was beyond her imagination.

When she wandered the streets with her hood up, people did double takes and recoiled as if she were venomous. It wasn't long before she was outrunning security droids and ducking through dark alleys. Word about her escape had spread fast.

Rey dodged the latest band of officials by throwing herself next to a garbage heap. She burrowed through the rusted sheet metal and tendrils of wire until she was camouflaged and quiet. Soon the noise of her pursuers died down and she could hear herself think.

Even though the climate was colder and the streets smellier, this felt more like Jakku than anywhere else Rey had been in the last several months. Rey tried to take comfort in that. Staying out of trouble and out of sight used to be her specialty until BB-8 rolled into her life.

"Everything is going to be all right." she muttered to herself, trying to coax the most rattled parts of her that her situation was under control. But Rey knew what she was risking. If she never made it to Bridger, a planet of people were at risk of annihilation by the First Order - by Kylo Ren.

She couldn't let that happen.

She'd find a way to Bridger.

"I need a plan…" Her voice sounded pathetic, and Rey shook her head to gain some of the courage she knew she had stashed away. She stood up and looked around the alleyway for anything she could use. There was a slightly rotten piece of fruit near her foot. She picked it up, cleaned off the good parts of the flesh and bit into it while she thought. It was still good - only partly fermented. Her luck was improving.

"Maybe all I need is a little luck… Force luck." She thought aloud, as if BB-8 were there to give her some moral support. If there were was ever a time for mystical powers of the universe to kick in and save the situation, it would be now.

Rey closed her eyes and felt the Force waiting there, flowing through her like the tide. How had she never noticed it's churning? Was it always there?

The girl felt tied to the universe a thousand times over, tethered to souls, stars and all in between. How easy it was to get lost in the space of a blink when filled with such power. Did Ben feel this way too?

Rey was tempted to seek out the man and ask. Push through the darkness and find his familiar face. The thought was soothing, despite her anger at him. He had meddled with her head again, bringing back memories of more terrible times. Even so, she also missed his company and confidence.

With her eyes still closed she envisioned him - feeling the Force ready to guide her to him. It was such a familiar path, taunting her to follow. She stopped, not even realizing her feet were halfway there by the time she came to her senses. The Force had mastered her - she needed it the other way around.

Rey focused harder. There were other ways here, if she was careful enough to look for them. A different path to other places unknown. Ezra Bridger was trained in the Force. Could she sense him as she sensed Kylo Ren? Could he be at the end of one of these untrod paths?

The moonlight that was Ben Solo sank back into the coldness where Rey pushed it, and in the lingering darkness Rey could see pinpricks of light. She drew in a breath at the wonder of it. There were so many! Dozens, no _hundreds_ of stars spattered across her vision. Some glowed vibrantly, some flickered with distortion. A bright one was near her, but what was _near_ in this space? A metre? A mile? A planet? A system away?

A beat of sweat trickled down her neck and she tensed, straining to detect any useful information from the light she sensed nearby. Reaching Ben felt like climbing a long staircase; finding Bridger felt like being dropped in the middle of a sandstorm and orienting to his voice over the noise. She wasn't even sure if that voice was Bridger's.

Rey got to her feet, eyes partly closed to ' _hear_ ' over the din of the street.

She stuck to the shadows before leaping to the rooftops to close the distance to the Force-light. As she got closer, Rey began to recognize buildings she had once seen from the New Republic buildings Vess Karth had frequented. She could also feel the signature of the light. It was familiar. Rey didn't know how to explain her ability to tell one Force-light from another, yet it was unmistakably Ezra Bridger.

Rey jumped down from the row of shops across the speeder traffic, and weaved through the suspended crosswalks to get to the open hangar bay. The faces of the workers there were recognizable, but their expressions varied from surprise to anger. Two mechanics yelled something as soon as their eyes laid on her. One went to subdue her, but Rey was ready. She tripped him, sending the mechanic head first into the side of a fighter. She then Force-pushed another to land heavily on his back.

"I didn't come here to fight." Rey said loudly. "I came here to speak with Senator Ezra Bridger." Was he a senator? Most referred to him as Councillor in Capital City, and Vess Karth just called him Bridger. Was he a General?

This was part of the reason Rey hated politics. Too many names!

" _Murderer_! We believed in you… The general believed in you..." said a resistance pilot with anguish in her tone. Rey opened her mouth to defend herself, but a wave of hate and sadness overwhelmed her.

"How dare you come here after what you have done!" said another, sorrow replaced by heat.

" _Traitor!_ " snarled three technicians, fists tightening over their heavy tools.

Rey could also hear the word Sith being tossed around in the background of their hate. It took her a moment to compose herself and shut the feelings out. She swallowed despite her mouth being dry, and tried not to look at the meanness in their faces. Even without their emotions pressing in on her, she knew they were there. The former Jedi shook as she stood surrounded by her former allies.

These people thought her a monster.

She would have preferred them to have no opinion of her at all. That was how it was supposed to be… before the Force intervened. A nobody wouldn't have to deal with this. A nobody wouldn't be expected to save worlds with words.

Rey turned her eyes away from the people, and looked up to Ezra's office. He was by the window, and met her gaze. It felt like a rolling numbness down her back. There was no hate between them - only surprise. Behind the Councillor was Finn and Poe. Rey could barely make out their features, but she was certain they did not like her sudden appearance.

She waited out the loud heckling and occasional throw of a wrench, until the three men made their way through the hanger to where she stood. The workers were now crowding closer, wondering what the hell was going to happen.

Bridger approached Rey casually.

"I didn't expect you to turn up here. Your friends made me assume that they had already smuggled you off world."

Rey's face was angled towards the floor. "I couldn't leave. There are more important things than me at the moment."

Bridger smiled, it had a genuine kindness to it. Rey held onto it like a lifeline.

"I assume you don't want an audience?" The councilman turned in a gesture to offer her the privacy of his office.

Rey hesitated, then looked at the workers leering around her. "I… I think they should hear this too." Her voice still sounded thin, but she raised it all the same.

"The Pantera system will be attacked soon by the First Order." Rey tried not to let the outrage of the crowd derail her words. "If we do not mobilize now… it will be too late to stop them."

The words _trap_ , _trick_ , and _lies_ seemed to blend poorly into the ambient noise of the room.

Finn and Poe looked to each other. Bridger cocked his head. "You have a contact in the First Order and I assume he told you this?"

"Yes."

"He could be lying." He said slowly, watching Rey's reaction.

Rey stood her ground, "Not to me."

" _You_ could be lying." Bridger added.

She shook her head and stared around at the people gathered in earnest. "There is blood on my hands, I can't deny it - accidental or not." Her expression was pained as she remembered the weight of Leia in her arms. "But I can not watch anymore. I can not let a world of innocent people fall to the First Order - to any faction. I am willing to trade my freedom to prevent it from happening again. Please. Help them."

Loud protestations and panicked murmurs broke out among Bridger's people. Rey knew most of them felt as if she were baiting them into a trap, but she didn't need to convince them - only Bridger. She looked to him, pleading him to believe her.

Bridger's eyes narrowed a fraction before he turned to the crowd.

"Prep the fleet."

"You can't be serious!" Cried the closest pilot. A few echoed his sentiment.

Bridger raised his hand. It cut the noise of the hanger in half. He killed the rest of their riot by turning his palm towards Rey and using the Force to take Kylo Ren's lightsaber from her.

No one knew that Ezra Bridger was a former Jedi Acolyte - that was until now.

Silence ripped through the crowd and all that could be heard was Rey's disgruntled " _Hey!"_ as she reached out to try and take it back.

"This is the moment we have been waiting for. General Leia Organa knew the day would come when the First Order would wantonly terrorize the innocent. She felt it, connected as she is to the Force that moved her and her brother to save the Galaxy. Many of you grew up with the tales."

Bridger held the crowd's attention, their eyes on the saber in his hand. Everyone knew the Jedi were a force for good. Defenders of the innocent.

Rey wavered under the scrutiny of her peers, knowing that she did not live up to the reputation - nor did she want to. Yet, there was a change in the people. Their hatred shifted. While Bridger spoke he moved beside Rey like an ally. Rey could feel the discord in the emotions running through the room. She was sure Bridger could feel it to.

"I once dreamed of being a Jedi myself… but the Dark side calls to everyone. Especially the strong. I chose a different path, and became someone my home world needed. A leader who takes advantage of any opportunity that comes his way." From deep in his sleeve, Bridger took out an unfamiliar hilt of what was obviously another lightsaber.

"This was my own blade, I haven't wielded it in many years… but I believe it suits you more than I." He put it in Rey's hand. Her fingers instinctively wrapped around it. She didn't know what to say. Neither did the bystanders.

"I will hold on to this one." He held up Kylo Ren's saber again and started to walk away. "Fighters! Deploy! You will be briefed on the _Solarius_ while on route to the Pantera system. If you have a problem with your orders, turn in your equipment to my secretary." He started to walk over to a pair of women by the door. "Rey, you're with me. You two-" He pointed to Finn and Poe who were exceptionally quiet. "-report to the _Millenium Falcon_."

"Yes sir." They both said in tandem. Not quite believing what was happening.

* * *

 **A/N** : To be edited. But I need to get this out to start on the other chapters. Two left I think? I'm going to be juggling around some of the earlier chapters to improve the flow of this tale. I never seem happy with it! Hope you enjoy. Please read and review.


	15. To the Ground

**.**

 **Chapter Fifteen**

* * *

Kylo Ren's eyes were fever bright as orbital fire raked the moon below. Hundreds of lives were choked out with every volley fired at the city below. Ren had been so wrapped in his Jedi-killing ambitions when the Hosian system fell, that the devastation had barely struck a chord. This time he tortured himself with the nightmare he orchestrated. The suffering of the planet was loud through the Force, but it was _necessary_. He needed the Pantorans crying to each other over wires and waves, creating a noisy panic that could be heard systems away.

The siren call for the New Republic.

It was difficult for Ren to watch. Necessary. This was _necessary_. His mantra was sickeningly familiar. The death of his father - he thought that was necessary too.

The Supreme Leader ground his teeth.

His emotions were killing him. They ached like an exposed nerve. Ren could no longer could he draw upon his hatred and despair to destroy. He left his Sith ways when Rey forgave him; but he was far from a Jedi. No force-user alive could cleanse themselves of everything that made them human. His emotions were _there,_ raw and useless. Perhaps this was a form of atonement? The last agony he would have to endure to draw this unfortunate era to an end.

But what would Rey say when she saw what he had done?

Would he still have her forgiveness ?

He longed for her to be beside him, screaming at him, telling him that this wasn't him. This wasn't Ben Solo. That he needed to be better. That he still _could_ be better than _this_.

The plastisteel footfalls of Captain Phasma thundered through the Bridge.

The Supreme Leader closed his eyes, sensing anger approaching.

"We should establish a blockade. That is the proper tactical strategy! Deploying ground troops will only get in the way of our air support!" Phasma barked.

Ren toyed with how to respond. Officers were already ogling Phasma as if she were a dead woman walking, but others heard of the change in Kylo Ren and wanted to see it for themselves.

"You will do as your Supreme Leader Commands." Ren did not turn from the bridge window. His mind was on the barrage occurring thousands of kilometers below him.

"It is my duty to inform you when you are making an error that could jeopardize The Order!" Phasma continued, her arrogance grating. She was making the Bridge crew skeptical. Ren could taste it in the room.

"Your lack of faith is… _predictable_." Kylo Ren said darkly as he stepped away from the glass. Dramatically, he swept his cloak aside to approach her - ensuring he had everyone's attention. "We need troops on the ground to take the Capital. General Noran and our esteemed council believe that we have a labour shortage - soon we won't."

The Bridge crew looked from Ren to Phasma, not bothering to hide their reactions to their leader's shocking display of diplomacy. Where was the melting hole in Phasma's armor? The clatter of her body against the deck?

"What of Bridger's Mercenary Army?" Phasma's voice had dropped to something less accusatory.

Kylo Ren knew the Captain was grasping for evidence of his inability to lead. Her proposed alliance still hung unanswered between them. She searched for meaning in every action - some sort of sign that he would acknowledge her. This made her look desperate. Kylo Ren used this. The crew would only see her failed attempts at power, and Kylo Ren's cunning riposte.

Ben may have his father's heart, but he had his mother's mind.

"Bridger's strength is his influence on Lothal. He cannot deploy from Coruscant without going through New Republic channels. The Galactic Concordance makes that illegal. If his troops are sent illegally, or if the New Republic formally declares war - they will create a political mess that we can exploit. Either way, that decision will take time. Days. A week. By then we will have captured half this planet and have slagged the rest." He held his hands behind his back - calm and composed.

Phasma was thrown.

Kylo Ren had to struggle to keep his face neutral.

"Won't this unite the core planets against us…?" Her voice was uncertain.

Kylo Ren sneered, "If the Hosian system didn't unite them, one more planet will be nothing. Democracy is slow. We'll always have the initiative over the New Republic. It is their weakness."

The two of them regarded one another. Collectively, the Bridge crew realized they were idling and went back to their duties.

"I don't remember you talking this much." Phasma muttered quietly. It wasn't meant as an insult. The way she formed the statement, there was a hint of awe under her usual briskness.

Kylo Ren didn't like it. It unsettled him.

He lowered his voice to match hers.

"I have not changed so much Phasma. The next time I need to explain myself to you, it will be with my blade." He went to grip his saber to make the threat heavier, but realized he did not have it. He had given it to Rey. He hoped his words did not draw attention to that fact as he turned back to the window of the Bridge. The laser fire from the weapons array sent a flash red light across his face.

Phasma inclined her head. "I will deploy my forces as y-"

She didn't get to finish that sentence as the Finalizer lurched and a klaskson blared a proximity alert. Two officers jumped from their seats. Kylo Ren looked to the frantic commander at tactical before addressing the surprised lieutenant manning the sensors.

"Report."

"Several ships dropping from Hyperspace. One misjudged and rammed us near the starboard ion drives. Getting a report on the damage. Other ships are an old Ranger-class… an HAT of some sort. Two transport vessels… Sir, they keep coming. Four gunships now… one may be a freighter with a battle array welded onto it." His surprise revealed how out of the norm that set-up was.

The lieutenant continued his stream of information while Kylo Ren struggled to keep his face still. Pride that Rey had got his message to Bridger bloomed within him, but anxiety that this these hours may be his last quelled it. He needed determination to see ensure that the sacrifices that got him here were not in vain. He couldn't fall apart before then.

"Your orders sir!" Several officers shouted over blaring consoles and the discordant whine of their peers.

Kylo Ren tore across the bridge, Phasma falling in behind him. "Deploy the fighters! Captain, get your troops on the ground. Hold the Pantorans hostage to buy time. I will deal with _this_. Have the crew prepare my Silencer." He had only just gotten it back from the authorities on Lothal. He didn't have enough time to see if Dameron messed with it.

"Yes sir!" The bridge was actively buzzing at their stations while Kylo Ren fled down the halls. Phasma jogged behind him.

"Who will command the Finalizer, if you're in battle? And how did they get here so fast-" The Captain shouted over the alarm. Men and woman in fell in behind her as they made their way to the hanger. The lift down several floors was tense as they argued.

"Noran will be enough. I will instruct her from my position on the field."

"That's bullshit sir! If you are killed I can't coordinate from the ground and Noran is _weak_."

"This will be the last time you contradict me." Kylo Ren hissed in warning as he exited the lift and glided into the hanger bay.

Everything was scripted movement on the hanger floor; TIE fighters were already deploying, transport carriers were loading troops and technicians were calling to each other in rhythm. This was something Kylo Ren admired about the First Order. People working like a machine. Moving predictably - without question. If only the whole galaxy were so simple…

He reminded himself that at one point he thought it could be.

The Supreme Leader pulled himself into the cockpit of his silencer, his fingers moving without consciousness to get the ship off the ground and through the hangar bay doors. He fell into the ion wake of the squadron ahead of him, letting their movements guide his as he focused on evaluating his enemies.

Every vessel with hyperspace capabilities that Bridger could find had a weapon system strapped to it - regardless of how well it worked or if it already had an arsenal. Kylo Ren watched as a handful of TIE fighters ripped apart a garbage frigate with outdated projectile armaments. Even with his careful planning, Ren was starting to worry that Bridger wouldn't be a challenge for the Finalizer.

His comms burst with static and a micro-holo of General Noran appeared on his console.

"Sir, our forces are decimating their front lines. There appears to be an old Republic Battle Cruiser in the rear. It is deploying half a squad of X-wings and heading in your direction. I believe they mean to take out the ships attacking the surface."

"They won't be able to ignore the TIE fighters."

Any reply was cut off by half a dozen X-wings falling in behind the squadron Ren was running with. Lasers nearly took out some of his bow thrusters as he peeled from the group. To his right a fighter exploded, sending shrapnel spinning after him and in the face of the enemy.

Most of the X-wings went after the retreating TIE fighters who were maneuvering into the debris of the ships they already destroyed. One X-wing stayed on Kylo Ren's tail, rolling to fire a spiral of lasers close enough to set off Kylo Ren's sensors. None hit. It was merely a light show to announce his presence.

 _Dameron_.

Kylo Ren pushed the throttle and watched the pilot fall away. An X-wing's engines were outdated compared to the Silencer. This bought Ren time to check in with the ship. Noran was mirroring the Destroyer's tactics to a small screen to his left that was over his shoulder and annoying to look at.

The shields were up.

Now was the tricky part. The Finalizer needed to lower their shields to signal the detonator on the generators and blow the power conduit - leaving the Finalizer defenseless. The firepower Ezra brought wouldn't be enough to puncture the shields on their own - not while the fighters were taking them out.

He'd need to get Noran to lower the shields while in combat for this plan to proceed.

Ren's trialing X-wing came up from behind as he curled back into the battlezone. The ship wasn't firing weapons… but a targeting lock was detected.

"Annoying… even when _not_ talking." Kylo Ren muttered under his breath while he toggled some of his venting systems and ducked into a field of debris.

His wake turned into a cone of ion dust, which made him hard to follow. He decelerated with some spin to blend in with the objects around him and hailed General Noran again. She answered, but her hologram was focusing on something else.

"Report." Ren growled.

Noran was moving, eyes flickering to consoles Ren couldn't see as she made her way around the bridge. "We have stopped our ground assault to give our troops breathing room to secure the capital. They're realigning to target incoming heavies-"

"Who authorized this? I ordered you to keep firing-!" Ren was interrupted by a sudden flash of green. His ship tossed from the hit. He looked up at the X-wing that found him despite his 'smoke screen'. Through their respective cock-pits Kylo Ren locked eyes with Poe Dameron.

The idiot wasn't grinning for once.

"Captain Phasma sir… she is… she is… the tactical advisor. I… trust her judgement sir." Noran continued, unaware her boss had been fired upon. Her lips were quivering in fear, even as she continued to work.

Kylo Ren clenched his fist. They feared him, but even so, respect won in the end. He would need to kill Phasma. Kill anyone that defied him to keep them in line.

He shot a barrage from his photon cannons that raked Poe Dameron from bow to wing. Ren watched as the transparent aluminum of his cockpit cracked from the blow, instinctively making Poe reach for a vacuum mask in case he lost pressure.

In the distraction, Kylo Ren rocketed from the debris field in a wide curve, heading straight towards the Finalizer.

"Noran. Drop Shields."

"Sir, we're taking suppressive fire-"

" **Drop**. **Shields**."

Despite the damage Poe had taken, he was chasing after Kylo Ren like a bird on fire. He was aiming at Kylo Ren's non-essential systems to slow him down, but Kylo Ren was faster and with every meter gained, the shots got chancier. It amused Ren that Poe wasn't trying to go for the kill. Bridger must want him alive.

Kylo Ren approached the hanger and the shields flickered. Standard procedure for a vehicle coming in hot was to drop the shields for a few seconds - enough to clear the doors. With Kylo Ren's interfering, they were eliminated. The Finalizer's defense reactors exploded. The damage would need to be contained less it interact with other systems, so he wouldn't be hearing from Noran for awhile... if at all.

He saw the ship shutter as his explosives detonated. The Finalizer listed from the power of it, and Kylo Ren dived to keep from crashing into the hull. Unfortunately Poe took that moment to deliver a shot that should have grazed the Silencer's underbelly, but instead went straight to the engine as Ren shifted downwards.

His fuel tank exploded, taking most of the Silencer's stern with it. Kylo Ren cried out despite himself, fear twisting within him. He heard Rey's voice, pounding in his head but he couldn't make out the words as the craft spun wildly and he couldn't stop his terror induced roar.

His military training kicked in once he ran out of breath to scream. His hands reached for the full-faced helm above him that would keep him breathing and protect his head. Every screen on the dashboard was flashing a technicolor death rattle. Ren closed his eyes and kept his hands on the controls. They were unresponsive. A calm voice in the back of his head told him it was because half his ship was missing.

He opened his eyes, and forced himself to survey the chaos outside of his cockpit.

The Finalizer had a gaping hole in it's side. Bridger's army was taking advantage of the situation and laying into the vessel despite TIE fighters ripping their ranks apart. Kylo Ren spotted the ship as it tried to use it's starboard thrusters to orient towards the Pantorean moon. Were they trying to land? They would tear themselves apart entering atmo.

Not that it mattered. He did his part. Who won didn't matter to him anymore. He was a dead man.

The battle fell away and Orto Plutonia grew bigger and bigger. Ren had no control of his ship, he was at the mercy of his trajectory - which was an inevitable death by the fires of re-entry, then the cold impact of gravity. The explosion had sent him towards the planet and soon he'd be a dusty meteor streaking across their sky. It sounded like a fitting death for a Skywalker. He was ready. He was tired. A part of him looked forward to the potential that he could apologize to his parents.

An damaged X-wing burned towards him, but what could it to?

Dameron slammed into him, locking one of its upper wings with the remnants of the Silencer. Kylo Ren reeled from the change in velocity, then sat up in his seat, straining his restraints, to get a look at what the hell happened.

Poe was decelerating just enough to hook the Silencer and keep it her steady on its back. As they entered the upper atmosphere, the X-wing was taking the brunt of the heat - shielding Kylo Ren. Poe couldn't fold down his wings for lift in the atmosphere, or else he would lose his impromptu cargo.

The former Supreme Leader stared at the back of the pilot's head - wondering what was going on within it. Both of them were sure to die locked together like this.

With a shutter Kylo Ren fell back into his chair as the gravitational forces tugged heavily on his chest. Poe was doing his best to slow their decent, but without lift he wasn't going to be able to do enough. After a few minutes of crushing G-forces, Kylo Ren heard squealing metal, felt the shock of weightlessness for a moment, then the terror of free-fall.

Then he felt nothing at all.

* * *

 **A/N** : I'm going to end this story... even if it takes me over a month per chapter! One or two more! This chapter is probably super janky, but I'll edit it later.


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